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Thread: Worried Boyfriend Might Have Fertility Issues.

  1. #11
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008

    I appreciate your input, but I dont really see why you would suggest waiting and reconsidering everything; the decision to start a family was not made impulsively or without thought. I have been wanting to be a mother for quite a while now, and we had talked about it a few times in the past but we always knew the timing was not "right" yet (not that it ever can be 100% right).

    You talk about you wanting to be a mother, but what about all the other stuff as far as your relationship and why its the right time for a baby. btw, together 3 years -- there should not have been any "right" timing to plan a baby prior as you didn't know eachother long enough. Does he want a baby right now?

    To answer your other questions; I knew from the start that he is the one I will marry, our relationship is rock solid, very loving & close and does satisfy me (luckily I dont have the highest sex drive in the world either), and we work the same schedule (which is not goign to change) so we are really lucky in that regard.

    If you want to marry him, then marry him first.

    For several reasons -- it legally establishes the family unit for the child, and it also gives a child confidence and the wedding won't be forgotten and pushed to the wayside.

    When a baby comes, you will be so busy and the months and years will pass by quickly. You will make every intention to get married, but you will say "we need to save money" or "wait til the kid is older so can be babysat over night" Or "wait until the child can be in the wedding" I get that its the marriage, not the wedding that's important, but have the wedding when you both can enjoy it. If you wait until your pregnant - you will feel bloated, might not feel up to celebrating, etc and its really a tacky gift grab to have a wedding and then immediately a baby shower. And maybe later you will decide you wish you would not have been pregnant for wedding photos.

    Technically, your parents are next of kin if anything should go south for you during delivery - your boyfriend may be able to make a decision for the baby if you are unconscious but not a medical decision for you. You would have to go through legal paperwork, where if he were your husband, it would be automatic. And if your parents disagreed about things - it would not matter if you were married, but if you were not, it would. What if you were unable to work for awhile because of a difficult delivery or if your child had a need? You could not be on his insurance unmarried and not receive any other benefits based on his employment.

    A 1 year old may not know the difference between married/not married but my friend and i were both conceived before our parents were married and have younger siblings. She was actually born before her parents were married, my parents married just a week or two before i was born --- when i especially went through my teen years and when mom and dad wouldn't see eye to eye (nothing major, just a day to day thing), i would blame myself - that "they would not have had to marry if it was not for me". I mean, I am not putting any shade on parents who decided not to marry because they did not want to marry eachother - but if you want to - there is no reason not to.

    There are many posters who have multiple kids - and wonders why the guy hasn't married them yet. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #12
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    At this point, there is no real reason to worry!
    The best thing you can do is relax yourself as much as possible, enjoy this sweet spot in your relationship!
    It's smart for both of you to see your doctors and let it be known you will be trying, they will steer you as you go and it's a source of comfort having that solid foundation with your doc. You know the rest, I'm sure.

    Vacation in September?! Enjoy :)

  3. 06-16-2019, 02:14 AM


  4. 06-16-2019, 05:11 AM
    Refers to deleted post.

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