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Thread: Ex Gf Left me... Still loves and cares for me?! Help!

  1. #1
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    Ex Gf Left me... Still loves and cares for me?! Help!

    I dated this girl for about 1.5 years. She was the best gf Ive ever had. We did so much together in that 1.5 years. My family loved her and her family loved me. It was honestly the perfect relationship tbh! Yeah we argued from time to time, but overall just a fantastic time.

    Now, about the last month or so of our relationship she started to act a little off nothing crazy, but noticeable. Then a few days after my bday she decided to move out and then break up with me.

    Im completely devastated. Its been about to two weeks since the break up, Ive spoke to her a handful of times. She keeps telling me
    I need space
    I want to be alone rn
    I dont want to be together right now, but maybe in the future
    I still love and care about you

    All this is messing with me mentally. Im use to a big argument and a big F**k you! But I still want to be with her. She said something about being friends for right now, but I dont think thatll help anything.

    I really want to be back together with her. I miss her crazy. She tells me she thinks about me all the time and is very sad right now.

    Any suggestions? Tips and advice?

    Update: I had been no contact for a little. I have a big job interview coming up and she texted me good luck. I was short and sweet and said thank you. But I am back with no contact.

  2. #2
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    It's over, Dude.

    She cares for you a great deal, but she doesn't want a relationship with you anymore. It's too painful to you to say that she doesn't want to see you anymore, so she resorts to the common trick of promising a crumb of hope in the future. That isn't going to happen, though.

    It would be great if she could be honest, but she's afraid of hurting you more. Of course she is sad. 1.5 years of habit has ended.

    Keep up the no contact, and give yourself some time to grieve the loss. Then start seeing other people.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    She either outgrew the relationship or met another guy and lost interest in you. Whatever the reason, she knows her actions could result in you permanently not being in her life and she's okay with that. The right woman will never let you go--not even once.

    Why does she say the things she's saying to you now and staying in contact? She's possibly too cowardly to do a clean break. Maybe she doesn't want to be honest of why she's breaking up because it'll hurt your feelings. Maybe she's lying about getting back together in the future to avoid drama. Also, after being together a year and a half, sometimes it's hard to all of a sudden go no contact.

    Don't let her call the shots. She didn't care enough to keep you in her life for a lifetime. Do what's best for yourself. So that you're not brought back to square one in closure if she reaches out to you in the near future or far future, you should tell her to lose your number so that you can move on.

  4. #4

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    Try to keep yourself busy and delete her number so you dont end up texting her. If she really wants you shell come back. Dont wait around for her though, get on with your life

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    What kinds of things did you argue about? You're upset so maybe it'll help talking about the things that were painful in the relationship. You don't sound like you've had a chance to process anything fully yet or accept that the bad parts were not as tolerable as you thought they were. If you need to vent you can use this thread to share more about why the relationship ended and go through the processing stage.

    When someone leaves there's a very large gap left behind, regardless of how far the relationship has broken down. There's something tangible that's lost and a completely vacant space. If you interpreted the relationship as 'fantastic' overall, that space and vacancy can be very painful dealing with.

    I like what Sarah said about it being over. It is over and it's best to start there and acknowledge the relationship is over, no matter how you turn it around in your head and no matter how much your heart thinks it might not be. It is completely over. Process and start rebuilding and re-learning this new space/your home.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    The others have spoken the harsh truth...Sorry buddy*

    What she is doing now is 'weaning off' you...it's not 100% easy for her either....Breakups come in different colours and this is hers...

    Happened to me and yes it's extremely painful....Keeps that flame of false hope burning bright*

    There's not really anything you can 'do' right now. She may come back on her own accord but you might as well go and buy a lottery ticket.

    She will have to miss you enough to change her mind and that can only happen if you're not just a phone call away you feel me?

    NC: Sometimes doing nothing is actually doing something*

    Sending You Strength

    Carus*

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    Our arguments would always be small petty things. For ex like whose wrong or right on something. Nothing ever major. We got along very well and knew each other very very well. So, I feel as if there is some hope? But at the same time I dont know

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    Thank you Carus.. I have high hopes that itll all workout. I am doing NC and trying my best to focus on me

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    Feel for you mate. Love lost is indeed a hard cross to bear and breakups happen every single day*

    It Will all work out...one way or the other....

    Just take good care of yourself. Eat and sleep the best you can. Cry when you need to. Show up for work and protect your income if you have one. Stay off the alcohol....You will need your health and strength to weather this storm*

    Check out some of these videos for deeper learning and perhaps comfort ~ [Register to see the link]

    Carus*

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Our arguments would always be small petty things. For ex like whose wrong or right on something. Nothing ever major. We got along very well and knew each other very very well.

    Then the reason she broke up with you had nothing to do with petty arguments, so there's nothing to fix, therefore nothing you can do that will "win" her back. Listen to Garth Brook's song, "Unanswered Prayers" and it might make you feel better.

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