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Thread: Agreed to date, now what

  1. #1
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    Agreed to date, now what

    Hello,
    Somebody texted me from an online dating app and we decided to see each other on a particular day. Still not hour and place. Now after according the date I am feeling weird to continue conversation by texting, like I lose texting attraction because I know it will be better to talk to him in person. I am kind of skipping texting, but as there are so many days till the date day we may lose interest in each other if we don't keep in contact by texting or is it right to call it ended and wait till the date?
    I have so many questions and I am very curious about him as the only thing I know is the profession, where he lives and age, but for me the purpose of texting is only to agree for a date, as I may be disappointed if I keep imagining somebody without seeing him. Do you think it is right to not keep in touch until the day of date, even if we don't know each other and don't have a hour or place or continue meanwhile to get a better idea of him?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Cope's Avatar
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    Honestly, I text them a lot before meeting up to feel them out, be as sure as I can be that they're safe and also make sure I'll at least have a nice time on the actual date. Just try not to fantasize a lot about him.

  3. #3
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    I think that's weird too, but that's just me. When you meet someone you like, even if online and you don't know them...how do you not want to keep talking and joking around with them? :-)

    That said - it's man games 101 to set a date and do NOT keep texting. It opens you up to saying the wrong thing and turning you off. Plus this builds attractions...because you're thinking about him...and obsessing...which it sounds like you are. These are dating games - they suck, but they work :-) Next will be him ending the date early lol...

  4. #4
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    I try to get basic information either on the app or via text, and then set a date in person as soon as possible. I am not motivated to text a stranger that I am not even sure I will be attracted to in person. I have online dated for awhile, and I can say with certainty that other than learning simple facts about the person, such as what they do for work or enjoyment, you cannot discern if someone is right for you over text.

    It's always nice to have a few interactions back in forth if they seem interested in that, and to let them know you aren't big on texting if you prefer to just wait until the meeting in order to be polite, however. I also make sure there is some confirmation text that the date is still on, so the person knows I am not standing them up.

    At the end of the day, the point of dating is to find people who have a similar communication style and set of values as you. Just be yourself, and if the other person has an issue with that, it's a pretty good indication you aren't a match.

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  6. #5
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    And if they give you their phone number so that we move to whatsapp before having first date? Im not comfortable with that.

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by SGH
    I try to get basic information either on the app or via text, and then set a date in person as soon as possible. I am not motivated to text a stranger that I am not even sure I will be attracted to in person. I have online dated for awhile, and I can say with certainty that other than learning simple facts about the person, such as what they do for work or enjoyment, you cannot discern if someone is right for you over text.

    It's always nice to have a few interactions back in forth if they seem interested in that, and to let them know you aren't big on texting if you prefer to just wait until the meeting in order to be polite, however. I also make sure there is some confirmation text that the date is still on, so the person knows I am not standing them up.

    At the end of the day, the point of dating is to find people who have a similar communication style and set of values as you. Just be yourself, and if the other person has an issue with that, it's a pretty good indication you aren't a match.
    Should we move to whatsapp before first date?

  8. #7
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by score123
    And if they give you their phone number so that we move to whatsapp before having first date? Im not comfortable with that.
    Directly state that you are not comfortable with giving out personal information, such as a phone number, before having the first date. Simple as that. Enforce your boundaries and let people do what they will. If the person backs off or is no longer interested, you then know you are incompatible.

  9. #8
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    How far off is the date?

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Text about confirming a meet. If he is just texting and not planning to meet or stalling put him on the back burner. You're right that building rapport should be in person and texting endlessly with someone you haven't met and doesn't have a specific plan is a waste of time.
    Originally Posted by score123
    we decided to see each other on a particular day. Still not hour and place.

  11. #10
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    A dating app should be a way to widen the dating pool by meeting new people. That's it. Then it is the usual way. So the sooner you can meet, the better. If you haven't learned it already, how someone looks in a few pictures or the sentences they string together in whatever written form, are often not how they are in person. And shockingly, sometimes they aren't interested in you after meeting.

    It is helpful not to latch onto one person. It is also helpful not to keep communicating until you meet. And make it a quick meet in a public place. Nothing worse than realizing in the first five minutes that you aren't into this person but there is a long day planned. So to answer your question, it is best to use the texting to set a time and place (you can suggest these, too), and leave the getting-to-know-you questions for the coffee time.


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