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Thread: I want him back what should I do?

  1. #1
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    I want him back what should I do?

    We’ve been dating for 3 years since the last year of my high school. First couple of months were great though we weren’t official. After school was over, I moved to a different country. I was going through stress at that time regarding universities and kind of took it out on him. I used to childishly ignore him for days whenever I was mad at him which hurt him a lot. However we still became official and distance was never a problem for us because every year we visit each other during the summer. There had been ups and downs and we did break up once before but that only lasted for a day. This March out of the blue he just ended things with me. He even changed completely overnight. I couldn’t even believe it was real because just 2 days before the break up he told me how much he loved me. The reason he gave me was we are very different people and I don’t give him 100% love. Also he told me his visa got rejected which he was looking forward to so now he just wants to focus on his career. I begged for 2 weeks and asked him to try with me but he became so distant and started talking to this girl. Later we just stopped talking. A week later he again begins texting me bringing up my past mistakes about how much I hurt him. And then he randomly asks me when am I coming home. Then two days later he again texts me that he misses me. I never replied to any of his messages. But finally I gave in after a month passed by and we began texting again. He told me he wants to meet and fix things. But then he starts to change again. I brought up the girl he used to talk to and he told me that they did like each other but they’re just friends. Then when I bring up about fixing things he gets reluctant and says that we will meet but chances of fixing things are very less. It got to a point where all he talked about was making out and sex but he still didn’t want to fix things. And he didn’t used to reply me when he was with his friends so obviously he just used to text me when he was bored. I started pressuring him to talk about us and he seemed confused as he said I do want to talk and meet but then again he was like don’t hold onto the hope that we’ll fix things. And then he just said let’s stop talking and I agreed. He again sends me random videos a week later. Finally he went and made friends with this group of girls and I got to know that he ed about me with them when I was asking around if he was dating any of those girls. Then I just told him that I really hope karma gets you and blocked him. It’s almost going to be a week and there’s no texts from him. I didn’t block him from whatsapp as I was hoping he’d text. I don’t know what to do I mean this is the same guy who used to cry for me and used to jump on a bus to travel 12 hours just to meet me for 2 hours. What shocks me is that we had plans this summer to get away for 2 days where it’s just gonna be the two of us. How could he still break up with me? And most importantly will he come back because in a month he’ll be coming to my country.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Are there no other guys where you live? This guy sounds like a really mixed up, conflicted person who cant decide what he wants. Honestly, I'd forget about him and make some new friends and hopefully find a better mate than he was.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Because he was seeing the potential in other girls, that's why he changed. No one in their right mind at such a young age should be tied up in a relationship. He realized this and that there was opportunity out there. He just had trouble figuring it out because he had emotional attachment with you. Yes letting go is hard but he managed to work through it, and so should you. life must go on...go on without him.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Let him go. You're both not in any position to support a long distance relationship. The communication is sporadic and inconsistent and the dynamic is skewed. There doesn't seem to be enough time or in-person quality time for both of you to reconnect on a meaningful level and it's totally lacking in trust and respect.

    You're holding on because you're afraid of being alone and contemplating a life without him. Start thinking a bit bigger and let go of unhealthy relationships and spaces in your life. It will open you up to better things. Step back and look at the big picture.

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  6. #5
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    I talk to guys who has potential too but that never changed my mind. Why should it be so easy for him to let go? He was just as much involved in the relationship as I was. Also people in this forum has been saying that the initial stage post breakup for the dumper is easy as they get a sense of freedom. But later it starts to fade away. Moreover if we are in the same country after so long wouldn’t he want to meet?
    I know I should let go if I look at the bigger picture which is years of long distance but I still can’t get him off my mind

  7. #6
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    So in 3 years you only actually dated a few months in real life?
    Sounds like he wants a proper relationship not a pretend one?
    Why do you not seek the same???

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It sounds like he me someone local. You should do the same.

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by Missinghim12
    I talk to guys who has potential too but that never changed my mind. Why should it be so easy for him to let go? He was just as much involved in the relationship as I was. Also people in this forum has been saying that the initial stage post breakup for the dumper is easy as they get a sense of freedom. But later it starts to fade away. Moreover if we are in the same country after so long wouldn’t he want to meet?
    At one point, yes, but he apparently doesn't feel that way anymore. It's a painful realization, I know, but it's the truth. That's why it's easier for him to let go - he just isn't invested any longer.

    You are projecting your feelings on to him, which is normal when a break-up happens. You are assuming that he feels the way you do, but it usually doesn't work like that. You would want to see him if he were in your country after so long, but you can't assume that he is going to feel the same way.

    Also, if he has met someone local and is dating her now, are you really prepared to hear that?


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