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A guy i met online is travelling to meet up by train. He booked a hotel to stay at the city where i am in and he asked me to stay at the hotel room separately ( so he will book 2 rooms). Would this be safe ?

I talked to him on the phone several times in the past 4 weeks and he seems to be a nice guy but still i just need a second opinion. Many Thanks

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Five minutes ago you were posting about Mr. Ferrari, who freaked you out when he mentioned sex on a third date because you need to wait a good while in order to feel comfortable having sex.

 

Now you're wondering if meeting a guy at a hotel for your first date is "safe"? C'mon now. Regardless of this guy's intentions, which sound suspect enough, you know it's not emotionally safe for you.

 

Why even bother putting yourself in this situation?

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Oh no he is coming to meet up but his city is a train journey so he needs to stay at the hotel. We are going to spend time have food etc. Then he asked the question as he said he wanted to have the breakfast at the hotel with me .

He said he wanted to spend time another day with me too as he will be travelling quite far.

He will book 2 rooms at the hotel. I kinda feel it will be quite fun but definitely need to be safe....

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You can just as well meet him in the lobby of the hotel and dine at the restaurant there. Why do you need him to book a separate room for you? It seems a bit absurd. Any man in his right mind wouldn't do that for the right reasons. He sounds terribly fishy and I would suggest you meet him in a public restaurant and dine there.

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Five minutes ago you were posting about Mr. Ferrari, who freaked you out when he mentioned sex on a third date because you need to wait a good while in order to feel comfortable having sex.

 

Now you're wondering if meeting a guy at a hotel for your first date is "safe"? C'mon now. Regardless of this guy's intentions, which sound suspect enough, you know it's not emotionally safe for you.

 

Why even bother putting yourself in this situation?

 

I agree. At least you are asking this time OP before making a decision.

 

For future reference... do not meet some guy for the first time in a hotel room, at your place, at his place, or any secluded place. Always meet in a public place until you get to know them better and always tell someone where you will be and when. I used to have a code with friends as a signal for them to call me if the date was going sideways. :p

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I would book the room myself so he doesn’t know the room number and tell the front desk not to give your room number to anyone else.

 

I know, if he books the room then it means he has the right to ask at the desk for maybe the lost of key and try to get into the room ( just in case for the worst case scenario ) , but i dont think he is that bad though always prepare for the worst....

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Not sure if you are trolling but come on, a guy you met online wants to book a room for the first meet and you are wondering what that's about?

A guy i met online is travelling to meet up by train. He booked a hotel to stay at the city where i am in and he asked me to stay at the hotel room separately.
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A guy i met online is travelling to meet up by train. He booked a hotel to stay at the city where i am in and he asked me to stay at the hotel room separately ( so he will book 2 rooms). Would this be safe ?

I talked to him on the phone several times in the past 4 weeks and he seems to be a nice guy but still i just need a second opinion. Many Thanks

 

If he books both rooms, what's to stop him from getting a second key to your room? No, I don't think this is safe. If you must stay overnight in this hotel, book your own room.

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I know, if he books the room then it means he has the right to ask at the desk for maybe the lost of key and try to get into the room ( just in case for the worst case scenario ) , but i dont think he is that bad though always prepare for the worst....

 

Yes, don't be a fool. Take some responsibility for your own safety.

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If he books both rooms, what's to stop him from getting a second key to your room? No, I don't think this is safe. If you must stay overnight in this hotel, book your own room.

 

Thank you. Definitely, i didn't think of this at first and then i called my friend who said the same thing.

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And when you turn up he will say only one room was left but it’s cool, there are seperate beds lol

 

Don’t you work? Can’t you pay for your transport to and from the city?

 

Awww but he wants to have breakfast with you? Too bad buddy!

You are only free the eve before to meet in a public place?

If he wants to travel to your city for a 2 hr meet , let him! You don’t owe him a breakfast meet because he travelled so far!!!

 

Let him arrange a breakfast meet with another girl in your city if he wants to make it worth his while.

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That wasn’t my experience and I corresponded with hundreds of men and out of the over 100 I met in person a few ended up only wanting sex. Several of my friends met their spouses and partners through online sites - one got married a year ago and met him about two years ago.

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And when you turn up he will say only one room was left but it’s cool, there are seperate beds lol

 

Don’t you work? Can’t you pay for your transport to and from the city?

 

Awww but he wants to have breakfast with you? Too bad buddy!

You are only free the eve before to meet in a public place?

If he wants to travel to your city for a 2 hr meet , let him! You don’t owe him a breakfast meet because he travelled so far!!!

 

Let him arrange a breakfast meet with another girl in your city if he wants to make it worth his while.

 

 

I will drive to meet him.

As to the hotel topic is the request from him. I dont need to stay in a hotel, but he wants to have breakfast with me at the hotel.

He seems to make an effort so i said yes at first but already told him i cant.

Thank you :-)

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That wasn’t my experience and I corresponded with hundreds of men and out of the over 100 I met in person a few ended up only wanting sex. Several of my friends met their spouses and partners through online sites - one got married a year ago and met him about two years ago.

 

Oh wow! thank you for giving me hope. What site is that? please share :-) I might be on the wrong site....

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I come to realization that most people online dating look for sex only which is the sad truth. Even those who you expect them to have good morals.... cant judge the book by it's cover!

 

Narrow your scope to local men who can quick-meet for a cup of coffee on your way home from work to check one another out--15 to 30 minutes max. Rules are that neither can corner the other for a real date on the spot, but either can message the other with an invite afterward. If the answer is yes, the other responds, and if not, then no response is necessary.

 

Use quick meets to screen out bad matches. Discuss what you are looking for and whether he's looking for the same. See if there's chemistry. Most people are NOT our match, so set up many quick meets instead of investing in full dates. Full dates are exhausting, and it have you spending too much time with people who you could have otherwise known in 5 minutes were not a good match for you.

 

Head high, and skip the long distance travel stuff to meet strangers.

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I come to realization that most people online dating look for sex only which is the sad truth. Even those who you expect them to have good morals.... cant judge the book by it's cover!

 

Nope. If you keep finding yourself in this position your date picker is broke. I'm sure it happens a lot, but not most. It's like saying most women just want money.... etc. etc.

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I come to realization that most people online dating look for sex only which is the sad truth. Even those who you expect them to have good morals.... cant judge the book by it's cover!

 

Getting a better date picker as posters mentioned above is an important skill that will help you whatever site you use, or even if you meet people irl that you want to date. And it's probably where you should invest the most at this time.

 

That said, every dating app has a slightly different community, and this varies per region as well. Give a few of the other apps a try if you are only using one. In my area I've found coffee meets bagel to have the best results overall, have found a few close matches over the years on okcupid, and then tinder and plenty of fish have been very poor. But how good the pool is on a given site is going to be different for each area. And then I guess it would even depend on what you are looking for. For instance I prefer to date christians like myself, religion on tinder is less prominent so it has been harder to find my matches there.

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Nope. If you keep finding yourself in this position your date picker is broke. I'm sure it happens a lot, but not most. It's like saying most women just want money.... etc. etc.

 

Yep. Use the apps to screen potential matches, then schedule a quick meet as early as possible. Don't build fantasies over false 'relationships' with people online. There's nothing 'real' about them until you meet them.

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Wait, you have to ask this wuestion here to get a logical answer. I'm worried about your safety OP if you were actually considering this.

What if this person is involved in sex trafficking? C'mon.

 

Apparently he missed the train so he will have to arrange this again. Thanks , yes prepare for the worst :-)

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