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Thread: Friend introduced me to her best friend

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    It's using a match-maker customary and considered more auspicious and polite in her culture?
    Yes. The "matchmaker" basically gathers background info from both parties and filters out anyone not meeting those requirements. You can think Matchmaker at the basic level to be the "filter" option on dating sites with exception it is more reliable.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    I am not talking about financial burden - i am talking about how you handle finances. Some people are savers. Some people have no concept and blow money on any little thing they want. Some people like to live above their means and use credit cards. its what your relationships with money are.

    Also, you say the "selection here is small" - so there are 5 Chinese-born or American-born but with a strong Chinese background in the whole USA who are single and looking to find their future husband between the ages of 28 and 40? That's BS. Are you on Match and other dating sites indicating preference for Asian women (open to women who are half Asian? How about non asian women who grew up in China because of their parents working at a company there or as missionaries?), that you speak English and Chinese fluently and you are looking for a relationship leading to marriage? ) There are millions of women that meet those criteria.

    Do you not think you will meet someone so therefore you are sabotaging yourself by only looking overseas?
    If you were born in China and came over in the past 10 years, then i could understand it more

    Match.com and other english sites i used are mostly useless. Match.com is a scam since you have no idea if the profiles are legit AND you have no idea who's paying and who's not. I use another asian site where the selection are all asians and as long as one person is a paying member the non paying can respond and conversation can be had. Plus the site i use is more legit in terms people there are not around playing games. Not saying match/harmony/etc cant create matches but they way they do it doesn't really "encourage" direct communication.

  3. #23
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    Whether it's a dating site or a matchmaker, their job ends once you have met the person in question. After that, it's up to you to do your due diligence vetting them as a viable partner. Which should be a lot more than just learning some facts about them.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by lioil
    Match.com and other english sites i used are mostly useless. Match.com is a scam since you have no idea if the profiles are legit AND you have no idea who's paying and who's not. I use another asian site where the selection are all asians and as long as one person is a paying member the non paying can respond and conversation can be had. Plus the site i use is more legit in terms people there are not around playing games. Not saying match/harmony/etc cant create matches but they way they do it doesn't really "encourage" direct communication.
    Are you not open to English-speaking women? Or Asian-American women?

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    Are you not open to English-speaking women? Or Asian-American women?
    asian american is fine too.

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by lioil
    asian american is fine too.
    Then there are millions in the US. you are not even trying if you have not met any.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    Then there are millions in the US. you are not even trying if you have not met any.
    Well some people are single so not all can be matched. And i did meet some here but not worked out so looking for additional options.

    I did meet her again over the weekend and she texted me after feeling a bit disappointed how i am not showing enough interest in her. It is only our 2nd meeting so not sure if she is looking for more physical affection or more attentiveness? She did mention how she told me she is a simple person but felt awkward when i casually asked her what some of her favorite brands are.

    She heads back on 23rd where she will be there for 3 months or so for a performance tour. She said she will be back after the 3 months trying for more permanent position through the opera house here. I think she is trying to get some sort of "commitment" before then so we can keep in touch during the 3 months or so and then have a better relationship when she comes back here. Maybe it's the pressure but is it realistic to make that kind of commitment before she leaves? I think my answer now would be see eachother more and decide till then?

  9. #28
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    It doesn't sound like either of you really clicked well. How is she a better prospect than some of the people you have dated locally?

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by lioil
    Well some people are single so not all can be matched. And i did meet some here but not worked out so looking for additional options.

    I did meet her again over the weekend and she texted me after feeling a bit disappointed how i am not showing enough interest in her. It is only our 2nd meeting so not sure if she is looking for more physical affection or more attentiveness? She did mention how she told me she is a simple person but felt awkward when i casually asked her what some of her favorite brands are.

    She heads back on 23rd where she will be there for 3 months or so for a performance tour. She said she will be back after the 3 months trying for more permanent position through the opera house here. I think she is trying to get some sort of "commitment" before then so we can keep in touch during the 3 months or so and then have a better relationship when she comes back here. Maybe it's the pressure but is it realistic to make that kind of commitment before she leaves? I think my answer now would be see eachother more and decide till then?
    How many single women did you go on dates with? Get out there. Online dating, join or start a Chinese conversation and dinner group -- for people who speak Chinese and want to keep their skills fresh and talk to others (i know on meetup dot come there were several within a 50 mile radius of me) made of transplanted Chinese people - some here on business some not, and a couple students who are not Chinese and are studying the language. you meet and have conversations over dinner and who cares if you only attract elderly people and random couples because they all have a daughter, sister, friend who is single. How are you socializing? Do you do any volunteering? What are you interested in?

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by saluk
    It doesn't sound like either of you really clicked well. How is she a better prospect than some of the people you have dated locally?
    I do feel negative towards her. I think the Visa uncertainty is whats giving me the pause. Also, i dont know how to ask her how she never been to US but wants to stay here. I am sure many who wanted to achieve "the american dream" never been to America first either. Also some of it is some pressure of establishing something concrete before she leaves.

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