Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 46

Thread: Ex Gf Left me... Still loves and cares for me?! Help!

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    1,194
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Bearcat2020
    Our arguments would always be small petty things. For ex like whose wrong or right on something. Nothing ever major. We got along very well and knew each other very very well. So, I feel as if there is some hope? But at the same time I don’t know
    Arguing about who is right and wrong doesn't sound minor or small. This suggests to me big incompatibilities. A couple should be able to express their differences but it shouldn't come down to who's right or wrong as that initiates blame games (pointing fingers), devaluing each other and other very negative outcomes.

    If you think that may be a contributing factor in the break up, it's healthy to acknowledge this. It would be a wake up call or a reality check, so to speak. Be realistic if you both weren't getting along or were engaging in unhealthy patterns of communication.

  2. #12
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Posts
    17
    We were both people who didn’t like conflicts. I used that as an example. We might have that “type” of argument once or twice but it was on topics that weren’t serious and would resolve very easily.

    I do find it odd she has mentioned multiple times in the future we could get back together but she doesn’t know what the future is. I’d understand that would be like “softening” the blow if said once. But she’s probably said it about 5 times in different ways. Leads me to believe she might want to in the near future? She’s a very indecisive type of person

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    central Florida
    Posts
    3,320
    Gender
    Female
    Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. If a person so easily dumps you once, she'll likely do it again when the newly kindled spark wears off.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    1,194
    Gender
    Female
    Indecisive is cute when deciding what type of ice cream to pick or what colour socks to wear for the day. It's not cute on anyone when it comes to relationship decisions and decisions involving others and others' feelings. I think you should be careful of the company you keep and try not to associate with people who treat you so carelessly.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Silver Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    456
    It's a done deal. Move on.

    Good luck with your job interview! Eliminate all distractions, concentrate and focus on doing an amazing job with the interview. Set your priorities straight.

    Continue ceasing all contact with her.

  7. #16
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Posts
    17
    I still want to be with her pretty badly. Which I know isn’t what I should be saying, but it’s the truth.

    Thank you! I think it went well!

    Still doing the no contact. From time to time I wonder when she’ll contact me

  8. #17
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    California
    Posts
    4,084
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by Bearcat2020
    I do find it odd she has mentioned multiple times in the future we could get back together but she doesn’t know what the future is. I’d understand that would be like “softening” the blow if said once. But she’s probably said it about 5 times in different ways. Leads me to believe she might want to in the near future? She’s a very indecisive type of person
    It is over. Quit trying to rationalize it by saying she is very indecisive because she is not. She decided that she no longer wanted to be with you right? It takes two to be in a relationship and she didn't want to be in one anymore. What you see as petty little arguments could have been huge issues in her eyes. So right now going back thru old arguments, discussions or having imaginary talks with her just doesn't matter. What you do is reflect what happened, admit that both made mistakes and learn from them. Then in the next relationship you try not to make those same mistakes again.

    Now the other issue is that you are holding on to her words like they mean something. Talks about the future or possible future all have to be thrown out because they no longer matter. Saying things like "I still care for you" "I need space" "We might get back together, I don't want to see anyone else, I need time for me" are all sayings to soften the blow. It gives you hope that there is still a chance. would you rather have her tell you the truth and say "I don't want to be with you anymore its over"? She felt like she had to let you down easy or give you hope, be reality is... It is over.

    This is okay, you have to remember that this is just a break up and you will take what you learned an make the next relationship better. but it wont be with this one. It will be with another girl who is more compatible with you

  9. #18
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Posts
    17
    UPDATES:

    I had been no contact for a little. I have a big job interview coming up and she texted me good luck. I was short and sweet and said “thank you.” But I am back with no contact.

    She likes all my family’s social media posts. She’ll view my Snapchat stories that I post. She wished my dad happy Father’s Day with heart emoji. Her family likes all my social media posts as well. I’ve had some very vivid dreams about us getting back together in the near future and it almost seems like it will happen.

    Also when she came to collect some stuff from my house she balled her eyes out and I cried a little too. It’s almost like someone is making her do this and she doesn’t want too? I know that’s not the case. She texted my mom the other day saying “sorry i just need space right not, but I do love him and care about him.” They had a decent conversation. Almost like she’ll want to try again at some point?

  10. #19
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    480
    Gender
    Male
    No, i think she's sad as she comes to terms with her decision and realises she wont see you anymore. It's natural but not what you want to hear.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    California
    Posts
    4,084
    Gender
    Male
    How did she know about your job interview if you two are not talking? I can tell you right now that putting your heart and life on hold is going to hurt you and you will have nothing but resentment. You just put the skids on life so you can say "Im still here right where you can find me". To be honest with you, if you moved half way across the country, if she wants you, she knows how to find you. So quit looking for signs or hints that she wants to be back. Im going to tell you a great saying and hope this helps. "If they like you, they will let you know. If they don't, they will leave you confused" So leads me to ask you.. Where are you right now?

Page 2 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •