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Thread: long term relationship thats one sided

  1. #1

    long term relationship thats one sided

    so basically ive been dating my current/first partner for about 2 almost 3 years now, we have sex on occasion which is basically dependant on her mood which bothers me but its her body so whatever.

    we have literally gone through enough that we know eachother well enough have almost split a few times but it mainly works out, however around a year into the relationship i tried to see if she wpuld be up for trying new things (more sexual acts, positions, you know the whole give and take)

    however she just outright refuses and comes put with, what sounds to me like BS about how it doesnt feel like her, or that it is what everyone else her generation does ao she wont do it etc. yet has no issie with me doing that stuff for her.

    only other issue is during the start of the relationship and ever since i basically stopped all my old habbits like drinking with friends or hanging out with randoms at bars having a good time (im aged 22 btw) but as a result when these issues come up im left feeling like i am missing out when i have chances to talk to other girls or go out and just enjoy myself instead i ignore it and stick with my current partner.

    any advice you guys/gals can give me is appreciated as im a second year uni student as of this September and need to sort this out as soon as, thanks (feel free to be as harsh or brutal as you want as ill use this thread to show her the situation)

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
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    You two don't sound very compatible anymore, OP. Do you live together? If not, how often do you see each other?

    Also, how's the quality time you spend together? When a couple is feeling disconnected, sex is one of the first areas that suffers. I can only speak for myself as a woman, but in the past when I have felt distant from a boyfriend emotionally, I could not bring myself to be intimate with him. It's not that this is all your fault, to be very clear, but my guess is that there are other issues between you two and sex is but one of them?

    And why did you stop hanging out with your friends altogether? Losing balance in your life for the sake of a relationship is bound to cause resentment later, as you're now experiencing. That doesn't bode well in the bedroom either.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It sounds like you are resentfully just coasting along and complacent. Rather than complain, make plans to tactfully end it and free yourselves from each other.
    Originally Posted by OuroborosInc
    only other issue is during the start of the relationship and ever since i basically stopped all my old habbits like drinking with friends or hanging out with randoms at bars having a good time (im aged 22 btw) but as a result when these issues come up im left feeling like i am missing out when i have chances to talk to other girls or go out and just enjoy myself instead i ignore it and stick with my current partner.

  4. #4
    Silver Member Jellybean9's Avatar
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    Like others have said you don't sound very compatible.

    You are well within your right to share sexual experiences you want to in life with someone who wants to share them too. You are doing and at an age of exploration (don't worry even when you get older for some that remains). Sadly you and your current partner don't share that same views on sex within a relationship.

    My friend used to come to me with his dramas about his girlfriend. They were together two years and in that time barely was intimate. I felt incredibly odd him sharing this with me as I was a female friend he said he couldn't go for advice with his male friends.

    She was very much a taker if you catch what I'm saying and would never return the favour. He spoke to her about it. He tried easing up on pleasing her in that way and they tried other forms of intimacy. In the end it became too much for him and he left.

    I am not saying that was the right thing but he did what he thought was best for him. You have to do what's best for you.

    I expressed to my friend that maybe she wasn't comfortable doing certain things or she just wasn't a very sexual person which is all very normal. He decided on those grounds they were not compatible.

    There is more to a relationship than sex. But I feel it is an important part of a relationship too for some.

    Good luck

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