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Thread: So damn hard to fall in love

  1. #1
    Bronze Member
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    So damn hard to fall in love

    Hi everyone, been a while since my last post.

    anyways its been a year or so since my last relationship ended terribly. in that year i've been busy just building my self up physically and financially. been hitting the gym 5 times a week and been improving my business for more financial gains. at the moment i've got everything that i could want and if i dont i could just buy it.

    However the reason why i did all the things i did was because i want to build a future for my family. but now i realise that its so hard to fall in love to even start a family. and im in the verge of giving up. in fact im just considering being single for the rest of my life, i know its a ridiculous notion.

    I cant seem to point it out but 2 - 3 years ago i could easily find love or sex through the girls i meet, i was less charismatic or even less hygienic than i am, now that i've cleaned up my act. But yet i cant seem to get myself to fall in love. i've dated plenty of girls since but i just cant find that one girl. Usually i meet girls online, as i do not have the time or energy to go out and party or mingle anymore, like the good old pickup days.

    sorry for sounding a little arrogant if i did, its not my intention i just wanted to be as transparent and honest as i can be, as my main thing is i cant point out whats wrong with me, i think im cursed or something.

  2. #2
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    So basically, your life is perfect and the ideal woman has not simply landed in your lap by clicking on a computer screen. After all, you can put oodles of energy into your body and your business, but can't muster the energy to go meet quality women in person. Your view is very narrow if the only place you can think of to meet women parties and bars. Taking classes, joining community organizations, playing sports, volunteering -- none of these has crossed your mind? Do you have any particular interests? Maybe you should pursue them in a group setting in an attempt to meet someone who might be fun. Join a meet up. Do something.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Try and focus on being more positive and be a little more go with the flow. I'm getting the sense that you're quite regimented and need to be due to your business but you can't apply business approaches to your personal life all the time. Before I met my husband I was certain I would die alone because he was lost in a tree somewhere in the wilderness (I knew exactly the kind of man that would make me happy and was giving up hope we'd ever cross paths). Fortunately for us, he is very familiar with all things tech (another hobby).

    Try being happy on your own and be less prone to needing someone with you. We all get lonely now and then but you should be independent - emotionally and mentally. I hope you feel better soon.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    I can definitely relate to your frustration, but falling in love and finding a partner cannot be put on a timeline. I've been looking for over a year as well, and while I've been on many nice dates and had a few encounters I thought might turn into something more, here I am still single.

    If you're feeling overwhelmed and burned out from trying really hard, consider taking a break. Continue to focus on yourself and the good things you enjoy in life. Having a partner is great, but it has its downsides too. Who knows? A few years you may look back on this time and wish you had enjoyed being single a little bit more.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member
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    A year is still a pretty short amount of time to recover from a rough breakup.

    Keep the parts of your life that are working, but continue to experiment with the rest and try new things. Heck, why not decide to "be single for the rest of your life". It may not be for life, but the attitude shift can actually do some good. Funny thing. Accepting your single life and finding a way to make that great has a way of opening up possibilities you may not have seen when you were desperately trying to find the right person.

    Eventually you will find something that works.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Never give up.

    Give yourself lots of time. It's a great big world out there. Patience is key. Sometimes people have to go through several people in order to find THEE ONE. That's life.

    I think you're setting your sights too far into the future.

    Think about establishing a solid friendship first, really get to know a woman and then see if the friendship can evolve into a relationship. Take baby steps. You're in a hurry and in a rush. Slow down. One thing it a time! Change the way you are.

    Put forth the energy and time and motivation will eventually grow. You can't expect women to flock to you. Shop around because they're doing the same.


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