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Thread: Too cool for me

  1. #1
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    Too cool for me

    I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and like him a lot. He has a personality that causes him to be very "chill" as he calls it. I see him once a week and find myself missing him a lot of the times. He can be so neglectful when I communicate what I want to improve between us; especially when it comes to him ignoring my calls and texts. Even on the weekend when he's just playing games and going out with friends. He says I'm too persistent with my calls and texts. I feel like I wouldn't be as persistent if he just acknowledged my efforts to communicate with him a bit more, and improved his communication in what he needs and wants. I don't know what would be the best way to accomplish this; be direct, or back way off and let him decide if I'm worth the trouble?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Cope's Avatar
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    You need to decide if he's worth the trouble.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    What does being "direct" mean? It sounds like you've already discussed this plenty, no?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    How often were you calling and texting?

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  6. #5
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    You might want to step back and reassess how compatible you two really are.

    Your communication styles are evidently very different, as your expectations of how much time you spend together. You have explained what level of contact you prefer. That's all you can do. If he is fine with low contact and less frequent communication, and you are not, you are not dating the right guy for you.

  7. #6
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    You are persistent because you choose to be. If someone seems to need space from you give that person who you are newly dating especially twice the space he seems to need. Texting more makes it much much worse. He should not ignore your calls if it has to do with a plan you’ve made to get together or if you’ve made a plan to speak at a specific time. If you mean “ignore” when you call while he is with his friends he’s not ignoring you. He’s socializing. And busy.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    It sounds like the two of you are simply not compatible. I would not be particularly happy with the arrangement you described either. It's okay to want more, but it's not okay to try to change someone else. You voiced your concerns and he has made his choices. It's time to let go of the fantasy and find someone who wants more communication and quality time with you.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Remember corpses are pretty "chill" also, but do you want to date one? He sounds more lazy/uninterested than "chill". Stop talking to a wall. Take action and stop hanging out if he's not planning some dates or initiating communication. You decide if you want a lazy child or a real bf. That's your decision, not his.
    Originally Posted by ArielPalermo
    He has a personality that causes him to be very "chill" as he calls it.

    especially when it comes to him ignoring my calls and texts. Even on the weekend when he's just playing games and going out with friends.

    back way off and let him decide if I'm worth the trouble?

  10. #9
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    I’m sorry you are going through this. I’m glad you reached out!! You sound like a really good communicator and it sounds like you’ve tried to express your feelings and needs to your boyfriend. You are not alone. I will be praying for you this week, for God’s direction in your circumstance and for peace with your decisions. You are worthy! Hugs.


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