Ex meddling in our relationship

I need help and I created this account just to seek th advice of others. I actually truly wanted to know what others thought just so I could show her what everyone is around me had been telling me. What everyone has also thought but since they are my family She feel they may lie for me. I tried to express that my ex-wife that is furious over me leaving for her will do and say anything to ruin our marriage. She has cursed it from day one. She has fought everything and even tried manipulating my wife. I will be honest, I have lied to my wife in the past n I have cheated but with someone else. So my credibility with her isn’t good. I have said numerous times that my ex wife will say anything to mess this up and she so naive and gullible that she can’t see someone doing it. I just want to get others opinions to show her this. I have been there n a guy called me or said something to me and I would say anything to hurt him. Please chime in.

Dude, the problem is not your ex, its you.

If you hadn't run around and cheated and lied to your current wife, your marriage would be strong and nothing your ex did or said would have an impact on your current marriage. Maybe your ex wife is telling your wife the truth about you (warning her that you are a cheater, etc.) and the truth hurts. Anyway, go to marriage counseling. START being faithful to your wife. Unless you have kids together, there is no reason to talk to your ex wife at all. The fact that she has access to your wife is also your fault

You're aren't being very clear. For example you say that you left your wife for your current gf, but then you say it was someone else. What answers are you expecting? That it's your ex's fault? I don't know if any info you gives us can help us make that call, but you can try.

I cheated years ago and has went as far as giving my wife my location via google maps location sharing and it never goes off. I gave her all my passwords to build trust. I go to work and home. I have kids with my ex and my wife called her over her coming after us so it’s not my fault she has access when I told her to let me handle it. So, I been faithful and messed up way before we married.

Why did you cheat? What are you lying about?

I didn't understand most of what you wrote as it did not give much detail and it was a bunch of mixed info. Explain so that your audience can understand your situation.

What are you doing to stop this drama? What boundaries are you enforcing?

Unfortunately you're doing a great job of destroying your marriage without your ex 'meddling'.

I have lied to my wife in the past n I have cheated but with someone else.

Your wife actually is part of the problem. To repair credibility, both parties need to make an effort. It is time for your wife to enforce a boundary, to block your ex, and turn to you with her questions and concerns.

in a marriage, you must turn to each other and practice being a team. Neither you nor the wife gets to let a 3rd party come between you.

I think you are ALL at fault. This is a circus. You admit you cheated and lied...your wife inviting your ex into your lives, and your ex acting crazy. Seriously, stop the madness...get a grip.

If you two agreed to go forward after the extra marital (or pre-marital) activity, then you both need to do that. In a sense, your wife is now cheating on you by putting your ex wife's word above your own - by going outside of the marriage for intimate (social) contact that is intended to be only for the two of you.

Forget about blame. Do what you need to do.

Shut out everyone else and hold on to each other.

If you have kids with your ex, its not bad for your wife to try to have some form of relationship with her for the sake of the kids. SO don't pin this on your wife. You are the one who cheated and is allowing all of this. If your wife reaches out for the sake of the kids and your ex causes drama, then its up to you to put the kabosh on your ex's behavior. But i am wondering if the women are talking and they are both now wise to you and that's the trouble. Ex is revealing uncomfortable truths. Who knows

I need help and I created this account just to seek th advice of others. I actually truly wanted to know what others thought just so I could show her what everyone is around me had been telling me. What everyone has also thought but since they are my family She feel they may lie for me. I tried to express that my ex-wife that is furious over me leaving for her will do and say anything to ruin our marriage. She has cursed it from day one. She has fought everything and even tried manipulating my wife. I will be honest, I have lied to my wife in the past n I have cheated but with someone else. So my credibility with her isn’t good. I have said numerous times that my ex wife will say anything to mess this up and she so naive and gullible that she can’t see someone doing it. I just want to get others opinions to show her this. I have been there n a guy called me or said something to me and I would say anything to hurt him. Please chime in.

This is very confusing. You have an ex-wife with whom you have kids (she's trying to ruin your life) and you have a wife who doesn't trust you. You've cheated in the past but you cheated before meeting your current wife. You cheated on your ex-wife but your current wife is the woman you eventually left your ex-wife for. Is this correct?

I'm getting the feel that you're here not to seek advice but to get people to side with you. You mentioned you have people around you telling you things (we don't know what those are). Why are there so many people with opinions about your personal life and why is your personal life aired out so much? It's only the opinion of your present wife that matters for the survival of your marriage and your sanity.

I'd really encourage you to rebuild that bond with your wife now. Stop worrying so much about what others think and if your wife is distrusting of you and you both have irreconciliable differences, it's time to cool it and perhaps think of going your separate ways. If you think you can work it out with her, be genuine and put in the effort. Stop wasting your time and energies conducting surveys about what people think about you or your marriage/s. It shouldn't be like this where you're both gathering armies of different people to listen or fight your private wars for you. Start working on your relationship with your wife now or part ways.

What the...

Why would you put a bunch of strangers on the internet in the middle of your relationship? And what the hell are you expecting is to say, yes trust him! Based on what? Limited info that states you have a whole lot of drama and you cheat and have an ex wife who you cheated on and left for your current wife?

Sounds like mild gaslighting to me.

How about you talk to a counselor?

You can’t force someone to trust you when you broke their trust, that’s not how it works.

Honestly she’s not innocent either, any woman who will cheat with you should expect to get cheated on and she did.

Karma to me, you two deserve each other, either see a counselor or enjoy the dysfunction but I’m not participating in satiating your wife, she made a conscious choice to marry a cheat...

This is very confusing. You have an ex-wife with whom you have kids (she's trying to ruin your life) and you have a wife who doesn't trust you. You've cheated in the past but you cheated before meeting your current wife. You cheated on your ex-wife but your current wife is the woman you eventually left your ex-wife for. Is this correct?

 

I'm getting the feel that you're here not to seek advice but to get people to side with you. You mentioned you have people around you telling you things (we don't know what those are). Why are there so many people with opinions about your personal life and why is your personal life aired out so much? It's only the opinion of your present wife that matters for the survival of your marriage and your sanity.

 

I'd really encourage you to rebuild that bond with your wife now. Stop worrying so much about what others think and if your wife is distrusting of you and you both have irreconciliable differences, it's time to cool it and perhaps think of going your separate ways. If you think you can work it out with her, be genuine and put in the effort. Stop wasting your time and energies conducting surveys about what people think about you or your marriage/s. It shouldn't be like this where you're both gathering armies of different people to listen or fight your private wars for you. Start working on your relationship with your wife now or part ways.

I understood he cheated on his ex with his current wife (left the ex wife for the current wife) and that he also cheated on the current wife on the past and that's why she doesn't trust him. But maybe I understood wrong because it's all very confusing.

What does your wife not know that you want her to know?

What is she doing that you don't want her to do?