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Thread: My sisterís bf is getting on my nerves. Should I have a talk with mom?

  1. #11
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    deleted....

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    25, well you are more than old enough to be on your own. What's stopping you?

    I was wrong. He is 30. We are raising a generation of babies.

  3. #13
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    This may be why it bothers you so much:
    " Like all I do is work and on weekends I never have plans other than gym, then after that I just stay in bed all day and look forward to dinner where I would usually cook a meal or order take out."

    Sometimes even when we "don't feel like" going out and doing something we need to force ourselves. Otherwise you end up sinking further and further into a rut that can end up seeming impossible to dig yourself out of.

  4. #14
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    This was from early May:

    "Very annoyed with my mom
    Iím very annoyed with my mom. It seems like she depends on me for everything. Iím 30 years old and work for my stuff and the thing that sucks is I still live at home with her and my siblings but my siblings always go out with friends or go to work and school.

    I work a full time job but I want to go back to school to get a degree and get a paying better job since my trade is average in pay and I want to move out and at least rent an apartment so I can have my freedom. Iím paying her about 700 dollars a month in rent. Studios and one bedroom apartments in my area are $1600-$1700

    I donít mind helping my mom out but she asks for too much and if I donít do it I feel like a bad son.

    Things she would ask me:

    Bring her to places even though the place is only 5 minutes away from the house and she even expects this on my Days off but I refuse cause I want my own time

    Get her gas

    Take out the trash etc.

    Pack her meal for work and walk her to her car at night since sheís scared some stranger will come up to her

    Today she wanted me to accompany her to bring her car to the mechanic and get a car rental after. I just felt awkward cause everyone at the rental place were all married couples with kids and here I am the 30 year old with his mom. How do I deal with this guys? I feel embarrassed whenever Iím with her alone. She still has my dad but he works 7 days a week.
    "

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  6. #15
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    If you are essentially man of the house, then take on the role. tell your sister that you know that her boyfriend is spending the night - you hear them having sex and its disrespectful to your mother. Don't get mom involved, speak sibling to sibling. And if she knows that someone knows she might stop.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Speak to your sister and forewarn her that if she and her boyfriend refuse to find a motel or hotel to have sex, then you will reveal this to your mother. It is not tattling if you give your sister fair warning first. I think it's unfair to your mother for your sister and her boyfriend to wait until she marches off to work to have sex in HER house. Your mother's house, your mother's rules. It is only fair. You pay $700., you contribute toward rent, so you have every right to have no sex noise and barking dogs while you're trying to sleep. I would definitely speak up as opposed to stewing in silence. Since all of you live together, the atmosphere should be at least peaceful and respectful toward one another.

  8. #17
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    If your sister was 16 I would understand the concern, but sheís not sheís a grown woman and is doing something that is totally natural. Your mother must be a prude like you, if she thinks your sister and BF are not making love in her bedroom as two healthy adults would. I have sex in my parents house when I visit on holidays. They are in their 70ís and make jokes about it the next morning, with some humorous sexual innuendo.

    Iím a parent of a 18 year old son and a 20 year old daughter. Both are in committed relationships and as a responsible parent who doesnít live in the 1950ís, I installed locks on their bedroom doors for privacy and talked to them about birth control. The last thing I want them doing is having sex in a seedy motel or the back of a car.

    Until your mum says no sex is to happen in my house (highly unlikely), respect your sisters privacy as an adult..... this is the problem. Your mum has 2 adult children in her house and one should have moved out years ago.

    This is an issue with you, not your sister or her BF..... youíre frustrated and get annoyed, youíre living with mum at 30!!!, by your own admission have no social life and are watching your sister enjoying a healthy sex life that you probably want.... I had 3 kids of my own, started my own engineering business and had bought a house by your age. Youíre failing to launch and projecting this frustration on others.

    Iím now divorced at 43 and despite achieving a lot in life, I have regrets and one is not experiencing different (sexual) relationships in my 20ís.... ohh!!! what Iíd give to be your age and single.

    Forget what others are doing, donít be jealous of your sisters love life and live a happy life full of great experiences. Youíre bitter at the moment, but that with change to regret when you hit 40 and realised you didnít make the most of your youth.
    Last edited by Matt0050; 06-01-2019 at 07:21 PM.

  9. #18
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    Thanks for all the replies guys. I decided to just keep this to myself and not let it get to me. Iím just going to keep working harder and save up more to move out soon. Going to use this as motivation to get out of the nest. Iím sure Iíll be a lot happier

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    This may be why it bothers you so much:
    " Like all I do is work and on weekends I never have plans other than gym, then after that I just stay in bed all day and look forward to dinner where I would usually cook a meal or order take out."

    Sometimes even when we "don't feel like" going out and doing something we need to force ourselves. Otherwise you end up sinking further and further into a rut that can end up seeming impossible to dig yourself out of.
    I try my best to. Like stuff just gets old fast. On my days off I just go out with a friend to eat, gym. Everyone else is just occupied with their significant others and kids now at my age

  11. #20
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by JDMxTeGrA101
    Thanks for all the replies guys. I decided to just keep this to myself and not let it get to me. Iím just going to keep working harder and save up more to move out soon. Going to use this as motivation to get out of the nest. Iím sure Iíll be a lot happier
    Yeah, you will feel so much happier out on your own !!

    I totally get why having to hear your sister sneaking around like a teenager and having sex above you would get on your nerves. What a way to a slow insanity!

    It's just time for you to have something that you built as your own!

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