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Thread: Boyfriend messaging escorts and prostitutes

  1. #1

    Join Date
    May 2019

    Boyfriend messaging escorts and prostitutes

    So I found myself on my boyfriendís work laptop over the weekend. Always said I wouldnít but curiously looked at his messages which are automatically linked with his phone. Before anyone says it, I totally know Iíve broken any form of trust by reading these messages.
    Iíve been seeing this guy for around 10months now. Iíve seen from his various social media that he follows porn like pages which is each to their own, he can follow what he pleases. I didnít think Iíd see anything when I looked through his messages (had no reason to think so).. But when I opened it up, there were conversation threads with escorts / and sex workers. Him asking what they provide as part of their service, him giving them his address to his apartment :( , how much it would cost, when they were available etc. Now there were a lot of messages from before we had started seeing each other. But there were so many from since weíve been together. All on weekends when I was out of town for the weekend or he was on nights out with his guy mates. Also some messages were from when I know heíd have been at work or I was round at his apartment. Iím obviously very hurt and shaken by what Iíve read. It took a lot of inner strength for me to confront him about it (Iíd been putting it off for hours). When I did confront him about it, he said it must have been when he was with his mates, that they do these pranks on each pother all the time. but that just doesnít add up as some of them were when he was at work or with me :(
    He also said that had he found these messages on my phone heíd feel the exact same as Iím feeling and feel hurt by it all and would demand to have answers too. He said he had nothing to hide from me and wants me to know everything. But them messages were very loud and clear on what he wanted.

    Is he just saying what I want to hear? Heís been very very forward with our relationship, telling me he wants to get married and have kids with me, buy a place together and have a future together. But why would he be messaging these escorts? Am I not good enough? I know I canít prove anything, canít prove that heís actually met and slept with any of these women, and can only go on his denials and him saying itís him and his guys playing pranks. But what if itís real? What if heís taken advantage of me being upset and worked his way out of it? Heís obviously (and understandably) never gonna let me know his work laptop again.

    Iím so confused. I donít know whether to believe him, Iím obviously going to be cautious. I wanted my life with this man and i feel itís all been thrown up in the air.

    What should I do????

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Either way, this situation is a HUGE red flag waving in your face that this guy is NOT marriage material!

    IF your boyfriend is telling you the truth (and that's a pretty big "if") he has demonstrated recklessness and a complete lack of maturity. He believes it's acceptable, at his age (I'm assuming he's at least in his 20's here) to "prank" escorts/prostitutes and to share his actual, personal information (i.e. his home address)? If so, this is certainly not a person you should consider tying yourself with in matrimony. This is behavior that no fully grown, mature man should see as acceptable or "funny". Moreover, by sharing his actual, personal information to complete strangers, he is demonstrating reckless, irresponsible decision-making that could land him in some serious trouble. Do you really want to marry a guy who sees no problem with sharing your actual address (and who knows what else) with a bunch of seedy people over the internet?

    Personally, I have a feeling that your boyfriend is not being completely honest with you. However, his actual explanation is a red flag in and of itself. In your position I would cut my losses and break it off with this man-child. Any guy who views this kind of behavior as acceptable (and, presumably, will continue in the behavior since he sees nothing wrong with it) is not the kind of guy I would want to marry much less trust to be in charge of raising our kids.

  3. #3
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    I would be getting an STI check and kicking his azz to the curb.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Almost every liar will come up with lame excuses when put on the spot. Then they wait and see if you buy into it.

    On the off chance it was his friends goofing on prostitutes, why the high numbers? If you wanted to believe him, I'd say they'd think it's funny once, maybe twice. But seriously, grown men have better things to do with their time together rather than using his account multiple times over the course of a year or more.

    That coupled with his interest on social media. I don't know what else you need to know to come to a conclusion on this one, short of catching him off guard and asking to see his banking records. . .but why?
    Last edited by reinventmyself; 05-29-2019 at 02:27 PM.


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