Originally Posted by newaccx
If you happened to be finishing exams and finishing uni after 3 years, would you expect your significant other to acknowledge this and take you out for a meal, surprise you (supermarket flowers) or just a takeaway? just something to say well done or something. especially if it has been tough for you?

It is in the nature of our relationship to celebrate so I took my SO out for a meal when they got a new job.

would you be upset if this didn't happen?
I'm thrown off by 'expect' and 'surprise' being in the same sentence.

The only behaviors I'd ever 'expect' of family, friends or a lover is something to which they've expressly agreed in advance.

If I want to mark an occasion by celebrating, I'm the one who says, "Ghaaad, I'll be so happy when this is over. Would you be free on Thursday night to celebrate with me?" ...and to me, this would imply that I'M the one who wants to treat the other.

I learned long ago that creating fantasies in my mind then expecting anyone else to live up to those is ME sabotaging myself and my own happiness.

Skip living in your head, and communicate what you want. You will grow to thank yourself for this mature and straightforward behavior instead of setting people up badly only to feel justified when you've hurt yourself in the process.

Head high, and congrAts on your accomplishment.