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Thread: How to start conversation with her?

  1. #11
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    Take it from a 43 year old woman, if there is that much eye contact, she's into you. Think about it, how many people do you come into contact with every day? Pass on the street, drive by, walk past/stand beside in a mall or a store and don't even notice? But when someone catches your attention you look at them long enough that they look back at you and make eye contact before you look away. This is human nature, this is a biological signal built into us making sure the other person notices us too, to see if there is a connection.

    Just message her. Say "Hi! It's Steve from the cafe. I can't stop thinking about you. You have the most beautiful _____ (eyes, smile, hair, laugh, whatever it is) that I have ever seen/heard. I was wondering if you'd like to grab a coffee or drink sometime?"

    When you get together bring flowers to show that you appreciate her and that she took her time to spend with you. Stick with wildflowers or seasonal flowers, if you decide to go with a rose, just a single one and no red, stick with pink, white or yellow. You don't want to put too much pressure on a first date.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by thelonely
    Take it from a 43 year old woman, if there is that much eye contact, she's into you. Think about it, how many people do you come into contact with every day? Pass on the street, drive by, walk past/stand beside in a mall or a store and don't even notice? But when someone catches your attention you look at them long enough that they look back at you and make eye contact before you look away. This is human nature, this is a biological signal built into us making sure the other person notices us too, to see if there is a connection.

    Just message her. Say "Hi! It's Steve from the cafe. I can't stop thinking about you. You have the most beautiful _____ (eyes, smile, hair, laugh, whatever it is) that I have ever seen/heard. I was wondering if you'd like to grab a coffee or drink sometime?"

    When you get together bring flowers to show that you appreciate her and that she took her time to spend with you. Stick with wildflowers or seasonal flowers, if you decide to go with a rose, just a single one and no red, stick with pink, white or yellow. You don't want to put too much pressure on a first date.
    Ok, but how do you explain when she passed with the car, she looked me like any random guy? And the last time, it would be more reasonable to look at me until she can't anymore. I was on the opposite side of the road. She was looking outside until she noticed me. I was looking her too. Then I had the chance to across the street and she turned her head to her colleague. So based on what you say, she should "eat me" with her eyes right? How do you explain them? Sorry for becoming weirdo, I don't want to go against you or I don't try to say that you aren't right, but I want to be sure. I hope you understand me!

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Ok start liking some of her posts and make a pleasant comment or two.. There is no foolproof way to assure she'll say yes, so hemming and hawing won't work. Also start smiling and making small talk when in person. Even simple questions or comments. If you can't even talk to her how do you expect to go on a date? But don't just lurk around never speaking up, that can seem creepy to women.
    Most of the times, she works behind the till where they make the coffees. So I don't have the opportunity to do it. That's why I want to text her.

  4. #14
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    I do understand. She was likely telling her co-worker "that's him, he's on his way in" when she spotted you. You're over analyzing. You're never going to know unless you put yourself out there.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by thelonely
    I do understand. She was likely telling her co-worker "that's him, he's on his way in" when she spotted you. You're over analyzing. You're never going to know unless you put yourself out there.
    I know. And that's wrong, but I want to be as sure as I can, because if I miscalculate, it will be uncomfortable for both of us to co-exist in the same place. At least for me...

  7. #16
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    Put yourself out there and be rejected. Or maybe you'll be surprised and end up on a date. It's not good to overstudy someone's behavior to try to figure out how they think about you. That just builds up your hopes and makes it harder to make your shot, and also stings harder if you don't get the hoped for answer.

  8. #17
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    The only way you know there is "eye contact" is for you (or the one case of your friend) are looking at her. There comes a point when people start wondering why someone is looking at them and want to see if they are still there. Then there comes a point that it is disturbing. So make up your mind, do you want to have awkwardness due to a conversation attempt or do you want awkwardness for when her manager comes over to ask why you keep staring at one of their employees. That choice is yours.

    As far as your original question, the best way to approach someone is to say - hello. No need for rocket science to get a conversation started and since it's a regular place that you go, you can follow up to build some comfort. At that point, if you still can't ask her in person, she will at least know you well enough for a social media chat to ask her.

  9. #18
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    Thanks everyone for your advice. I want to share with you the latest news to give me your opinion. Please be gentle. Yesterday, I went at a restaurant. She was opposite and diagonal 2-3 tables away and I was only seeing her back. I had an eye contact with her sister only because she was looking direct to me. I went out because I wanted to make a phone call due to the noise inside the restaurant. I came back and after a while she turned her body diagonally (and stayed diagonally until she left) and she looked me twice. (For me it was like the first time ok he is looking me and the second just to confirm it, of course I can be wrong). Then I don't know if she tried to look at me again because there were some people between us and I couldn't see. Besides I didn't want to be creepy. After that, they left. I was sitting next to the door, so she was forced to pass next to me. When she stood up, she was looking the infinite and then when she passed next to me, she was looking down. When she went out, before they leave, she looked our table and she left. A friend of mine told me that. Some of you will say that I'm crazy and I have to talk to her but she confuses me with her movements. I can't understand if she is interested or just considers me as a creepy guy who looks at her all time. Of course I wasn't looking her all time because I didn't want to be creepy. I was doing glimpses. What do you believe?

  10. #19
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    She's trying to make eye contact and read you as much as you are trying to read her. She's waiting for you to ask her out, just do it before someone else comes along and you miss your chance.

  11. #20
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    If she is not smiling or making direct eye contact, she thinks it's creepy. Stop 'glimpsing' at her. Do you ever smile or say hi? If not, that's in the creepzone too.
    Originally Posted by Steve94
    I can't understand if she is interested or just considers me as a creepy guy who looks at her all time.

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