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Thread: She Misses but Doesn't Call Me?

  1. #1
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    She Misses but Doesn't Call Me?

    So my girlfriend and i have been dating for 4 months now. 2 of the months have been long distance and will be for a year. She seems interested. We met each other's parents, she talks about the future and looking to move where I'm at.

    -
    She used to snapchat me everyday. She doesn't at all anymore (past 2 weeks), and i haven't sent any to her.
    She used to call every now and then and now she doesn't at all. I'm always the one calling, but I've stopped drastically.

    -
    Anyways, I addressed the topic of our lack of communication 3 times. On the second time she says she's just been working late nights and things will change afterwards. Well, they didn't She went 4 days without contact, and I called her a 3rd time to tell her the only way this will work is if we communicate more. She agreed and said "she's just bad at long distance stuff". She mentioned how she doesn't even call her parents weeks on end and said I'm the most she's tried with. She said she'll call me 'tomorrow', which is today and i'm still waiting on her call. (we'll see if she does)

    -
    During the same call, and before I mentioned the lack of communication, she mentioned about how much she missed me the other day. That's when I said "well you should have called", and she just said "yea". She also mentioned that I was "2 days away from getting an interesting text" I asked her the next day what it was and she said "i miss you inside me".

    -
    So what do you think is going on? Is she interested in someone else?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    So after knowing someone for only 2 months—pretty short—you committed to be together for a year long distance? Bold move, but I think what you're seeing is why such moves rarely work out.

    I can't tell you what's going on with her, whether she's losing interest, interested in someone else, or just busy. But it's pretty clear what's going on with you, which is that you're becoming increasingly anxious, unhappy, and hanging on to the smallest of particles (snapchat, etc.) to feel like you've got a deepening connection.

    What's the supposed plan for how this is supposed to work with the distance? Are you able to see each other, in real life, regularly? If not, it sounds like it's basically a phone relationship with someone you briefly dated IRL—and, sadly, phone relationships tend to fizzle out pretty quick.

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    Two weeks after me moving to another location, she booked tickets to see me and stayed a week. We've been dating for a total of 4 months, but only in person for 2.

    We plan on seeing each other monthly. I'm actually flying there in a week.

    She said she "missed me the other day", so it shows that she was thinking about me... but i don't get why she didn't call.

    I don't know if this whole "i'm not good at long distance" stuff is bs or what. She said she'll call today on the trip back from her parents. I'm still waiting on that call.

  4. #4
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    Also, if she doesn't call today, like she said she would. What should I do?

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    So are you both from the same area?
    But you moved for work?
    Have you met friends where you live? Any social life?

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    So are you both from the same area?
    But you moved for work?
    Have you met friends where you live? Any social life?
    I moved to Michigan to work for a fortune 500. She's in school (14 hours by car). She's currently doing an internship a state away from that school. She's living with her girlfriend from college currently.

    And I don't have a social life here. I'm by myself. I haven't met the type of people i click with yet at work. Its a small group in our division.

    But, I used to call her every day or every other day. She would call me every now and then, pretty much only during long car rides. I've heavily backed off from calling her. Now its only like every 3 - 4 days. Only bc she never calls.
    Also, she doesn't snapchat me anymore,... but she clearly snapchats other people because her score keeps going up.

  8. #7
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    I guess i would call her and ask for an honest conversation - say you want to keep dating her but you notice that your frequency of communication has been going down. You know that she is probably very busy with her program and honestly, long distance is hard to do, even for the most committed couples. Ask if she wants to continue dating you. If she says no, that's fine. If she says yes, then tell her you'll need more consistent communication to keep this thing going because it is hard to maintain a connection if you aren't seeing her in person regularly.

    For your social life - i'd recommend signing up for some clubs or outdoors hiking groups, sports groups, whatever you are interested. I've met a lot of friends in dance class myself. Try to do something that's not with your coworkers. I think that's good too, to not get too close to your coworkers so if you need to vent about a bad week at work, it;'s better to do so with people who don't work there.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by 10023711
    Also, if she doesn't call today, like she said she would. What should I do?
    I would let it fizzle out personally. LDR is a huge commitment for two people that don’t know each other very well.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by annie24
    I guess i would call her and ask for an honest conversation - say you want to keep dating her but you notice that your frequency of communication has been going down. You know that she is probably very busy with her program and honestly, long distance is hard to do, even for the most committed couples. Ask if she wants to continue dating you. If she says no, that's fine. If she says yes, then tell her you'll need more consistent communication to keep this thing going because it is hard to maintain a connection if you aren't seeing her in person regularly.

    For your social life - i'd recommend signing up for some clubs or outdoors hiking groups, sports groups, whatever you are interested. I've met a lot of friends in dance class myself. Try to do something that's not with your coworkers. I think that's good too, to not get too close to your coworkers so if you need to vent about a bad week at work, it;'s better to do so with people who don't work there.

    I already let her know like 5 days ago that we need to communicate more. And I mentioned to her yesterday that "in order for this to work, we'd have to talk more". I still haven't heard from her today, even though she said she'll call during the ride home.
    I don't know if she's trying to screw with my head, to make me want her more... or if she just isn't interested.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by maew
    I would let it fizzle out personally. LDR is a huge commitment for two people that don’t know each other very well.
    I really like her, and it would be really hard to find another girl like her. Not impossible, but really hard. Especially being in the area that i'm at now (detroit). She seemed to be crazy about me.
    Last edited by 10023711; 05-27-2019 at 10:36 PM.

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