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Thread: He doesnít call enough

  1. #11
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Do you feel you've given yourself time to process that last relationship?

    Two weeks before meeting this guyóunless I have it wrongóyou were in love with someone else, lashing out at him, a lot of pain and drama. Are you still involved in all that? Still in touch with him or hoping for him to come around?

    A lot of times we end up playing games because we are very hurt and scared to be hurt. The problem with games is that we just play ourselves, in the end, much like the problem with using new romance to treat old wounds often just leads to more pain.

  2. #12
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    Yes Iím over that drama. We have zero contact. I didnít contact him since that last post. Iím not 100% over it but I know I NEVER want my ex In my life again. Hes blocked. Thatís why Iím confused about what I want. With what Iíve been through, I told myself I was done with dating for at least 6 months but I met this new guy and he convinced me to go out with him. Like I said heís been great just want to talk to him more. Maybe we can be friends but with no benefits. Or be together once Iím ready. I just want to know if itís bad that heís not calling me after sex

  3. #13
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Bravil
    I just want to know if itís bad that heís not calling me after sex
    Honestly, this sounds like the last thing to be worried about.

    You're all over the map. This guy didn't "convince" you to go out with him. You're an adultó27 or 29, depending on the day and dudeóand you went out with him because you wanted to. You had sex with him because you wanted to. That's all fine, adult stuff.

    Less fine is that you seem to want guys to tell you who you are, what you want, and what you're worth, rather than giving yourself some time to ask and answer those questions yourself so you can share it all, clearly, with a guy.

    Whether this new guy is super into you, on the fence, not gentlemanly enough, or whatever is beside the point. You are turning him into a toy, a little game. So while you say you're over that other drama what you're doing, not quite consciously, is creating more.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    By the sounds of it, you're becoming someone to just have sex with whenever he gets the urge.

    It can happen if you lead with sex.

    To be honest, it's pretty bad if he can't even be bothered to message you the next day after he's had sex with you.
    That's a fairly big sign that he's not emotionally invested in you and it's just sex.

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  6. #15
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    Did you give him a courtesy call the day after having sex?

    You are clearly not in a relationship with this guy and you both mutually consented to having sex outside of a relationship.
    Why is it up to him to give you a courtesy call?
    And what would a courtesy call entail in your opinion? Thanks for your warm vagina?
    Did you message him with a thanks for your hard Willy?

    Seriously??? You had sex with a guy you are not in a relationship with and want what after?
    You asked to get dropped home. He politely did that.

    Geez Iím a female and Iím confused.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Stop playing games. Phone calls are not "payment" for sex that's a twisted way to think. If his communication style doesn't suit you end it rather than thinking putting him in the friendzone will inspire him to call you.
    Originally Posted by Bravil
    heís been great just want to talk to him more. Maybe we can be friends but with no benefits. I just want to know if itís bad that heís not calling me after sex

  8. #17
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Are you in the military/police?

    So you are wondering if he likes you by counting how many times he calls you. Yet, he has sex with you. I'd say he's interested.

    Phone calls are not really necessary, dates are....and phone calls are primarily to set dates. Talk on the date.

    I would think that if you really wanted to get to know him before you got serious, you would not be having sex with him.

  9. #18
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    "Please take me home".

    Guy takes you home.

    "How dare he do what I asked him to do!"

    Yep, I'm confused what it is you want here.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    28, 29 guy A guy B, I donít know but what I do know is

    Originally Posted by Bravil
    I know the feeling. I was at that exact same place 3 months ago. My heart was broken. You know what I did? I prayed every day, Seek therapy, get new hobbies. I know you tired of everyone saying give it time, I was too. But itís absolutely true. You have to give it time. Some days are going to be ok and others a little harder but you eventually going to start caring less. Like the messages above said dating is only going to help you temporary. It doesnít take the feeling away. You have to give yourself time to let go. TRUST ME IT WILL GET BETTER!!!!!
    Iím living proof!!!

    Your own advise to others fits advise to give yourself pretty well.


    Give yourself time to heal in the grand scheme of things three weeks is a blip And he was an attempt to rebound that kinda imploded

  11. #20
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    The calls slow down=he's not that into you.

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