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Thread: Dating advice

  1. #51
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    It sounds like you're wasting your time on him. Start messaging and meeting more interesting me
    yes i'll try , thanks

  2. #52
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    Agree but to add another women with higher self-esteem and self-respect would be bored.

    OP, you seem inexperienced and quite vulnerable - please be careful.

    Predatory men like him seek women like you out, they thrive on being able to manipulate and control and they use all sorts of tactics to do just that.

    Push/pull is a big one (pull you in then push out out, rinse repeat), and short one word responses that get your brain spinning attempting to decipher what it all means.

    Don't waste your energy on guys like him, PLEASE! Don't allow him to "pull you in" with push/pull tactics and other such game playing.

    Instead, spend your energy focusing on increasing your self-esteem and learning about interpersonal relationships in general. There are many good books you could read, or just paying attention to those around you in the real world, and learning from that.

    Volunteer, take a class, attend meet ups, and learn to differentiate between the a-holes and good guys.

    Take this as a great learning experience, and move forward with strength, confidence, head high.

    Think you can to do that or at least try?
    I'll try thanks

  3. #53
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    Originally Posted by DimaDemerzel
    It could be he's just used to waiting for people to approach him. It doesn't have to be that way, but I don't understand why you don't confront him with questions of what he really wants and then everything's clear to everyone..
    He told me on the first date that he looks for someone to marry.

  4. #54
    Gold Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by zzzz74032343
    He told me on the first date that he looks for someone to marry.
    Ya and as the saying goes, "men will do and say anything to get sex."

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  6. #55
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    That doesn't mean it's you
    Originally Posted by zzzz74032343
    He told me on the first date that he looks for someone to marry.

  7. #56
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    That doesn't mean it's you
    yes i think he has made up his mind as he has been online on the dating website all the time. So i'll just forget him and move on. Thank you.

  8. #57
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    Originally Posted by DimaDemerzel
    First of all, I don't think it's fair to assume he's seriously 'looking for someone else' just because he was still online on the dating website and/or browsing for new matches. It's perfectly fine for him to still do that, since you two have no commitment to each other yet. I would say to not worry about that yet.

    The right course of action, I think, never really is to limit how open you are. Things are so much easier and more comfortable for everyone when confusion is avoided through just being clear with each other. If you are really interested in getting to know this person better and learning whether there's more to him than just his good looks, and eventually maybe trying a committed relationship with him, I would recommend better communication. The way I see it, it's not a problem that you shared what you did with a man you've only seen a few times - only you really understand how comfortable you already are with each other or not -, but rather the way you expressed it. Perhaps you said it in a way that was perceived more as rejection than you simply expressing some problems you have from your past experiences. The right course of action here is that, next time you meet, you clear it out for him that there was a 'yet' involved. It's normal for people to want to feel more connected before having sex. Make sure he understands that you are attracted to him but just need more time. Ask him for a response too, don't let him avoid telling you what he thinks about that. This way, you'll know for sure if he just wants sex now or can wait for a proper relationship with you. Both people need to be informed of what's happening, so nobody wakes up with an unpleasant surprise (such as him looking for other people and you being confused as to why).

    As for his involvement in the dates, just set one up that implies some effort on his side. Like suggested above, meet somewhere of your choice next time, and make sure the timing is right for both of you to be fully mentally present.
    Another tip - don't focus so much on looks. Just because he's handsome doesn't mean 'any woman wants him'. I don't know why you would only want him because of that either - there must be more to him, right?

    Good luck! :) ♥
    Thank you so much DimaDemerzel, i kinda have no idea what to say.

  9. #58
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    I told him i was attracted to him but it takes time for me to get to know someone before feeling the connection to have sex and then i asked him would he like to spend time and get to know each other to feel that connection? and then he replied he knew that i am attracted to him in short words as i know and then he disappeared and i never again texted him as well. So i guess all he wants is just a hook up then. The most important thing is that i make sure i dont get intimate with anyone until i develop that connection and know the person well to know their intention and feel safe to proceed with intimacy.
    Thank you so much for your advice.

  10. #59
    Member DimaDemerzel's Avatar
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    Glad the situation has resolved peacefully. Good luck :)

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