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Thread: Think he is my other half but.....

  1. #11
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    When you are in a low place, you are at risk of seeing a connection that isn't really there. Having things in common is nice, but isn't a requirement for a good relationship, and even if you have that, is really only a starting place.

    Since it sounds like BOTH of you are in a low place, the intense attachment you both may feel or have felt probably has more to do with the holes you each have in your lives rather than any kind of soul mate nonsense. This kind of connection, especially when it appears in a lot of texting/chatting where it is very easy to read things into the text that aren't really there, and without being based on in person development, is a flimsy foundation.

    Looking at your phone every 5 minutes hoping for a response isn't love.

    It's anxiety.

    Try to focus on your exams for now and let the rest pass naturally.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    You can't make fantasies up about someone online.

    If it's real, he will be coming to see you or visa versa and you'll be spending time in person. It's literally been 3 weeks since you met this person and you think that's enough time to consider him your other half? It shows how inexperienced you are.

    He could be anyone and telling you lies. You can't know someone that fast and if it's not in person, then you really don't know what you're dealing with.

    Now he's basically ignoring you.

    Honestly, you need to find someone who lives near by and have an actual relationship and not made up.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Originally Posted by Andrina
    People who start LDRs both have barriers to connecting in real life with partners they can REALLY get to know. Or, the person has other issues that prevent them from connecting with a local partner that is kept hidden from a long distance person, or the person in the other country has an ulterior motive such as money, or getting a green card, etc.

    I limited myself to guys who lived within 45 minutes of my locality when I did OLD. I recommend that for a better catch and release program, allowing you to be free until you find someone who is worth keeping.
    I disagree. I dated guys locally and then one day met someone on my photography blog with whom I had way too many mutual hobbies, etc. We broke up after a few years, but regardless, the LDR didn't have anything to do with ulterior motives or troubles connecting to people in real life.

    To OP: Like others said, it's only been 3 weeks. He may seem like your other half, but it's just not possible to even know him at this early point. Focus on your studies and do your best to not stress so much over this too :)

  4. #14
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
    It's amazing how much you can have in common with someone you have never met. In reality, you probably have more in common with people you've never met...BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW THEM. What does "we have so much in common" actually mean? You both like music? You both drive cars? You both have mothers?
    The internet is a funny thing. There are formulas. Have you noticed the ads on your Facebook page? Do you see how they are geared toward you? Meeting a guy online is the result of the same type of thing. You were in the same cyberplace at the same time due to common interests.

    Maybe you should try to talk to people in person. You can still chat with him, but keep healthy boundaries. Don't put too much of yourself into it. And don't expect much from him--he is in a different country after all!


  6. #15
    Silver Member dion333's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    This is not real OP. It feels like it is, but he could be a 75 year old man for all you know. More than likely he will have lots of girls on the go and sometimes these guys are bisexual and have a couple of lads on the go at same time. They are playing everyone except themselves. They will come out with anything and everything to play there sick fantasy games or get sex. They often don't view people online as real people..so do whatever. there are so many players on there and liars it's unbelievable. Many of these people dont care if you get hurt as they have another one to choose from. If you are sensitive person or have pre mental issues e.g anxiety, then online dating can be a nightmare. Its very easy to 'fall in love' with the 'ideal prince' online. They are rarely ever princes ! Start dating REAL people near you and do yourself a big favor.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Originally Posted by ioanilo4
    Now i have no clue about what to do next...maybe i should talk to him about this? but im worried that this will make him feel bad...
    Maybe i should stop talking with him? even though this is something i totally dont want but i cant keep on feeling this way anymore...
    I want to be there for him but this situation is killing me...I feel like im too selfless and selfish at the same time.
    Sounds like you are prone to rumination. It's a natural response to a problematic situation, but as you see here, it can also cause anxiety and depression. You should try to develop an awareness of when it is happening. Sometimes rumination can distort your thoughts and affect your mood. Awareness will limit its power over you.

    I googled "why do people ruminate?" and this article showed up. It seems pretty informative.

    [Register to see the link]

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