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how to first meet a fwb you met on tinder? He wants hook up straight away and I want to go on one date first so I can meet him. Any way to find a compromise? He’s not a total stranger as he’s friends with my mates and we been talking for a while. Just don’t know how to get round the first hurdle of meeting him. I’m looking for a chill summer thing anyway with no strings attached so it’s perfect for me, I just don’t know how to start xx

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this is all wrong though

 

find someone with whom you have sexual tension, attraction. let the hook up result from you both indulging your desires. like eating dessert, perhaps.

 

fwb is friends... friends. you two aren't even friends.

 

find someone else for NSA sex. he's too mechanical.

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You just say “no”.

 

Listen - there are tons of guys who would love to have a FWB. Tons. They are a dime a dozen. If this guy doesn’t even care enough for you to feel safe and comfortable and secure, you just walk away. Period.

 

You are not a prostitute. He can’t just order up a girl to come to his house and have sex with him whenever he wants (well he can... there are phone numbers for that...)

 

I’m pretty sure if you flat-out refuse, he’ll rethink his stance. But frankly, after this request, i’m not sure why you want him anyways.

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If he wants to hook up straight away he isn’t looking for a fwb.

He is merely looking for a hook up.

There needs to be mutual attraction and respect for a fwb scenario.

So, tell him!

Say that you are open to a fwb thing but only if there is attraction on YOUR part. And the only way to determine that for YOU is if you meet for a no hook up casual chat first.

If he is not down to do that then he is not on the same page.

 

Given that you are unsure how to approach this, I’m unsure if you actually are capable of a fwb thing?

It requires blunt openness and honesty and you are already struggling at the first hurdle.

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He IS a total stranger, that your friends know him is irrelevant, you don't and you don't compromise, you tell him no thanks and find someone who has the courtesy of meeting you before trying to stick their D in you. How do you even know there is attraction without meeting? I don't even know how you can be attracted to someone who seeks to treat you like an unpaid hooker.

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Ok first off this isn’t FWB this is a potential F*ck Buddy. I’m usually not big on labels but he doesn’t want to go on a date first he wants to do the do. You don’t seem to be in the same head space so time to stop and go back to the drawing board, weak boundaries and fear to stand your ground, to me, screams insecurity and one that doesn’t truly want just sex, they are trying to backdoor their way into a relationship, not saying that’s you, just saying your inability to say no when let’s be honest as the woman giving away free sex you have the power is troubling to me.

 

I don’t think this is the one for you. Like I said time to re-evaluate what you want. And again, you’re giving up no strings attached short term sex, girl be picky...

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You hold all the cards in this situation so act like it!

 

As has been mentioned above he is already treating you like a piece of meat instead of someone he wants to enjoy a mutually beneficial sexual relationship with. I totally agree that the Friends component in a FWB is important. Besides you need to have a discussion on ground rules. The use of condoms, expectations, frequency, your place or his and on and on.

 

You have so many guys to choose from remember that.

 

Be safe, insist on meeting in a public place and get to know anyone you are about to get naked with.

 

Lost

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I wouldn't engage in an fwb or hook up buddy situation with a person who is in any way, shape or form associated or friends with anyone I currently know. I don't think this is a good idea at all. Your situation may be aired out and discussed between your friends and it's too much of a risk.

 

It doesn't seem like you're cut out for an fwb situation either. The circumstances aren't fwb-like, to me, and you seem too worried about not knowing him well enough to sleep with him. If you're on a rebound and still healing, I think you need more time to come out of the relationship/exclusive head space. You're not in the right frame of mind for this.

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how to first meet a fwb you met on tinder? He wants hook up straight away and I want to go on one date first so I can meet him. Any way to find a compromise? He’s not a total stranger as he’s friends with my mates and we been talking for a while. Just don’t know how to get round the first hurdle of meeting him. I’m looking for a chill summer thing anyway with no strings attached so it’s perfect for me, I just don’t know how to start xx

.

 

There's a difference between FWB and one night stands. He's looking for one night stands, you're looking for someone to be friends with and have sex with. Just tell him what you want and require. If he has a problem with it, wish him good bye, and good luck. In life, this one of those things you don't compromise on.

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