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Thread: he broke up with me over phone, some advice??

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Your bf didn't like all the typical girl drama. Most guys do not.

    In the future, be careful with your words and know the harsh consequences from not thinking before you speak and write. Also, don't make your electronic contact excessive. Learn to back off.

    Also, I've since learned not to over do it with electronic communication when it comes to friendships and relationships. Same thing with long phone chats. Learn to do all of that at the bare minimum. In person contact is best. Whenever it goes overboard with texts, calls, chats, messenger and emails, people start to think of you as their ball 'n chain. They want to break free from the time trap you've created for them. Expecting instant replies and responses drains people and it is time consuming. They have a life, too. They need to get things done, remain productive and industrious yet they always have to have constant, endless contact with you. Give people breathing room and a break. Guys in particular want a lot of time and space. They don't want a girlfriend who is a dramatic nag because then you become a drag. They think you're a pain in the neck and bothersome. Practice enforcing healthy boundaries.

    Learn to seek your own independence even while you're in a relationship. Have a life of your own, workout, have your own friends, take good care of your health, have hobbies, interests, outings and enjoy an independent life. Be your own person. You'll make yourself more interesting and have that draw and appeal from others.

    Understand that in person togetherness is extra special because you keep the relationship fresh and prevent it from growing stale. Too much familiarity breeds contempt.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately, it is exhausting to deal with. Let him go. Never view yourself as a victim or as a person someone has to date or stay with out of pity. Never try to manipulate or guilt trip anyone into staying or being with you. Someone should want to love being with you.

    When you see your doctors, get a complete physical and explain that you feel sad, anxious, depressed, etc. See if they can help you with medication and therapy to build up your self esteem and for ongoing support. .

    In the mean time look to friends and family for support. Get more involved in life. Join some clubs, groups special interest organizations, sports etc. make more friends.
    Originally Posted by Juliaml20
    He said that it was tiring that I ask a lot of questions and if he gets angry I start to ask if we are ok or if he wants to break up. He said that is exhausting and is tired of deal with that kind of insecurities

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