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Thread: Love

  1. #1

    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    2

    Love

    Hi, I'm looking for advice and anything you can offer. Huge warning that this may be incredibly long.

    My girlfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. She is a magnificent girlfriend and indescribably the best I could ever have. I am a very logical person and I am well composed in emotional situations, so saying she is the best is a very very very bold statement on a planet full of different people. I know I might be called ignorant for thinking that but regardless, perhaps I may no longer have a grip over my emotions. I suppose you can decide.

    My background wasn't that great, I would say for the majority I was seen as sociable and outgoing but I was depressed and deep down I was not a very strong person but I understand logic and seek reasoning whenever I can and try to stay strong.
    I had a previous girlfriend who I did let emotion take the better of me and it was ugly. She gave me a lot but also took a lot from me. I will not go into details but it was scarring and towards the end of it, it was toxic and while I was understanding of her situations she was not understanding of mine and that alone made me realise that she wasn't the one.

    My current girlfriend knew everything about me through friends and everything else through me. I fully trust her. We became friends a year ago and I was immeasurably depressed that it showed and I no longer cared. We were still friends and we both had a crush on each other but never knew.
    I'll save the details in between but feel free to ask if you are interested as it might help but hence fourth. I had a close friend who was also close friends with my girlfriend, that I truly trusted. If you asked her yo not tell a single soul of something so viciously dangerous, she would not tell a soul. She knew (we'll call my Girlfriend Cade) Cade liked me but gave no sign or indication she knew a thing.
    I told my close friend a lot of my life, the more depressing parts. I wanted to end it all one night after careful thought and wanted to see my close friend one last time and share some memories. I had not told a single soul for months that I liked Cade and in that moment I decided to say that I had a crush on Cade. My friend grasped and encouraged me to try. I was clueless at the time if she had been hinting that Cade also liked me. I suddenly felt like I should shoot my shot. My life literally did a 180. My life improved dramatically as I flirted with her and went to hangout. Eventually I confessed and she confessed too. Ever since then she has been truly amazing and I have loved life like I have never before not just because of her but because of what she's done for me and she loves me for what I have done for her. There has been a few down moments because she had insecurities about the past, that she was just my second choice and that I'm stuck with her. This has only come up a few times (2 to 3) and I reassure her.

    Now I believe I can start to begin to talk about the present. I recently turned 20. Being 19 with no idea what to do, doing a law degree and a conjoint property degree, I really had no idea what I wanted to do. My motivation lacked but I did it for the sake of doing it. I met amazing people come and go as well as stay but I still felt like I was lost.
    Cade comes into my life and sets my straight. I was a broken mess and she fined tuned me to the person I am today. I still study for learning but not just for the sake of it but because I want to and I am in the process of joining the Police force that takes up to a year to get into. I am going somewhere with my life and I have loved making my Cade smile and exploring whatever we can together. She has been there for my ups and downs and I am forever grateful for such a magnificent human being.

    I know I am young, and you may not agree with my train of thought and I respect your opinion and I hope you can respect the way I think too.
    Recently she feels she is a nuisance, that her insecurities have gone worse and she hates it when I am sad because she is also sad but I love her to the point where I am happy to be there for her whenever she needs me. She believes it come from her mother, though her mother is very nice to others she can be depressed, suicidal at times and bringing up things that happened 20 years ago. I know that it was not my place to share that but I feel it is imperative. Cade believes she will also go down that same path, that she wants to leave me to prevent that from happening to us. Her father is still with her mother and he puts up with everything but even he is the enabler but he is the better of the two. Her mother doesn't think rationally. Cade is afraid she will be like her mother, that she sees signs of it already, she feels hurt about the things that happened so long ago with me. She hates that she feels this way and she doesn't understsnd why but she doesn't want to drag me into the mess too despite me telling her that I assure her of everything I can. She wants to break up but I know she is extremely hesistant and doesn't want to. We do not usually tell each other I love you, because we believe in showing it to each other. We let friendship be the foundation of our love for each other and thats why it has worked so well. Both our parents are aware of the relationship and are on good terms with each others parents and I stay at her house often because they allow me to.

    Last night we talked about it and shes set that she thinks she will become her mother. I reassured where I could. We cuddled and slept. The next morning she was getting ready for University and she told me she loved me. I told her I loved her too. It was hard and it was the first time because we know how serious love is and we both cried because it might've been the end. I told her that I'll see her soon. She left for University and I made her bed and left her note telling her that this wasn't the end and I'll see her soon.

    I hope its a clear enough picture for you to understand, I know its very cluttered and maybe difficult to understand but I hope you managed. I suppose any advice you could give be appreciated. Thank you for reading through such a long story.

    Kind regards to you.

  2. #2
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Age
    31
    Posts
    16
    Ok. Looks like you went to different colleges end of story.

    You're not going to follow her. She chose to go to a different college than you.

    This whole thing about her being afraid of being like her mother who is suicidal and depressed...

    If you're going to be a cop. Please grow the balls to tell her she's not going to end up like her mother as long as you're around.

    If this is what cops are like these days I fear for our country.

    She's also got a father. And if her mother is depressed and suicidal he's obviously not doing the job.

    I'm on anti depressants after trying to kill myself about 15 times or more in my life.

    She can always get on antidepressants.

    I also listen to hypnosis videos on YouTube that are geared towards success and dispelling negativity. It works better than witchcraft.

    You're going to have to find a new girl now.

    I recommend that you assure the new girl that you're going to be her rock.

    You've got to be a rock.

    You're going to have the pulse of the country in your hands as a cop.

    Enjoy your twenties man.

    I do respect you as a twenty year old. Just don't think you've got to be some sort of cookie cutter.

    Logic is great, but youre going to need some tight bound stressed out muscles if you're going to have a girl on your arm crying because she thinks she's going to be suicidal around you.

    You've got to slash out a path through this jungle for the both of you not just yourself. She'll follow you and believe everything you say if she wants to make it through. You're going to have to rip her away from that suicidal mother so that she doesn't radiate hell into her brain. Or you've got to get some balls on to that father if it's not impossible so that that other isn't suicidal even though she's been living with him for 20+ years.

    If you're logical you've got to think. Why is this, and how can it be fixed.

    Don't forget vitamins, psychiatric drugs, hypnosis, and legal hormones. They can change anyone.

    Godspeed officer


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