Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: " Confused by this message " What does it exactly mean ?

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    43

    " Confused by this message " What does it exactly mean ?

    Long story short:

    Please don't associate this message with earlier post I posted. I had understood it wrong earlier. Bottom line, did a big mistake by involving work with relationship which got escalated to his supervisors, which he is still pissed. Last time I asked if we could have an honest face to face conversation, ( we haven't really spoken one on one as he is observing ramadan ) this is message I got from : saying the situation is still "volatile"

    This is the message I got from my bf:

    " said it’s volatile as if you remember my supervisors called me about all this - they advised me to stay out and remain neutral - meaning only speak on professional terms. So with that advisement I’m allowing time to go by so the bs ends-"

    " By BS means one of the jealous colleague passed a rumor that we are dating and sleeping together " me being is very high position as a (Provider /physician ) and he being in the law enforcement and we work together . We had very intense /intimate connection at every level for 3 months before his work got involved .

    So does this mean that he is just waiting for the rumors to slow down as time passes by or is he breaking up ? is there a chance for us to start on fresh?

    Any feedback is highly appreciated as we both were deeply connected , had an amazing time together until my trust was little shaken by previous work rumors and I started digging about him , instead of trusting him ( very insecure and foolish on my end ) and definitely don't want to end because of a jealous /insecure colleague . Thank you .

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    9,332
    OP, I think posters are going to have to read your previous threads about this to have any idea what you're talking about in this one.

    As I understand, you are colleagues who dated for a couple months and you started hearing about how he's dated another colleague as well. Upon asking for more information, word got out that you two were seeing each other and he wasn't happy about it.

    I don't think anything has really changed since your other threads, to be honest. He doesn't seem interested in rekindling this, both for professional and personal reasons. I would leave him be and not reach out anymore.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    1,581
    Why are you referring to him as your bf when he clearly is not?

    And why are you accusing people of spreading rumours about you seeing/sleeping with him when they are not rumours but actually the truth and the truth that YOU passed on?

    His message is basically saying that he will have sex with you in the future once people stop suspecting or realising it and once you agree to do it without letting anyone know and agree to it being sex only.That is ALL he wants from you.

    Since you refer to him as your bf , clearly you are not on the same page as him.

    He is not breaking up with you. You were never together anyway. He is simply saying no more sex because he doesn’t want anyone to associate him with you. The risk is too high for him.

    But when the risk is low, he will be ok with being your booty call.

  4. #4
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    43
    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    OP, I think posters are going to have to read your previous threads about this to have any idea what you're talking about in this one.

    As I understand, you are colleagues who dated for a couple months and you started hearing about how he's dated another colleague as well. Upon asking for more information, word got out that you two were seeing each other and he wasn't happy about it.

    I don't think anything has really changed since your other threads, to be honest. He doesn't seem interested in rekindling this, both for professional and personal reasons. I would leave him be and not reach out anymore.

    I appreciate your reply. Well I don't think he really dated her but any ways does not matter. Past is past. Yes may be you are right and does not seem to rekindle this . I haven't initiated any contact but what is confusing me is when he sees me in Cafeteria , he comes very close and talks . Also my communication with him is only professional . We have to work together , but some times I get some flirty texts and looks from him so I am confused .

    I am still attached to him but working on myself to " completely leave him alone" and may be finding another job as its too painful for me right now but difficult when you work together and have to see each other some times . These mixed signals are confusing me Thanks for the response any way , I will leave him alone . If something is there and can be rekindled, only time will tell. Thank you

  5.  

  6. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    43
    Originally Posted by Billie28
    Why are you referring to him as your bf when he clearly is not?

    And why are you accusing people of spreading rumours about you seeing/sleeping with him when they are not rumours but actually the truth and the truth that YOU passed on?

    His message is basically saying that he will have sex with you in the future once people stop suspecting or realising it and once you agree to do it without letting anyone know and agree to it being sex only.That is ALL he wants from you.

    Since you refer to him as your bf , clearly you are not on the same page as him.

    He is not breaking up with you. You were never together anyway. He is simply saying no more sex because he doesn’t want anyone to associate him with you. The risk is too high for him.

    But when the risk is low, he will be ok with being your booty call.
    Please don't accuse if you are not clear of what happened. " I " did not pass these rumors. I happened to ask about him to one of my colleague trusting her ( she has been there for 3 yrs )and she spread it behind my back. Also told me that she saw a him giving a " hug" to one of this other girl and put a seed of doubt in me . That is why I started "digging more " ( again my fault) and every thing went down hill. And why do you say that he just wants " sex" ? We were emotionally connected too very strongly . And expressed to me that he deeply cared and was invested but this work situation and " ramadan" and also me asking for space put every thing on pause initially then on negative spiral . I can understand his frustration , but if it were just " sex" it did start with with couple of dates and then we got intimate , I would not have pursued it further and it was very clear to both of us that it was just not that . Although when it lead to physical intimacy, it was mind blowing and we both enjoyed it. Any ways thank you for taking time and replying . Appreciate it.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    9,332
    Originally Posted by PJM
    We have to work together , but some times I get some flirty texts and looks from him so I am confused .
    What sort of texts does he send you?

  8. #7
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    43
    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    What sort of texts does he send you?
    Texts like “ You look good “ “ Have you lost weight “ if you have lost than please keep on loosing “ “ nice walk “ stuff like that ... How does it matter to him if I loose weight or not . Before Ramadan started he used to text me “ I feel jealous that he is looking at you “ . It reduced a lot after Ramadan started but still these texts are confusing me

  9. #8
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    43
    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    What sort of texts does he send you?
    Also yesterday, I texted him after some of his texts if he is working today. Did not reply for that. Tomorrow is Eid , initially I thought of wishing him , but now wondering if I shoulder not. Please advice me . "Thanks "

  10. #9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    1,581
    Originally Posted by PJM
    Please don't accuse if you are not clear of what happened. " I " did not pass these rumors. I happened to ask about him to one of my colleague trusting her ( she has been there for 3 yrs )and she spread it behind my back. Also told me that she saw a him giving a " hug" to one of this other girl and put a seed of doubt in me . That is why I started "digging more " ( again my fault) and every thing went down hill. And why do you say that he just wants " sex" ? We were emotionally connected too very strongly . And expressed to me that he deeply cared and was invested but this work situation and " ramadan" and also me asking for space put every thing on pause initially then on negative spiral . I can understand his frustration , but if it were just " sex" it did start with with couple of dates and then we got intimate , I would not have pursued it further and it was very clear to both of us that it was just not that . Although when it lead to physical intimacy, it was mind blowing and we both enjoyed it. Any ways thank you for taking time and replying . Appreciate it.
    My point being there were no rumours. Just the truth.
    You were in fact seeing / sleeping with him. If you were not then and only then is it a rumour.

    Of course it’s about sex. He didn’t even have to put much effort in to get it either. Just a few sweet lies and a couple of dates.

    He wanted it kept secret because it’s only sex no matter what he tells you and his message says that all over it.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    1,581
    Originally Posted by PJM
    Texts like “ You look good “ “ Have you lost weight “ if you have lost than please keep on loosing “ “ nice walk “ stuff like that ... How does it matter to him if I loose weight or not . Before Ramadan started he used to text me “ I feel jealous that he is looking at you “ . It reduced a lot after Ramadan started but still these texts are confusing me
    Wow. What an he is!
    Keep on losing weight?!?

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •