PJM Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 (We can talk but on a professional level. Advice is always ok” ) This was from my now ex ( we work together) to which my reply was : ....You know I have been thinking about the damage I have caused and your supervisors advice to stay away and be professional. I think it’s best for me not to approach you for any advice too ... that way it will be only professional . And I will stay out of your way completely. Hopefully I can find some thing else and you don’t have to see me any more . Hopefully that happens soon . Than you can work in peace . Just praying for that-- I can always get advice from some where else . I have faith that divine will send the information when I need it . Have lived on that faith . Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 Leave it alone. Just get space. Time and distance, stop trying to figure him out human beings aren’t math equations, stop trying to fix it, just get space and distance so you both can see more clearly. Link to comment
Clio Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 No, it doesn't seem punishing. It seems long-winded and unnecessary though. There was no need to reply to his message at all. The mere action of not approaching him from advice would have been enough. I would leave it at that and move on. Link to comment
Billie28 Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 (We can talk but on a professional level. Advice is always ok” ) This was from my now ex ( we work together) to which my reply was : ....You know I have been thinking about the damage I have caused and your supervisors advice to stay away and be professional. I think it’s best for me not to approach you for any advice too ... that way it will be only professional . And I will stay out of your way completely. Hopefully I can find some thing else and you don’t have to see me any more . Hopefully that happens soon . Than you can work in peace . Just praying for that-- I can always get advice from some where else . I have faith that divine will send the information when I need it . Have lived on that faith . No it’s not punishing but it screams desperation from you . You texted him and he didn’t reply. So now you resort to sending what you think will appear as a professional message , just to hear back from him??? And you take blame for the fact that you both had consensual sex and now looking for a job elsewhere to save his reputation?? Yesterday you called him your bf, today you call him your ex. He was never your bf and he will never be your ex. He is just a guy at work you had a fling with. Stop contacting him and making matters worse. Link to comment
PJM Posted June 3, 2019 Author Share Posted June 3, 2019 Leave it alone. Just get space. Time and distance, stop trying to figure him out human beings aren’t math equations, stop trying to fix it, just get space and distance so you both can see more clearly. Yes will do . Already on no contact phase . Thank you Link to comment
PJM Posted June 3, 2019 Author Share Posted June 3, 2019 No, it doesn't seem punishing. It seems long-winded and unnecessary though. There was no need to reply to his message at all. The mere action of not approaching him from advice would have been enough. I would leave it at that and move on. Yes I agree . Thank you Link to comment
PJM Posted June 3, 2019 Author Share Posted June 3, 2019 No it’s not punishing but it screams desperation from you . You texted him and he didn’t reply. So now you resort to sending what you think will appear as a professional message , just to hear back from him??? And you take blame for the fact that you both had consensual sex and now looking for a job elsewhere to save his reputation?? Yesterday you called him your bf, today you call him your ex. He was never your bf and he will never be your ex. He is just a guy at work you had a fling with. Stop contacting him and making matters worse. Hello , I did not send this message today . It was a week ago. I am “ LEAVING HIM ALONE “ right now . It’s been over a week . Thanks for the reply any way . Link to comment
Billie28 Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 Hello , I did not send this message today . It was a week ago. I am “ LEAVING HIM ALONE “ right now . It’s been over a week . Thanks for the reply any way . Then why post about your reply today after omitting it from your post yesterday? And only today on your other thread you said you had texted him. Something isn’t adding up Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 Ignore back-handed manipulative messages such as this. Make sure you shut down his access to any of your social media and messaging apps that are not specific to work. Link to comment
Billie28 Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 Ignore messages where people have not understood that you are the one creating contact and therefore blocking is not required. Just stop contacting him. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 You didn't need to reply to his message at all (imo). Your reply was totally unnecessary, long-winded and filled with drama which makes you come across as pathetic and desperate. Just go NC and stay NC. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 You're trying all these tactics to try to get him re-interested in you. It looks really obvious. These tactics do not make you look attractive to him, but rather the opposite. Hopefully you intend to move on from this. Link to comment
maew Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 (We can talk but on a professional level. Advice is always ok” ) This was from my now ex ( we work together) to which my reply was : ....You know I have been thinking about the damage I have caused and your supervisors advice to stay away and be professional. I think it’s best for me not to approach you for any advice too ... that way it will be only professional . And I will stay out of your way completely. Hopefully I can find some thing else and you don’t have to see me any more . Hopefully that happens soon . Than you can work in peace . Just praying for that-- I can always get advice from some where else . I have faith that divine will send the information when I need it . Have lived on that faith . Punishing = no. Passive-aggressive martyrdom ("a display of feigned or exaggerated suffering to obtain sympathy or admiration") = yes. Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 Hello , I did not send this message today . It was a week ago. I am “ LEAVING HIM ALONE “ right now . It’s been over a week . Thanks for the reply any way . Wait, why would you be asking advice over something you did over a week ago? NC for a week and you’re asking is to help you obsess over an email you sent? Nooooo. Stop. Leave.it.alone. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 I think that you should focus on your job and divorce, and forget about the player. Link to comment
PJM Posted June 3, 2019 Author Share Posted June 3, 2019 I think that you should focus on your job and divorce, and forget about the player. Yes that is what I have decided. Thank you for responding. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 Why did a supervisor get involved? Link to comment
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