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Thread: How to start conversation with her?

  1. #1
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    How to start conversation with her?

    Hello everyone! I like a girl for over 2 weeks.. She is 28 years old and I'm 25. She's working at a cafe. The only contact we have, is eye contact. Unfortunately, we don't have common friends, so I decided to talk to her via facebook. However, I'm afraid to text her. Some people say, what if she rejects you, just make your move, but I disagree. If I can do something to impress her, to get her attention, why shouldn't I do it? She seems earnest and I want to make the best impression I can. But I don't know what should I tell her, how to start conversation with her via messages… Plz help me…

  2. #2
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    Hi Steve,

    Did she give you her number to text her? If so, then I say go for it! She's obviously interested too. I think she already is anyway, most women who are in a working environment won't be bothered to make eye contact for any length of time or accept your friend request on social media and carry on a conversation with you if they don't know you first. Most of us have more of a "it's that creepy guy that is always staring at me at work" attitude towards guys that do that.

    Just text her and say "Hey! It's Steve from the cafe. Hope you're having a great day". I'm of course assuming she doesn't already have your number and it lets her know you're thinking about her. When she responds just let the conversation flow. When the time feels right ask her if she wants to get together for coffee, drinks, something to eat or whatever.

    Good luck! And let us know how it turns out!

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by thelonely
    Hi Steve,

    Did she give you her number to text her? If so, then I say go for it! She's obviously interested too. I think she already is anyway, most women who are in a working environment won't be bothered to make eye contact for any length of time or accept your friend request on social media and carry on a conversation with you if they don't know you first. Most of us have more of a "it's that creepy guy that is always staring at me at work" attitude towards guys that do that.

    Just text her and say "Hey! It's Steve from the cafe. Hope you're having a great day". I'm of course assuming she doesn't already have your number and it lets her know you're thinking about her. When she responds just let the conversation flow. When the time feels right ask her if she wants to get together for coffee, drinks, something to eat or whatever.

    Good luck! And let us know how it turns out!
    Hello! Thanks for the answer. No we don't have any contact except eye contact. We don't have even made a handshake. I didn't understand what do you want to say with this "I think she already is anyway, most women who are in a working environment won't be bothered to make eye contact for any length of time or accept your friend request on social media and carry on a conversation with you if they don't know you first. Most of us have more of a "it's that creepy guy that is always staring at me at work" attitude towards guys that do that. " and why don't they bother to make eye contact for any length of time? Do you mean that is not a hint?

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    If a woman is working they are busy concentrating on their work. They don't generally stop to take notice of anyone or take the the time to make eye contact unless they have some kind of interest in that person. It's just how we are. If she is anything like me (or any other woman I know), she is waiting for you to approach her. We as women are raised that "good girls don't ask men out, they ask you".

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  6. #5
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Do you eat where she works? If you are a regular there, since she can see you, it's possible for her to develop a crush on you is she is attracted. If that happens, you don't have to do anything, she'll approach YOU. The fantastic thing about that is, there's no rejection.

    Sure, guys usually ask out first - except when the woman has a crush on them!

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by thelonely
    If a woman is working they are busy concentrating on their work. They don't generally stop to take notice of anyone or take the the time to make eye contact unless they have some kind of interest in that person. It's just how we are. If she is anything like me (or any other woman I know), she is waiting for you to approach her. We as women are raised that "good girls don't ask men out, they ask you".
    Thanks again! Allow me to tell you how that started. I'm a customer to this cafe for years and I noticed her about a month ago. She passed beside me and she was looking me. That was the spark that triggered it. Then after a few days, I went to buy a coffee. The cafe is small inside, when you go inside is the till point where you make your order and exactly behind it, is where they are making the coffees. I made my order and she was looking again me. By that I mean, it wasn't a looking just to know who came, but a looking for lots of seconds. Then another day I was walking and then she passed as co-driver. She just observed me like every person who passes the road and then she looked away after a second. I went to buy a coffee with a friend just to tell me if her lookings are just in my imagination or not, but he confirmed that she was looking me, however he wasn't able to understand a lot, because her movements were "mechanicals" as he said. She was making the coffees. Last time was yesterday, she was working at the till point and I crossed the street. If I understood correctly, she was just observing outside until she noticed me and she was looking me again until I started moving to cross the road and she turned her head and talked to her colleague.. Of course she maybe thinking "oh that guy again" or "is he watching me?". I really don't know, what do you believe?

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    Do you eat where she works? If you are a regular there, since she can see you, it's possible for her to develop a crush on you is she is attracted. If that happens, you don't have to do anything, she'll approach YOU. The fantastic thing about that is, there's no rejection.

    Sure, guys usually ask out first - except when the woman has a crush on them!
    I'm a regular customer. It's only a cafe, not a cafe restaurant. Maybe, I hope so she developed a crush on me. I don't believe any woman will do the first move. Besides if she wanted, she would have approached me. You can read my last post where I explain the details! Thanks in advance.

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    Steve,

    She is into you. I say go for it! You're right, chances are, she's not going to make the first move. But, she definitely wants you to notice her, noticing you. Send her the message! You never know...she could be "the one". :)

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by thelonely
    Steve,

    She is into you. I say go for it! You're right, chances are, she's not going to make the first move. But, she definitely wants you to notice her, noticing you. Send her the message! You never know...she could be "the one". :)
    I hope so. I feel so strong emotions for her. However, as a friend told me, eye contact isn't such a big hint. Also I'm afraid to talk to her because as I said you, I'm a regular customer and I won't go again if she rejects me because I'll feel uncomfortable. Also you said to just let the conversation roll, but I don't know what to say. I feel I can't, I don't know what to tell her to get her attention..

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok start liking some of her posts and make a pleasant comment or two.. There is no foolproof way to assure she'll say yes, so hemming and hawing won't work. Also start smiling and making small talk when in person. Even simple questions or comments. If you can't even talk to her how do you expect to go on a date? But don't just lurk around never speaking up, that can seem creepy to women.
    Originally Posted by Steve94
    I decided to talk to her via facebook. However, I'm afraid to text her.

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