Need help with my ex girlfriend

Hi

I'm new here. Searching for help online after a difficult breakup lead me to this forum.

Me (25) and my ex girlfriend (23) have been together for 5 years. We were in long distance relationship but used to see each other almost every day at school and spent together everey weekend. We planned to move away together this year. After graduation I had a hard time with myself. I was afraid about the future and acted extremely insecure which led to loss of attraction from her side. She told me few days later that she want's to break up because she just didn't feel the same

way about me. I told that's ok. She cried and changed her decision just to tell me few days later "you are free". It was 8 months ago. During that time she's been giving my mixed signals. One time she even started flirting with me and the next day told me to go away. It's probably because became super needy everytime she tested me. I gave up for a while and started to improve myself. After more than a month of no contact I texted her and told that I just wanted to ask how she was - got some sour answer that "it's your fault that we're in this situation right now you won't ever change dond be funny blah blah..." I decided to call her few days later. She answered. She was acting aloof but opened up a bit quite fast and we talked about everyday issues. The next day I asked if she wanted to catch up for a while as we're both going to move away soon and it would be nice to meet up before that happen. She texted me that "She doesn't have time now ;)". I called her today. She didn't answer but called me back few minutes later. She was at work so I told her I'll call some other day then. She insisted to say what I wanted and she told me that if I wanted to ask about the meeting I could forget about it. I told her again that I would call later and said goodbye.

My psychotherapist told me that those signs she gives me probably mean she's still not over me but she does not really believe i have changed and tries to trigger my reaction to reveal my insecurities. We had a really good relationship and from perspective of time I decided that I want to try to get her back and begein new long distance relationship with her.

My question is how should I act when I again try to invite her. I know it's necessary to give her a good impression of me.

Thanks in advice.

Arek

Lay back and wait for her to contact you. At this point she's pushing you away and that makes you seem desperate to her.

I think you need a break from her and you should stop contacting her. I don't think she wants you back because it's been eight months now and you've been in contact, but she hasn't expressed that she wants you back at all. She is also making excuses when you've suggested meeting up. It's difficult to let go of an ex so she's probably a bit hung up on you still, but that doesn't necessarily mean she actually wants to be with you. I think you should go fully no contact and move on. I don't understand why you keep talking to her when you are clearly not over her and this is basically a dead end because she doesn't want to get back together.

I understand that. The thing is that I'm moving away within a month. And I'm afraid it won't be possible to reatract her If we don't see in person. Is there any way to make her see me fast without looking needy? I'm sure she won't contact me first because she did before and I messed it up.

Well it doesn't sound like she wants you back? She doesn't seem that keen to catch up and in eight months has not said anything about getting back together. I think you're still in the denial stage of grief where you can't accept that it's actually over. Moving away is probably great for you to not see her and really start to move on.

What is the purpose of seeing you? You need to move on. She has.

Time to block and delete her. Permanently.