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Thread: She Misses but Doesn't Call Me?

  1. #91
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    OP, unlike previous poster, I don't think any of this is "good" and no imo games are not "fun," except perhaps for those who fear emotional intimacy and commitment.

    For those folks (and not judging cause I feared emotional intimacy and commitment myself at one point in time) they are fun, for obvious reasons, but is this you? I don't think it is.

    For the rest us, games are confusing, dishonest and have a tendency to screw things up, including our heads. Which it appears you are experiencing right now.

    I don't think this is any fun for you at all - I've never thought that, despite your attempts to join her in her game-playing and/or shuffle her games and shyt tests under the rug.

    All in an effort to be this cool guy, which is dishonest, disingenuous, and not real.

    In my opinion, what you're doing is following her lead, somehow you think by doing this, and playing her game, you're somehow "scoring points" w her and will "win" her in the end.

    When in reality, what is actually happening (in her mind) is she is losing respect and seeing you as a man w very little boundaries and a bit of a doormat - who is willing to accept whatever bs she tosses you out of fear you will lose her.

    But you're very young, first relationship, you will learn from all this, that's the positive to take away.

    I wish you good luck moving forward.
    I was going to call her out for ignoring my snapchat

  2. #92
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    Originally Posted by 10023711
    I was going to call her out for ignoring my snapchat
    Call her out if you wish, if it will make you feel better, but then walk away.

    Seriously. All the games, all the bs, frankly it's just getting silly.

    Don't you think?

    Enough already, put a fork in it, it's so done.

    She simply needs to grow up, which will happen eventually and organically as she gets older and matures through time and experience.

    But for now? Nope, not happening.

  3. #93
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by 10023711
    I want a real relationship at this point.
    Great.

    If she was 35 or 40 the odds would be very slim that she would give you what you're hoping for here: someone who would commit to you after 2 months together knowing you wouldn't be in the same spot for a year. At 21? I'd say the same naivety that led her to make a promise of that magnitude under these circumstances is the same thing that's been bumming you out: a lack of maturity.

    What you want is very likely going to be found within an hour's drive of where you're sitting right now. That's a lesson—and a hard one, I know, to accept right now. But I think you'll find a lot more peace and happiness if you accept that than in trying to decode snapchats, let alone put up with moments during visits that only make you more jittery about this whole thing.

    In an ideal world, everyone means everything they say—and, should feelings change, they can express that cleanly and respectfully. That world, sadly, does not exist, which is why it's important to trust our guts and our own feelings as our guides. You've given this a very good, very honest try. You've talked to her about things, and have not gotten what you need. Be proud of that. Bending a bit is a good quality—it's how we explore, how we make compromises—but breaking from our true selves and needs is when things get ugly, when we wonder if we're wasting time.

    You're playing games you don't want to play. Been there, not all that long ago. Sadly, the way to stop playing them is to find someone who wants to play on your level, so it's not a game but the relationship and connection you want right now.

  4. #94
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    One thing a ta time. First establish an exclusive relationship. Do not start being clingy or controlling, insisting how, when and how how often she contacts you. Now is the time to date and get to know each other, so observe what you see and take it from there.
    Originally Posted by 10023711
    I was going to call her out for ignoring my snapchat

  5.  

  6. #95
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    I don’t see why making a joke about her nude sunbathing is such a big deal if you’re already having sex. My guess is she’s just not that into you, no offense, and this relationship isn’t going to last. Which is fine, most relationships don’t last. If you’re not having fun and you’re worrying more than enjoying, walk away. Only you can decide when that is (or she might decide for you).

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