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Thread: is it normal for girls to do bad things after a breakup?

  1. #1
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    is it normal for girls to do bad things after a breakup?

    I am sophomore in highschool. There is this girl ive been interested for awhile. A long time ago she was going through some troubles with her boyfriend about a year into the relationship and she started showing some interest in me. We sat beside each other the entire semester and she showed signs of interest, they were absolutely there. I never reciprocated this flirting because she had a boyfriend and I did not want to put her in a bad situation. At the time i didnt know that she was going through a rough time with her boyfriend.

    Now, it is a year later and she broke up with her boyfriend 2 weeks ago. I have talked to her friends and ive heard she gets drunk and calls him all the time and wants him back. I have also heard she is trying to get with other guys, and her friends suspect she is doing it to make her ex boyfriend jealous. Now she is showing signs of interest again but after just hearing about this from her friends, I am very suspicious she plans to use me. Obviously this is mainly speculation, and I could be totally wrong. The only way to find out is to talk to her. However, I am not sure whether I should fell disgusted that she would try to use other guys to make her boyfriend jealous, or if I should feel sympathy for her because she is going through a rough time. She was with this guy for 3 years, they went on vacations and stuff. I have no real dating experience so I am not sure if this is normal for someone going through a breakup, and is there any chance that me and her could workout. Should I protect myself and move on? I've known her for awhile and moving on is going to be really hard.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Yes, protect yourself and move on.

    It definitely sounds like she is trying to get others boys' attention in order to make her ex boyfriend jealous. 3 years is a long time. She isn't going to be over him for a long time, despite what she might say.

    It's only been 2 weeks and there's a good chance they will get back together. Let it be, consider being with her possibly in 6 months if they are still broken up and if she is still interested in you.

    But 2 weeks is nothing and she is still emotionally attached to her boyfriend.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    By the way, her getting drunk and calling him up is a huge sign that she still loves him and wants him back.

    Should you feel sympathy? I'm not sure you should be feeling anything as it's not really a situation that involves you.

    You know this girl, but you aren't good friends with her and you didn't date.

    For now, you should just focus on your own life and wish her well but leave it at that.

  4. #4
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    Well, to be fair, it is not unusual for youngsters in general to behave this way after an unwanted break-up. It's a reflection of the maturity level, not the gender.

    But yes, you should keep your distance. She isn't in a position to date anyone else yet and misses her ex-boyfriend.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Good instinct. She's not in a good state for you to date her. Steer clear and date other girls. If she straightens herself out, revisit the idea then.
    Originally Posted by hide
    Now she is showing signs of interest again but after just hearing about this from her friends, I am very suspicious she plans to use me.

  7. #6
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    Never date someone unless they have been single for at least six months post a long term relationship.

    Should you be disgusted at her? No!
    Her behaviour is not abnormal. She is emotional thatís all .

    Should you sympathise with her? No. You are not her friend.

    She has friends to provide a shoulder to cry on. She has other rebound options.
    You should not be either.

  8. #7
    Member EclipseCross's Avatar
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    I agree, it's way too soon to consider something more than a friendship, she has been single only for two weeks.
    You should always put yourself in the first place and protect yourself. Good luck!

  9. #8
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Oh she's just young and hasn't fully developed emotionally. All these feelings she has, she has no idea how to cope with it. Most of it is feelings of abandonment/rejection. She seeks out attention from other guys to feel better and fill a void. As for calling the BF, she's just scared of the unknown, scared of being without him. Adjusting after a breakup for a young person is a very painful process to go through. So like it or not, she has to work her way through this the best she can. Hopefully she has a close understanding friend or mother to help her calm down, and walk through the healing process. As for YOU, it's best to back away, maybe get back in contact with her in the fall when she has all of this out of her system.

  10. #9
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    It definitely sounds like she's doing what she thinks she needs to in order to get her ex back, or at least to make him jealous. Even if she has some genuine feelings for you, they can be easily clouded due to this break up. 3 years is a lot of time, especially in high school. Honestly, I would suggest to protect yourself. There's a saying that it takes roughly half the time of a relationship to get over it. A couple weeks is nothing. I'd give this girl a thought again after summer break and she where she's at with her behaviour.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by amii1
    It definitely sounds like she's doing what she thinks she needs to in order to get her ex back, or at least to make him jealous. Even if she has some genuine feelings for you, they can be easily clouded due to this break up. 3 years is a lot of time, especially in high school. Honestly, I would suggest to protect yourself. There's a saying that it takes roughly half the time of a relationship to get over it. A couple weeks is nothing. I'd give this girl a thought again after summer break and she where she's at with her behaviour.


    Thank you for the response. This is exactly what I am going to do. I had no idea that is how long it normally takes! after summer break we will most likely have a class so maybe I will see whats up then.

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