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Thread: Speechless

  1. #1
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    Speechless

    So, there's this guy I'm really interested in. I want to get to know him better, but I'm shy, new to the dating scene after a LTR and taking a couple of years to myself. Thing is I haven't actually seen this guy in 1.5 years, but I haven't been able to get him out of my head. I recently found him on FB through a mutual friend. I asked him how he was and how things at work were, he answered promptly and the conversation just fizzled. I have no idea how to start a conversation with him that would either lead to him knowing I'm interested or him becoming interested and the only means of communication is messenger.
    PLEASE HELP!! TIA

  2. #2
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    Is he single that you know of?
    How close are you to the mutual friend?

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    Yes, he's single. We all work for the same company, so just a co-workers. He and I were the closer of the bunch. We were just at the playful, flirty stage when I was needed in another building with no notice.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It would be better to get on some quality dating apps with a good profile and photos. This way you know they are looking for dating. Randomly contacting people on social media can leave you in this situation where he's just being polite/catching up but not interested in more and you hoping he is a potential date.
    Originally Posted by thelonely
    I recently found him on FB through a mutual friend. I asked him how he was and how things at work were, he answered promptly and the conversation just fizzled.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    Be brave and send him a message asking him out for a drink to catch up.

    Hi ______, Why don't we meet for a drink and catch up.

    If he says sure, sounds good then set a place date and time right then and there. Have a place in mind and tell him you will meet him there.

    Even if you are shy you should be able to muster enough to ask him to meet for a drink. When it does happen and he walks in give him a warm hug and tell him you missed him. Then make sure you flirt with him and throw him a compliment or two.

    If this is what you want you have to take some risk.

    Lost

  7. #6
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    You start a conversation and continue by being actually and genuinely interested in what he shares and asking appropriate follow up questions. While recognizing that he has 50% of the responsibility to keep the conversation going. Good luck!

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    Thank you, Lost. I will do my best to muster up the courage to do that. You are awesome! Thanks again!

  9. #8
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    Trust me it is way more scary in your head than in real life. He sounds like a nice guy that likes you so what is the worst thing that could happen? He says "No thanks"

    Guys approach women all the time and make the first move regularly and to my knowledge none of us have ever keeled over dead from rejection.

    If you really want this then take control of your life and ask him out for the drink. Don't wait for life to just happen, make it happen.

    It will be fine and make sure you come back and let us know how it went.

    Lost

  10. #9
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    Thank you again, Lost. You're right, it certainly won't be the end of the world if he says "no thanks". It's just out of my realm, since I have never asked someone out before. He is a nice guy and he wouldn't purposely say or do anything to hurt my feelings if I asked him out and he wasn't interested anymore. I think it is much worse in my head than in reality.

    Thank you for helping me see that.

    Lonely

  11. #10
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    The weekend is upon us so it is a perfect time to ask him. Do it today before you think about it to long.

    This will be good for you no matter how it turns out.

    Lost

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