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Thread: Advice needed. He wanted a break, is this an excuse?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Chloej123
    I should have been clearer. I meant an excuse for a break so he can mess around.
    This was my first thought. Breaks are always a bad idea. The person who instigates the break wants to experiment with others without the risk of losing the person who they had a committed relationship with, ya know, in case the grass isn't greener on the other side.

    Please don't wait around for this chump. He is just using you, even if he does say he wants you back at some point.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Chloej123
    I used to spend most time at his place, around 4 days a week and we discussed me moving there
    5 months of dating is way too soon for moving soon. Usually relationships that evolve too fast and "too much too soon" also end up fizzling out soon. I always recommend interpreting "break" conversations as actual "break ups". He seems to want to want to live the single life and at 5 months in it should still be the honey moon stage and not asking for breaks. This simply wasn't meant to be.

  3. #23
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    Update - he has now text me 3 times. He is asking why I unfollowed him on social media and ask when I will ‘grow up’. I really need help to respond to this constructively!

  4. #24
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    Why bother responding to a rude, condescending message?

    I wouldn't. Except, maybe "Yes, you're right. The first thing I'm doing as a 'grownup' is saying goodbye".

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Well, while I am personally opposed to “breaks” you have agreed to one. So what was the agreement? Did you set a time for when you would talk?

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by Chloej123
    Update - he has now text me 3 times. He is asking why I unfollowed him on social media and ask when I will ‘grow up’. I really need help to respond to this constructively!
    OMG, this dude has got issues! Serious issues.

    He tells you he doesn't feel the "spark" anymore, wants a break to see if he misses you, and when you fully comply with what HE asked for, he has the freakin balls to ask why you unfollowed him and that you should grow up?!

    My advice is don't respond at all, in fact block and delete him and take steps to extricate this lame ass from your consciousness!

    He is the worst of the worst, the bottom of the barrel, and if you fall for the crap he is currently dishing out, you would only be hurting yourself.

    I can't tell if he is just another commitment "phobe" or something worse; what I do know is that it would be in your best interests to forget you ever knew this guy, and take steps to move on.

  8. #27
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    No, never set an agreement or time. He just said ‘I need space, this isn’t the vibes I want right now’. Granted, I then did not respond and gave him no contact. He has now text me 4 days later asking why I unfollowed him on social media and if I am ready to ‘grow up’ !

  9. #28
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    I know, I completely agree. I have never felt more of a combination than confused and actually angry!

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by Chloej123
    No, never set an agreement or time. He just said ‘I need space, this isn’t the vibes I want right now’. Granted, I then did not respond and gave him no contact. He has now text me 4 days later asking why I unfollowed him on social media and if I am ready to ‘grow up’ !
    This guy is quite the entitled and self-centred p**ck.

    He doesn't give a crap about you, OP. He cares about himself and having you around as an option if his current crush doesn't work out. You're seeing his true colours now, and they ain't pretty.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member JA0371's Avatar
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    Sorry you’re dealing with this Chloe. My advice is just ignore him completely. Don’t be surprised if his messages get nastier because you’re not begging him back. He sounds like an abusive narcissist. I can’t confirm that, but based on your short history it definitely sounds like it.
    Rather than respond to him....post here.
    Good luck!! 😉

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