Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Results 21 to 29 of 29

Thread: Helpline said not abuse just incompatible

  1. #21
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    22,339
    Gender
    Female
    All relationships being voluntary, why do you believe that it's necessary to diagnose someone else as abusive, when you can walk away instead?

    Your post is too difficult to read, but if you are entangled in a living situation where you own property with someone you want to move away from, seek the advice of legal aid to learn your rights and options or ask your local hospital for a referral to a social worker who can assign appropriate resources.

    If you believe that you are in danger, you don't need someone else's approval to get out. Confide in friends, family, local clergy or a local domestic violence organization for help with a plan to exit safely. If you are threatened or physically harmed, contact your local police who will initiate all of the resources you need to exit safely.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    1,518
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Why won't your mother help you?
    Her mother has a bit of mould in her bathroom, so she goes to a hotel that superficially looks like there is none instead.

    How can her mother help her when even medical Doctors can’t?
    She evades anyone that “dismisses” her self misdiagnosis.

    I’m glad she posted here today because I wanted to help her 6 months ago when she posted the same scenario elsewhere.

  3. #23
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Posts
    25
    You have this completely wrong. I never said my mother had mould . Secondly what do you call red rashes ?then it is allergies. I was there you weren't I have throat closing tightness this isn't not self diagosed but confirmed my allergy specialists. I went to a hotel for other reasons not because of mold. You have no idea of my situation from the way you misquoted stuff I said, stop posting please, this has got out of hand, it just feels like your being mean. I did not ask for this response. Your comments are inappropriate and show you have no standing of my situation.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    24,205
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Moonlight37
    You have this completely wrong. I never said my mother had mould . Secondly what do you call red rashes ?then it is allergies. I was there you weren't I have throat closing tightness this isn't not self diagosed but confirmed my allergy specialists. I went to a hotel for other reasons not because of mold. You have no idea of my situation from the way you misquoted stuff I said, stop posting please, this has got out of hand, it just feels like your being mean. I did not ask for this response. Your comments are inappropriate and show you have no standing of my situation.
    Well - its typical whenever a poster finds that people don't agree with them, they change their story to make the people answering wrong. If you can afford a hotel, then you can afford to leave

  5.  

  6. #25
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    10,468
    Lol what allergy do you have where anaphylaxis is just treated by opening a window?

    I'll be honest, the dude's a prisoner in his own home, providing for you in exchange for the benefit of what appears to be nothing at all. By him not liking how you're opening windows, I'm assuming you're frantically running about the house swinging them open because for whatever reason you think it's how you stop anaphylactic shock, which nobody wants just being a scene you have to deal with in your own home. Am I excusing the guy? No. His fault is, rather than letting this resentment build and manifest itself in such a toxic way, simply not divorcing you however many years ago. Shame on him. At the same time, I'm sorry lady, but whatever is physically in your power to be doing for yourself when someone else is providing for you is what you should be doing. Guy shouldn't even get around to grabbing a towel to wipe up your spill for you. You spill it, towel should be in your hand five seconds later.

    I'm not even willing to call it abusive. The dude's simply done. He's being a d1ck, but any more so one than someone who's essentially mocking up a debilitating condition to excuse themselves from any and all person responsibility, imposing all of it on their spouse? Gonna go ahead and say nope. And I don't think the fact your friends won't take you in despite the circumstances is any sort of coincidence. Both of you have soaked your hands in the mud. Don't deprive someone of much more immediate need a room and appropriate resources. Don't get a restraining order to have the house to yourself while he pays for it. Get your **** together and be a grown woman.
    Last edited by j.man; 06-06-2019 at 05:03 PM.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    1,518
    Originally Posted by Moonlight37
    You have this completely wrong. I never said my mother had mould . Secondly what do you call red rashes ?then it is allergies. I was there you weren't I have throat closing tightness this isn't not self diagosed but confirmed my allergy specialists. I went to a hotel for other reasons not because of mold. You have no idea of my situation from the way you misquoted stuff I said, stop posting please, this has got out of hand, it just feels like your being mean. I did not ask for this response. Your comments are inappropriate and show you have no standing of my situation.
    You are changing your story yet AGAIN.
    You said you haven’t had an appointment with an allergy specialist yet.
    Google “anxiety rash”

    The only thing that has got out of hand is your ANXIETY.
    You don’t need an allergy specialist , You need anxiety meds asap and a psychologist to help you deal with anxiety.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    2,852
    Gender
    Female
    OP, do you have a job or means of supporting yourself or do you depend on your husband financially 100%? Do you have kids? You don't need proof that a relationship is abusive to get out of a toxic relationship. You need to start making a plan to get out. Ask for help from your mother (why doesn't she take you in her house for a few days or helps you?), contact friends if you have them, talk to a divorce attorney, etc. Make an exit plan with the help of the people close to you and professionals/hotline who can help you navigate this.

    Also, do you live so isolated that you can't get a bus or other means of transportation to get to the doctor or whatever you need to go? You need to be seen by a doctor several times to have a diagnose, once or twice is not enough in most cases. What is keeping you from going to the places you need to go by yourself? Do you have crippling fear/anxiety of going alone to these places by your own means? Not judging, but some people suffer from paralyzing anxiety that prevents them from doing even the most "simple" things like going out the house or take public transports.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    12,210
    OP, in your other thread you said you were "on the dole". Are you still? Is that why you won't leave, because you have no dependable income (other than what the government provides)?

  10. #29
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    1,655
    OP you need to be independent and learn to function on your own if you want to get out of this relationship. Relying on him in any way is only going leave you disappointed and frustrated, unable to see a way out of your situation.

    Whether you have allergies, anxiety, stress, etc... you need to be more diligent about finding ways to get where you need to go, to advocate for yourself, to see a doctor consistently. Many people manage to function just fine in the world without leaning on others for help.... it takes more effort but where there is a will there is a way.

    And by the way, opening the windows to treat throat closing for an allergic reaction? Sure way to get yourself killed. Next time go to the hospital for some epinephrine. Also... rash does not = allergy. It can also be a result of stress and anxiety.

Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •