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Thread: Another Dog Situation

  1. #31
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    It doesnít matter if you rehome the dog. Your wife will want another one. So itís dog or your wife.

    You knew this going in - you knew this was important to her. At the end of the day, this is on you.

  2. #32
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Not important enough to her to take care of it evidently. The dog isn't what's important to her. Having a creature as a toy is.

    Rehome it. Put your foot down. She wants to be a child, let her do it on someone else's watch. With any luck, another man who loves and respects dogs more than her can pick up for her slack and lack of humanity will provide a dog that would otherwise be ill-fated in her care a decent life.

  3. #33
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    Not important enough to her to take care of it evidently. The dog isn't what's important to her. Having a creature as a toy is.

    Rehome it. Put your foot down. She wants to be a child, let her do it on someone else's watch. With any luck, another man who loves and respects dogs more than her can pick up for her slack and lack of humanity will provide a dog that would otherwise be ill-fated in her care a decent life.
    Maybe I missed it, but I donít see where the dog had a bad life. Just an owner who doesnít care for it.

    I also donít see where sheís being a child. So it hasnít been trained yet. Are we getting the whole story? are we sure OP has nothing to do with that?

  4. #34
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Not one but two who don't care for it, indicative from its behavior and the wife's stated attitude, blaming the OP for the non-functional poodle he somehow deprived her of. Baby wanted her toy poodle an didn't get it. Meanwhile she can't take are of what she's got. Classic child behavior.

    OP has expressed being very vocal over getting a new dog. It is in fact *not* shame on him for the wife making a conscious decision to introduce an innocent puppy into a home she very well knew would be apprehensive toward its existence within. OP has been straight forward about an unwillingness to be an active and responsible party for the dog, which if the wife's IQ exceeds double digits would be considered intrinsic. OP is at fault for taking on a wife who, at least insofar as she's entertained by them, is a "dog person." The wife is at fault for going the extra four football fields and introducing a dog into a hostile household. So you've got two grossly irresponsible parties, though one of which (the OP) has at least never claimed or hoped to be one with regard to a dog. OP's sin leads to a pissed off wife. Wife's sin leads to an innocent dog getting thrown into the mix. I without hesitation weigh hers more heavily. And going by the fact she was breed shopping, I doubt it was even a dog being spared a rough life at the shelter. Just one being milled out for her entertainment's sake.

    Rehome the dog while it's still young enough to have a chance. Don't encourage people to roll weighed dice keeping innocent animals in this kind of situation.

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  6. #35
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    I'm trying to get my head around a partnership where one decrees something and the other goes along as though they will be done inevitably.
    I'll have to tell my guy he has some falling in line to do lol.

    Seriously, getting this puppy now made zero sense. You weren't on board, you are both stressed out and exhausted as is. So let's throw the family, including kids and pets you already have, in chaos cause mom waaannts a pup!? What?

    I can't help but think of an ex of my bros, they were serious and had lived together many years. They were talking marriage, but the relationship was starting to come undone. In the midst of this, she tells him she wants a kitten. He says no, doesn't make sense right now. She had a dog and a cat she had brought into the relationship. He was fine with that, even though he wouldn't have chosen it had they not already been in her life. He loves animals, but doesn't mean he has to have pets at all times.
    They were living far away at this time, and then my mom got very ill. He had moved there for his career, so he had all this stress.
    And sure enough, she comes home one day with a kitten. Turned out the kitten was I'll too, as she was in a rush and got the little one from a random ad/house.
    Odd how the relationship kept plummeting, eh?

    It's your relationship that is a problem here. The puppy is another casualty on the hill of resentments, and the attitude of ' how do I eat this further resentment' isn't going to fix it. Just my opinion you need to actually address the dynamic where resentment and power plays have become normal.

  7. #36
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    OP sounds like he expected to never get another dog. Shame on him if thatís the case - thatís what I mean. He met her when she had a dog, so itís reasonable to expect sheíll want another dog.

  8. #37
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    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    OP sounds like he expected to never get another dog. Shame on him if thatís the case - thatís what I mean. He met her when she had a dog, so itís reasonable to expect sheíll want another dog.
    I dunno.

    That's how the relationship rules get applied to motorcycles at least.

    Why shouldn't it work on dogs?

  9. #38
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by batso1340
    I dunno.

    That's how the relationship rules get applied to motorcycles at least.

    Why shouldn't it work on dogs?
    What?!

    This makes no sense. If what you're saying is the "rule" is that once a motorcycle dies or is sold another one does not replace itótoo dangerous, too juvenileóthan that's a rule a couple makes together, not something Moses carved into granite.

    Plenty of motorcycle riders plan on buying another bike, and another, until they die. Were my girlfriend and I to get married tomorrow she would be marrying a man who planned to always have a motorcycle. She knows this. If she had concernsóif marriage was predicated on me selling the bike or giving up biking once it diedówe would discuss it, coming up with a "rule" that worked for both of us. And if we couldn't? We would not get married.

    You have an oddly passive approach about this whole thing, as if it is all something that has "happened" to you when in fact it's a choice you made with your wife. You don't like that choice, I get it, but I agree with itsallgrand that the puppy is a proxy right now for things you don't like about your relationship.

  10. #39
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    Geez, relax already!

    With the bike thing she does have a point, I'm pretty good at falling off the things.


    Back to dogs...

  11. #40
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    Last I checked no spouse has to clean up motorcycle poop or get up to walk it because the motorcycle rider won't do it. Not a good analogy.

    But if were to use a parallel construct, i would guess that the motorcycle rider doesn't even want the spouse to touch the machine!

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