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Thread: Getting Walked on By an Aggressive Panhandler

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    You are taking this one isolated episode awfully hard, which usually indicates there's a lot of built-up resentment over other things.

    Could you have said no? Sure. But is your compliance necessarily a reflection of an overall weak character or personality flaw? No.

    I would challenge you to think about what this event triggered in you, and why. I doubt your self-loathing is connected to just this incident. What else has been going on that has you feeling so low?
    I've built up a decent amount of savings over the past couple of years. The goal of that savings is to move out and away. Lately, my father and I have moved into yet another apartment together and with that came quite a bit of expenses. The last thing I need right now is to have some random stuff come chipping away at my funds. Plus, he really reminded me of my Dad, lookswise.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    Jay, why exactly did you feel pressured to buy this bum a beer? Do you give off vibes of being an easy target? You need to stand your ground and not let people take advantage of you.

    When he said, "You got this, right?" you should have just smiled at him and said, "No I don't" and proceeded with your purchase. If he continued to press the matter, you could threaten to call the police.
    Guy came up to me out of nowhere and was standing right there next to me. That alone kinda scared me. Plus, yeah in all honesty, I didn't want a physical altercation, especially over a $2 can of beer. That or the possibility of losing a fight, winning one but still getting wounded or just being arrested for being in one, especially with a (near) senior citizen? I dunno.
    And I was in a rush to get home. I was already running errands for my Dad, which was why I was out there anyway. Oddly enough I ran into two very long lights, like fate wanted me to really mull over the situation.

  3. #13
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    Dude, just say, sorry, I can't . This is not a big deal! That is it!
    Good grief! No one is going to fight you if you do not buy them beer, or give them money. You have taken
    this scenario to the extreme.
    You need to chill out.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Dude, just say, sorry, I can't . This is not a big deal! That is it!
    Good grief! No one is going to fight you if you do not buy them beer, or give them money. You have taken
    this scenario to the extreme.
    You need to chill out.
    Come on. Youíre being harsh. People freeze in situations like this all the time. I guarantee youíve frozen - everyone does.

    OP, youíll do better next time it happens. I agree with your analysis, donít make a big deal over $2 beer for now, and be prepared for the next time a strange situation like this happens.

    And Holly, an altercation MAY happen. Where I live, people have been shot for cutting someone off in traffic. A homeless man once stood at my car and asked for money and eventually showed me an oozing wound. I gave him money to leave me alone, because I couldnít tell if he was threatening me. The world is a scary place and sometimes itís good to just take the easy route out.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    Come on. Youíre being harsh. People freeze in situations like this all the time. I guarantee youíve frozen - everyone does.

    OP, youíll do better next time it happens. I agree with your analysis, donít make a big deal over $2 beer for now, and be prepared for the next time a strange situation like this happens.

    And Holly, an altercation MAY happen. Where I live, people have been shot for cutting someone off in traffic. A homeless man once stood at my car and asked for money and eventually showed me an oozing wound. I gave him money to leave me alone, because I couldnít tell if he was threatening me. The world is a scary place and sometimes itís good to just take the easy route out.
    He was in the store on front of a bunch of people, not in a dark alley. I do not think that this guy had anything to fear. One simply says, no, I am sorry. This was blown all out of proportion.

    Dogs, i live in NYC and deal with this situation, every day. I do not know anyone that has had an incident where they were assaulted for not giving money in a public place. Ever,

    Cutting someone off in traffic is a different situation, and people can get crazy in their cars. I am very careful when driving. Totally different situation. I would not have rolled my window down for that guy, that can be dangerous.. Your lucky something did not happen.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    He was in the store on front of a bunch of people, not in a dark alley. I do not think that this guy had anything to fear. One simply says, no, I am sorry. This was blown all out of proportion.
    And no crimes are ever committed in front of people... and no, you NEVER freeze... and no, no one ever posts a thread that is blown out of proportion here...

    Geeze. I think youíre the one that needs to calm down here.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    And no crimes are ever committed in front of people... and no, you NEVER freeze... and no, no one ever posts a thread that is blown out of proportion here...

    Geeze. I think youíre the one that needs to calm down here.
    Whatever..

  9. #18
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Getting Walked on By an Aggressive Panhandler

    I didnít roll my window down. He was standing at my car as I walked out with my groceries.

    A guy got assaulted by a homeless man during the rush hour commute on the way to his train in my old city. The guy hit him with a skateboard and almost took his ear off along with other head trauma. Another one of my coworkers had to eat all liquid food through a straw because a homeless man broke her jaw.

    It happens. To say it doesnít is naive.

    I think the risk is lower in a grocery store. Sure. But out of the realm of possibility? No.

    Oh, so itís justified to kill someone who cuts you off? Thatís a reasonable reaction? My point is that people are not reasonable. Getting cut off is angering, but does not warrant violence.

  10. #19
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    I agree with Mustlovedogs and have similar examples.

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    I didnít roll my window down. He was standing at my car as I walked out with my groceries.

    A guy got assaulted by a homeless man during the rush hour commute on the way to his train in my old city. The guy hit him with a skateboard and almost took his ear off along with other head trauma. Another one of my coworkers had to eat all liquid food through a straw because a homeless man broke her jaw.

    It happens. To say it doesnít is naive.



    I think the risk is lower in a grocery store. Sure. But out of the realm of possibility? No.

    Oh, so itís justified to kill someone who cuts you off? Thatís a reasonable reaction? My point is that people are not reasonable. Getting cut off is angering, but does not warrant violence.
    I stand corrected. I still don't think that this guy was going to get violent in a grocery store.

    I never said that cutting off people in a car warranted violence. I don't know where you got that. I said, that people get more nuts in their cars.

    If you want to contribute to everyone who asks you for beer or drug money, go ahead. It's not my money.

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