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Thread: I'm afraid of being alone even though I always have been

  1. #1

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    I'm afraid of being alone even though I always have been

    This school year just ended and I'm moving schools again. This will be my 13th school and I'm only 17. I always make "friends" but they never get that close and every time with out fail after I move they lose touch. I've gone 17 years with out a best friend my longest relationship was 11 months and he broke up with me in the summer when I said I was moving. I've gone basically my whole life without friends. My mom is always working and so is my dad, my extended family always took care of me but than when I was 12 we moved to another state and I started staying home alone. I thought I was okay with being alone and not having anyone, but lately I just start feeling really upset and emotional and start crying over how lonely I am even through it's all I've ever really known. How do I make it stop?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    Are you planning on going to college? Perhaps you need to work towards independence from your parents, so you can stay in one place long enough to develop relationships that last.

    Your feelings of loneliness are definitely justified, but I think it's important to remind yourself that your social difficulties are the result of factors outside of your control. We don't get to choose how are childhoods turn out, sadly, and often the lack of choice results in a lot of pain.

    My only other suggestion (if it is an option) would be to consider seeing a mental health professional, if only for a short period of time. Yes, this would also be affected by a move, but I do think that talking with someone could help you work through these feelings until you can change your situation for the better. Good luck!

  3. #3

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    My parents have had me test out of high school to go to college quicker and I'll still be living at home and they don't believe in mental illness so I wouldn't have a way to see a professional I've looked into it and asked but just got yelled at and told that I'm fine and that it's a wast of my time

  4. #4
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    Hm, what is it your parents do that results in you moving so frequently? Have you ever voiced how the frequent moves affect you?

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  6. #5

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    My mom gets bored stay in one place to long, and I have they just don't care their motto is "children should be seen and not heard

  7. #6
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    Once you are 18 they legally cannot stop you from getting a job. Save up money for as long as you can and then make your move towards independence. It sounds like you grew up in a difficult and controlling environment. The only way you'll be able to break free is to work very hard.

  8. #7

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    Thank for the advice

  9. #8
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    Damn, I cannot even imagine how rough that is. I have gone through 2 moves basically, and the second one was to where we were originally from and it still sucks. To me, your best bet is probably independence from your parents at this point. Whether its going to college or moving away on your own, because it does not seem like they will budge. Maybe if you sat down and had a genuine heart to heart with them and told them how badly it is affecting your life, because that is truly cruel. It would be different if it was because of work, but itís because they get bored which is insane.

  10. #9
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    Google "childhood emotional neglect" - if your parents have consistently invalidated your feelings and left you alone it is no wonder you are experiencing these difficulties.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Contact the college and ask about financial aid, student housing and whatever other resources and they have to offer. If you don't get along with your parents, you'll have to find a way to live on campus/student housing and get financial aid in addition to working.

    Start right now by getting a part time job and doing everything you can to feel more independent from and less resentful of your parents. Keep in mind at 18, they are not required to house, feed, educate or take care of you. It doesn't matter what they think of mental illness. You can go to a clinic when you are 18 and no longer a minor.
    Originally Posted by NovaSim
    My parents have had me test out of high school to go to college quicker and I'll still be living at home and they don't believe in mental illness so I wouldn't have a way to see a professional I've looked into it and asked but just got yelled at and told that I'm fine and that it's a wast of my time

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