Boyfriend issues

Ok so my boyfriend is usually exhausted when he comes home from work and doesn't want to have sex or anything but will relax for a few hours I get that and we don't really have sex besides on weekends. But in really getting irritated like I'll wake up some nights to him watching porn and he will clear the tab to act like he wasn't watching anything...I'm starting to feel like he doesn't like me anymore see he watches chicks with big and asses and ....both of mine are small...and I know he loves me but he knows how it makes me feel and he still does it...what do I do??

It doesn’t sound like he’s watching it excessively.

And you still enjoy a reasonable sex life.

He only hides that he’s watching because you have an issue with it, not because he’s doing anything wrong particularly.

This is more your issue than his.

And it seems to stem from your insecurity.

What he watches on porn has no reflection of what he thinks of you or your body shape.

Some straight men watch gay porn.

You said you know he loves you , you haven’t mentioned any other issues in the relationship so I think you might need to decide exactly how big a deal this is to you in the bigger picture?

Is it a dealbreaker for you? If yes then you know what to do.

If no, then you need to accept that he occasionally watches porn?

I mean he watches it daily and has to take meds to stay hard if he is having sex with me...and it's almost only once a week we do unless he is "too tired" then we don't but he can watch porn and not have to take any meds...

Ok well you didn’t say it was daily in your initial post.

Maybe he does have an addiction then.

Or he suffers from erectile dysfunction? And uses porn to escape from the fact.

How long have you been together and when did this issue crop up?

Has he actually been to see a GP?

We have been together for 5 months almost 6 and this issue popped up a few weeks after dating and wym by GP?. Also in just kinda upset cause he did it again last night and he left it in his internet browser too.... And I feel like he loves me just doesn't like my body which the only thing I have that guys like is being small like I'm short and skinny .....the only issue is a have small breast and ass... But like nothing I do will turn him on but watching videos turns him on

How do you know he is watching porn every night?

You have only been together a very short time?

And why say this ...? “ which the only thing I have that guys like is being small like I'm short and skinny .....the only issue is a have small breast and ass... ”

So in your opinion its all about physical appearance?? You don’t have any personality traits a guy would like??

Do you even like this guy? And why?

Ok you've been dating for 22 weeks that's about the time when sexual and other incompatibilities start showing up and have you start noticing them and questioning things. It sounds like you are in a boring rut and spending way too much time together and are simply losing the chemistry/attraction.

This isn't about your body vs porn star bodies. That is something to take up with a therapist. You can't control someone's libido, sexuality, etc. What you can do is observe this and reflect on the incompatibilities and dissatisfaction.

Ok so my boyfriend is usually exhausted when he comes home from work and doesn't want to have sex or anything but will relax for a few hours I get that and we don't really have sex besides on weekends.

He's claiming to be too exhausted for sex, but he's awake watching porn in the middle of the night with you lying next to him and will only have sex at weekends? Sounds like he just wants the titillation (literally) because he's too tired to go through foreplay and the whole shebang, but I wouldn't like it being done next to me, being honest. I'd rather just stay over at weekends if that's what he wants to do the rest of the time.

He's claiming to be too exhausted for sex, but he's awake watching porn in the middle of the night with you lying next to him and will only have sex at weekends? Sounds like he just wants the titillation (literally) because he's too tired to go through foreplay and the whole shebang, but I wouldn't like it being done next to me, being honest. I'd rather just stay over at weekends if that's what he wants to do the rest of the time.

After only 20 weeks of dating , how does she know he watches porn every night?

And how does she know it’s been every night since 3 weeks of dating?

Something isn’t adding up here!?

Yes u do and I don't need to explain why I like him

Are you already living together or do you stay at his home every night? Or does he stay at yours?

If he's not having sex with you but watching porn, he's probably a porn addict. He needs counseling or a program to get off that stuff.

Porn strikes again!

Case in point. He needs meds to get a boner to have sex with a real life woman but can get himself off watching porn with out pills.

At this point in the relationship you should still be at each other like bunnies.

How old are you two?

Lost

Well...I mean you are at a point where you need to make some hard decisions outside of "I like him". Does this kind of a lack of sex life work for you? If yes, then carry on and stop worrying about what he is doing with porn watching. If not, then time to drop this guy and find a new guy who is more active in the bedroom.

It's a case of what you are seeing is what you are getting. He isn't going to change and you aren't going to nag him into having a different libido. Don't make the mistake of making this about yourself, your looks, your body, etc. It's not about that. If he wasn't attracted to you, he has no reason to be with you. There is no upside to being in a relationship with someone you aren't attracted to. He is attracted, but this is all he has to offer. You have to decide if this is enough for you or not and act accordingly.

Are you living with this guy?

Is is so early. Your sex life will only get worse. Find someone else.

This has nothing to do with YOU!

Porn strikes again!

 

Case in point. He needs meds to get a boner to have sex with a real life woman but can get himself off watching porn with out pills.

 

At this point in the relationship you should still be at each other like bunnies.

 

How old are you two?

 

Lost

This.

Nothing wrong with watching porn, nothing wrong with taking pills to improve sex life. Both can be a whole lot of fun, both can coexist harmoniously! But if someone is able to "perform" just fine while watching porn but struggles when faced with a living, breathing woman, and if someone is more comfortable having regular sex with their hand than with a person—well, some wires have gotten crossed and clogged.

This isn't about the shape of your body, but about him. At 5 months I wouldn't even bother going down some diagnostic track, but simply accepting (or not) that this is who he is sexually. This is the kind of sex life he prefers. If it's not enough for you—which I don't think it is, or should be—I'd consider letting this go so you can match with someone who pleases you with his hands and body as often, if not more, than he pleases himself.

OP, why didn't you move on from this guy before you got attached?

Yes u do and I don't need to explain why I like him

Do explain or don’t the choice is yours but I am curious as to why you like someone that you feel neglects your physical needs, doesn’t appreciate your appearance and watches porn every single night. After only 5 months he is down to needing meds to stay hard with you? That isn’t a good sign and will only get worse.

Do explain or don’t the choice is yours but I am curious as to why you like someone that you feel neglects your physical needs, doesn’t appreciate your appearance and watches porn every single night. After only 5 months he is down to needing meds to stay hard with you? That isn’t a good sign and will only get worse.

Why has this been acceptable ,OP?