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Thread: Emotional girlfriend

  1. #1

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    Emotional girlfriend

    My girlfriend is too emotional sometimes. I feel like I’m either Insensitive or she is too emotional. I let a lot of things just slide so as not to argue (what is the point of negativity after all) but she won’t,let things go! everything is “you did this” then silent treatment ensues, or loud crying from the bedroom, and she won’t give in. I make the choice to just give up and agree with her so not to continue a stressful situation. It’s not bad all the time, I love her dearly. But, sometimes she won’t talk about what’s upsetting her. It can be as simple as me not facing her while we sleep (sounds insane I know) or a lot more complex.
    I think my main problem is sometimes I feel like she is getting to be the way I was with an ex before I decided to end it. But, then, she says things like “promise you will never leave me”. How am I supposed to take that!? That end bit maybe my issue, maybe she is not feeling like I did back then, with my ex.
    I know there is a lot of info and a lot of things lacking that would give you more insight to this story. Give me advice please! As best you can.

  2. #2
    Gold Member LikeWater's Avatar
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    How long have you been together?

  3. #3
    Gold Member LikeWater's Avatar
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    Look, this seems like someone who uses their emotions as a way to get everything they want. You let all the things bothering you slide while she has a full on outburst over even the slightest thing that bothers her. It doesn't sound insane, it is insane, and she gets you to eventually bend your knee on every tiny issue. It's not about being insensitive or negative, it's about being real and honest.

    You can't resolve issues with someone if you can't have a simple talk about them. No one person is equipped to handle someone that has a full on tantrum over any weird thing they take issue with, but I honestly think she only does it because it works.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    She gets upset if you go to sleep without facing her??

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Too much speculation on our part. I think this could be an either/or situation like you've already stated above.

    The bottomline is: if someone isn't adding to your life in positive ways and draining you mentally and emotionally, this is not the right person for you. It's not a matter of who's more wrong than the other or who's the biggest baddie. You're just not getting along or compatible. Respect each other to walk away and resist playing the blame game.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    I do think there's a grain of truth in the emotional behavior being reinforced by you consistently giving in to avoid conflict, but I pretty much agree with Rose.

    Relationships should be enjoyable at the end of the day. Frequent or constant conflict is a sign that the two of you are incompatible for whatever reason. Ask yourself if you're generally happy with your girlfriend or if you're typically on edge and walking on eggshells to avoid another blow up. Instead of worrying about whether she is going to end it, you should be asking yourself if this relationship is adding to your life or subtracting from it.

  8. #7
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    She sounds like a manipulative, insecure, dramatic mess! I would wonder why you would continue with this toxic situation?

  9. #8
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    I truly believe that some women behave like this because the men in their lives (probably going back to their own fathers) don't have a ba**s to stand up for themselves, and essentially tell her to knock that sh** off. In their own words of course.

    Take for example, her whining because you don't face her while you sleep. Who the hell knows which way they're facing when they sleep- they're sleeping! Tell her that!

    And then her "promise you'll never leave me." Again, who the hell knows whether or not you'll ever leave her, SHE may leave you!! No one should make that type of promise, and no one should expect their partner to make that type of promise. You can tell her that too.

    Don't feed into it by coddling her, because when you do, you're actually fostering the very thing you dislike so much -- her continuing to manipulate you with these utterly ridiculous questions, that there are no real answers to.

    We teach people how to treat us!!

  10. #9
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mick92
    My girlfriend is too emotional sometimes. I feel like I’m either Insensitive or she is too emotional. I let a lot of things just slide so as not to argue (what is the point of negativity after all) but she won’t,let things go! everything is “you did this” then silent treatment ensues, or loud crying from the bedroom, and she won’t give in. I make the choice to just give up and agree with her so not to continue a stressful situation. It’s not bad all the time, I love her dearly. But, sometimes she won’t talk about what’s upsetting her. It can be as simple as me not facing her while we sleep (sounds insane I know) or a lot more complex.
    I think my main problem is sometimes I feel like she is getting to be the way I was with an ex before I decided to end it. But, then, she says things like “promise you will never leave me”. How am I supposed to take that!? That end bit maybe my issue, maybe she is not feeling like I did back then, with my ex.
    I know there is a lot of info and a lot of things lacking that would give you more insight to this story. Give me advice please! As best you can.
    How should you take her manipulative and needy behaviour? Set a boundary and stop people pleasing. It’s not helping either of you to keep giving in all the time.

  11. #10
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    I agree with Katrina.

    This is coming from someone who had only dated normal girls all his life, and finally ran into someone like this...and it turns out a lot of women are like this. So much so there are entire dating channels dedicated to dealing with this type of behavior. lol. It's so weird.

    Just educate yourself on this...it will not only save this relationship, but prepare you for all future relationships.

    The best advice I've read on this (and have applied it)...is to stand FIRM on things, and make it fun. Don't just stand your ground, but turn it into a game. See these actions as her way of seeing if you're strong enough to deal with her.

    There's also a crap ton of reasons why she might be acting like this too. But really...there is a TON of power in walking away. Once she sees you care more about yourself...and will leave, she'll have respect for you and knock it off. You have to realize that love doesn't hurt. It's not supposed to be drama filled or painful...or stressful. Once you know this, you can leave situations that make you feel bad. This is how to have healthy relationships.

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