Confused about ex who I share a daughter with

Hello, first time posting in a forum like this so apologies if it's in the wrong section. At the start of this year I split with my girlfriend of six years whom I share a 2 year old daughter with. Several weeks after prior to moving out she started seeing someone else in secret, I found out after a further two weeks and that led to her moving out in a hurry as expected. She's still seeing her new boyfriend, but doesn't seem like it's very serious yet. Up until about a week or two she was acting very unpleasant towards me, basically having no communication besides things related to our child and being very argumentative and nasty when we have spoken basically saying she wishes she didn't have a kid with me and blaming me for everything that went wrong between us etc... In the past week or two she's started to seem very different, every time we see each other to pick up our daughter from one and other she seems incredibly sad and won't make eye contact with me and is being very polite and civil. Not sure if this is the right forum to ask about psychology but I just feel very confused and wonder why she's suddenly started to seem really upset when she's around me. Not sure if she's starting to regret what happened, or if the memories she has just hurt her? I've just struggled a lot through this as my young daughter is in the middle of it and just wonder if anyone could give me an insight into why she's started to act like this? Thanks a lot.

I'm confused. Did you live together after the split, but when you found out she was dating someone you forced her to move out?

Yeah we split up, I own the house and said she can stay for as long as she wants as we have a kid. Then I found out she started seeing somebody else via one of her friends (very shortly after we split up, although I know it didn't start whilst we were together), and told her she had to leave as soon as she could. And she moved out a couple of weeks afterwards with her grandparents.

Ok. Thanks.

Are you entertaining hopes of getting back together? Was it a mutual split or did you or she ask for it?

I'm not sure why you would care one way or the other about her moods unless you want to get back with her. And how exactly do you know that she doesn't seem like it's serious with her new boyfriend? Do you really think she's going to confide all of her intimacies with you?

If you're truly interested in why she's acting the way she is, the only way to find out is to ask her the next time you see her.

If I'm honest I suppose I am. As far as her new relationship I've talked to her family a lot about how she's doing and stuff, and they're not very keen on him and seem to think it isn't a very good relationship and think he took advantage of her feeling lonely when we split up. And I have tried to talk to her and ask if she's okay, she just looks down at the floor and says she is but knowing her quite well I can tell somethings not right. And I only care as obviously she's the mother of my child and from what I got from talking to her and what her family have said to her she doesn't seem to be doing very well. And the split was mutual, although I think she was more unhappy than I was. Thanks.

Just an aside. Does she work? And have you seen a judge about child custody? You're tied to her for the next several years.

Also, I wouldn't put much stock in what her family says, either. The bottom line is that you have no idea how her new relationship is. Maybe at some point in the future, she'll be willing to confide in you about her life.

She works a little bit but doesn't earn a lot of money, we've sorted child custody between us and I give her frequent payments and have told her if she needs money for anything beyond that I'm happy to help her although she turns it down even though she is struggling. And yeah I suppose. Thanks a lot.

I'm going to guess things got rocky with the new guy.

I do give her credit for not trying to lure you back in, though.

She works a little bit but doesn't earn a lot of money, we've sorted child custody between us and I give her frequent payments and have told her if she needs money for anything beyond that I'm happy to help her although she turns it down even though she is struggling. And yeah I suppose. Thanks a lot.

Also, be sure to get a child support agreement filed in court. That way if things ever go REALLY bad she can't claim you never gave her any money for the child.

Yeah thanks, I've got all the bank statements for when I've given her money.

Not sure if this is the right forum to ask about psychology but I just feel very confused and wonder why she's suddenly started to seem really upset when she's around me. Not sure if she's starting to regret what happened, or if the memories she has just hurt her? I've just struggled a lot through this as my young daughter is in the middle of it and just wonder if anyone could give me an insight into why she's started to act like this? Thanks a lot.

I think its basic logic that none of us could possibly know whats going on in her head based on a paragraph, so what youre actually asking us to do is give you hope because the hope you have is kinda waning, its not enough so you need others to kinda boost it by confirming what you already believe.

The truth is insight is the last thing you need.

You broke up with her so she didn't start seeing someone in secret, you broke up with her, she doesnt owe you anything after that especially knowledge of her dating life. If shes spinning out of control it is only your concern if it is affecting your daughter. Rebounding doesn't count...

You cant expect an ex to treat you the same as when you were in a relationship, its not the same.

My question to you what do you really want ? Its easier to give advice if you dont try to backdoor things.

You need to go through the courts.

Why did you end the relationship?

If you feel close enough to your ex, have a lot of compassion regarding her personal life. Then ask her what is bothering her or what is on her mind in in a caring way. If you feel that she doesn't want to get personal with you since you're now her ex-boyfriend, give her all the time and space she desires. A lot of people don't wish to share minutiae with you regarding their thoughts, personal life and whatever is bothering them. A lot of people are very private people and you need to respect that.

Just remain respectful, natural and kind. You can't force people to confide in you. Remain patient. She may never reveal whatever is causing her angst or someday she will, who knows?

In the meantime, focus on being a good father to your toddler daughter and it's all you can do. Be civil to the mother of your child and act natural. Don't pry either. Just hang back, focus on being respectful and it's all you can do.

Yeah I suppose no one can really judge what someone they don't know is thinking via a paragraph. Only say in secret because we both had an agreement not to see anyone else whilst we lived together so it didn't get ugly for our daughter. Thanks.