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Thread: So, what happens now...? /:

  1. #1

    So, what happens now...? /:

    Hi, so, I don't know what to do about this girl now. I am confused!
    I'm letting you know how we met and what has happened.

    - Background:

    I met this girl a month ago on a bureaucratic matter, and it was great!
    So, I was at this place in the morning, filling a form to do administrative matters.
    While I was writing stuff I heard her asking me for a pen, I had 2 so I gave her one.
    She was standing next to me on this big table. When she finished she gave it back and wished me luck.
    I said "Thank you! You too!". I finished a couple of minutes later and went to the bank to pay this thing.
    I saw her there too, she saw me and looked down. I didn't mind, I was there to pay.

    I went back to the building to give my documents and the payment, but I had to wait in a really long line.
    She was there too, again. There was a couple of girls and a guy behind her, and then me.
    The guy was taking pictures of the girls walking by and on the line, taking "ass pics", that was awkward.
    So, I started laughin. I couldn't help it. I was trying to let her know the situation, I didn't knew what to do.
    He tried talking to her but she didn't payed him any attention.
    So this guy starts talking to me instead and minutes later, we're talking about music, work, and nonsense.

    After doing this procedure, I was walking out of the building to call my dad to tell him that I was gonna have to wait to get this thing done, and Ö She talked to me!!!
    I could not believe it! I still can't. She was infront of me and she talked to me. She asked me "Hey, umm are you gonna be around here for a while? I mean, I will, but it would be nice to have some company, would you like to go for a walk with me?", Yes, this happened!

    I couldn't believe it! I thought she was trying to kidnap me or something.
    So, I said "Yeah, why not?", I introduced myself and so did she.
    We walked out of the bulding and went downtown talking about us.
    I got to spent 5 hours with her. 5 HOURS! That's insane! We talked about everything!

    She told me that she was from another state, and that she's been living in the city for a couple of years.
    Talked about her job, family, friends, dreams, pets, weather, stories from her childhood, she didn't have a ring on her,
    although she didn't mention a boyfriend or girlfriend. She also told me where she lives and her daily Schedule.
    At the end of the day, we had our documents handed to us and she gave me a ride to a subway station.
    I asked for her phone # and her full name. And, she gave them to me!
    I've never done anything like this before, so that's why I'm here asking for advice.

    I've been thinking, I don't know, maybe she is like that with everybody, so I don't want to get my hopes up.
    I asked her out, she said "Yeah! Just, give me a couple of weeks (because of her job) and I'll give you a date".
    We also talked about selling some stuff of hers on the internet that she didn't knew what to do with those things,
    so I use that too to ask for her phone number.
    She touched her hair all the time, laughed really loud and even got a Little red on her face a couple of times, she touched my hands many times. I'm still in shock! This kind of stuff never happens to me. That's why I'm here writing this.

    - Recentely:

    So, I decided to text her. Everytime I text her, she does respond. Which is cool, I was afraid of being blocked right away.
    She asked for my last name so she could add me on her contact list and then I ask her about her day.
    She wrote something like "Hey! I've been working, like I told you." She uses emojis, and " ! " or " ? ". Normal, right?

    So, one day I ask her out and she says:
    - "It's OK. I' working on something right now and I'm going to this place next month, and I was thinking, why don't you come with me?"
    We agreed on the day and time, she mentioned something about reminding me know a couple of days before the day came.
    And then, after a couple of weeks ago she texts me this at night:
    - "Hi! (my name) I offer you an apology, I'm checking out my schedule and
    I'm realising that I'm not gonna be able to make it that day, I'm letting you know
    because I don't want to waste your time and so you can do what you told me. Good night!"

    I told her it was ok, that I was in no hurry and that we could go out later.
    So, I decided to ask her to be friends on Facebook, and she told me this:
    - "Thank you. About Facebook, I do have a profile and I know that nowadays people add each other
    without thinking too much, but it's an access and a big view into my private life.
    Even though I think you're nice, I've just seen you once.
    I hope I'm not being rude, it's not my intention, I just want to be honest.
    Sorry to hear about your project, good luck on the next one!".

    So, I told her that I understood, that I respected that and that it was Ok.
    She just said "Thank you. Good afternon!".
    I haven't replied anything. Not planning to. Don't know, I honestly thought that we, at least, were gonna be friends.
    So, that happened in one month. Give or take. Am I missing something here? What am I not seeing? Am I right? Am I getting ahead of myself?
    I'm 50/50 on this one, because a part of me is telling me that she isn't interested in anything, at all.
    But, the other part of me is saying that she just wants to be friends, but it's gonna take some time.

    So, I don't know. Even my friends are divided (mostly girls). Some are mad at her because of how she was with me when we first met, all the hair and hand touching, all the stuff we talked and now this! I honestly felt chemistry between us, I made her laugh a lot, she got red on her face twice.
    Some say that she's nice and that I should give her more time and stuff. Like "not letting go" kinda thing. I'm not sure. Is waiting an option?
    If this is "it", like, if I'm never gonna see her ever again, it's ok, I don't feel "bad", although it's a shame.
    I don't want to keep texting her, I don't want to be "that" guy, you know? That's why I'm here asking for your advice.
    Last time I got a number from a girl, she blocked me with the first "Hi!" text. It hurt me really bad. Because she gave it to me smiling.
    And this new girl was different. But now, this! That day, it was awesome and now I am really confused.
    I'm thinking if I did something wrong, or am I seeing this the other way around. Should I wait and see if I get blocked?
    Maybe she wants to be friends, but, I don't know, it's really, really confusing.
    I honestly do not know. I hope you can help me out with this doubt.

    Anyway, thank you so much for your time and for reading!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    No one needs a last name to add someone to their contacts.
    So Iím not sure what thatís about. Maybe she wanted to check out your social media before deciding on meeting you again?
    I donít know.

    But it doesnít really matter.
    What matters is at this point she doesnít seem interested , it might have nothing to do with you.
    Maybe she was going through a bad patch and made up with an ex.
    Maybe she met someone recently.

    Or maybe she was never interested but now senses you are and has politely stepped back.

    Donít waste your time analysing it.
    You will likely come up with the wrong conclusion anyway.

    Just delete her contact.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    I agree with Billie. For whatever reason, she doesnít seem interested now. I donít see why any of your friends would be ďmadĒ at her; you donít know the woman and she doesnít owe you anything. Sheís free to change her mind, and it appears she has.

    It might have nothing to do with you personally. There are too many variables to guess what it might be. I do agree with her that adding someone you barely know on social media is too much, though. Next time, wait to do so until you get to know the person.

    Iíd just let it go. Youíll hear from her if she wants to see you. If she doesnít, no big loss.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    I haven't replied anything. Not planning to. Don't know, I honestly thought that we, at least, were gonna be friends.
    So, that happened in one month. Give or take. Am I missing something here? What am I not seeing? Am I right? Am I getting ahead of myself?
    I'm 50/50 on this one, because a part of me is telling me that she isn't interested in anything, at all.
    But, the other part of me is saying that she just wants to be friends, but it's gonna take some time.
    It could be any of these things OP... what's important is whether or not this behavior matches what you want from a partner. Your relationship goals need to be your guide vs. the lure of a pretty face and the promise of regular sex.


  6. #5
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    British Columbia, Canada
    She's not interested in you. Sorry. The first day when you met was just friendly and perhaps a bit of flirting but she's really not interested in dating you at all. Perhaps you were interesting to start with but your vibe wasn't meshing with hers later on. I wouldn't take it seriously but you should get over her. This is not the right girl for you. Do not text her again and don't add her anywhere on social media. The signs are pretty clear. Move on.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    You're not missing anything. People lose interest all the time for many reasons. A couple of things. When a woman cancels and doesn't offer to reschedule that means she's lost interest. If you act like you don't deserve to be with a particular woman, she'll believe you. Put more value and faith in yourself and work on your confidence.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    What a fun experience, randomly meeting someone and having a good time on the first day! Like most first meets, there wasn't any follow through. Whatever excitement had been there was gone. The same thing happens on 1st dates. It seems good and exciting in the moment, but then after distance one or the other party decides they don't want to pursue it.

    I would feel good about myself for being able to attract a girl in a situation like this, and take that confidence into the next experience. Good luck!

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