6 months of no contact so far

Hi

It’s been 6 months and there has been no contract...

I’m the dumped one... I’ve been ok for the last 6 months but recently I cannot stop thinking about her... I took a look at her Facebook profile and it all came back... I love her soo much but treated her wrongly...

5 years we were friend with benefits but everything time she got close I pushed her away.. I was not awful to her we had a great laugh and we’re always there for each other.. I made a big mistake but she’s now gone off me.

She told me I was not respectful towards her because of how I kept distance

We worked together that’s how we met her boyfriend was a and she always wanted to leave him suppose I gave her the push to do so but didn’t take it further with us..

I feel lost, hurt and desperate to prove her wrong but after such a long time of her trying she’s given up.

What do I do ? Do I leave it here and move on even though I don’t know how or do I try one last time? I’ve deleted my face book profile but she still has my number but she won’t contact me it hurts soooo much

What do I do

Well first of all, have you done any work on yourself, meaning therapy? 5 years FWB and not progressing, seems problematic. If you haven't dug deep and solved most of the problems, there's no point in reconciliation. Look into attachment styles, but seek therapy, you can never go wrong with it!

Very true 5 years of being friends, I have no excuse I treated her wrong I don’t deny that..

Maybe I do need therapy, I can’t explain how I feel . This was our first major break up and it kills me not being able to prove how much I do love her... just one chance but I don’t want to harass her that’s why I’ve not contacted her because her ex with whom she has two boys won’t leave her alone I feel helpless a small part of me thinks it for the best but I can’t help but think about how it would be if she gave me that once chance

Thanks for your message feels good to let it out on here

I've seen these issues before. Whenever it gets too intimate, one pulls away, not wanting to label it as a relationship and calling it friendship, because one can handle it better. Always keeping one foot out of the door etc. I'm serious, take a look at the attachment theory and see which one you identify with. Look at it like your first step to therapy. And seriously look into therapy. I'm no Doctor, I just broke up with a guy like that and read about it. Took my to a whole new journey with my therapist as to my attachment style. It's not a diagnosis, it's just labels for specific behaviors.

Don't look too deep into it, therapy is better, just look at it like a Kickstarter

After five years you are now realizing that you love her. I don't know about that. You would return to your old patterns. If you had really cared for her, you would have treated her better.

Leave her alone. She deserves much better! You had FIVE years and blew it.

Your right it’s been a long time, you need to understand things that are going on in someone’s personal life with family, which she knows about and stood by me...

I do regrets not making her a girlfriend and treating her like I should have...

People make mistakes but she never complained maybe because her ex beat her up sometime ago, maybe she was afraid to tell me? I’ve never hurt her in our relationship never had arguments and we spoke 24 hours a day, even just small talk we never ignored each other...

I just wanted one chance to prove myself but I don’t think most people understand that people can change if made aware of what the on the line..

Part of me thinks she’s met someone and due to my mistakes left me, that I would live with if I know the truth maybe it would ease my pain knowing she’s definitively moved on... it’s the not knowing and rethinking all the pain I caused resulted in two people who were so close to end 5 years of contact just like that....and. Not knowing if she still cares... if only you knew what our relationship was like maybe you’d re-think.

God be with you and may all your dreams comes true :)

I just realized you have two threads. Yes people can change, doesn't happen often, but they can. They need a good trigger, but most of all they need to work on changing.

How have you changed?

I’ve realised I was just lazy and was comfortable with the situation but I’ve realised I need to put myself first which I never do.

Like I said with my personal situation I’ve not been blessed with the ideal parents but I’ve realised to move forward with my life and you soo right it does take a big trigger to realise.

I fear it is too late and I’m just watching too many romantic movies 🤣 it hurts but I think I need to let her go... forever will I think of how I could change her mind but I’m to afraid to hurt her if she’s defo made the choice to stay away.

I’m sure I will see her again in the next life I will always love her no matter what, one day maybe I will find someone just as good I will love her too just like I wanted to love her but was too late

You were in a very convenient situationship for you. She probably wanted commitment, you never gave. How did you not put yourself first? Did I get the facts straight?

I can’t say munch due to not being able to delete your thread or account due to privacy so that’s bollocks but hope you kind of get my situation thanks for your advice take care