Concern for a friend

I have a friend who is becoming increasingly dillusional and paranoid. She is consumed with thoughts and obsessive thinking that are not rational yet she believes them to be 100% true . She has already attempted suicide. All her friends and family are concerned and have tried to help her and get her help. But in her mind she knows her thoughts are true and no one will believe her! Is there anything any of us can do to get her help?

I suspect she has paranoid schizophrenia or she's using drugs. Next time she has an episode or threatens suicide or you feel she is a danger to herself, call 911. They will get the treatment she needs.

I know some laws are in place that family can legally commit a mentally ill family member if that are a danger to themselves or to others. The way to do this is to contact the family doctor to set things up.

I have a friend who is becoming increasingly dillusional and paranoid. She is consumed with thoughts and obsessive thinking that are not rational yet she believes them to be 100% true . She has already attempted suicide. All her friends and family are concerned and have tried to help her and get her help. But in her mind she knows her thoughts are true and no one will believe her! Is there anything any of us can do to get her help?

Can you please explain how they have tried to help and more importantly, how they have tried to get her help?

How old is this person? If they are a minor they can be placed in hospital by the parents for observation. If they are an adult, it's much harder to have someone committed. Call 911 if they are being irrational/suicidal.

Be careful with certain friends. I know a lot of people have good intentions to help. I was like this more than a few times. The problem is other people's problems become your problems and you'll get stuck in hero mode. Your life becomes stressful because in many ways, you feel responsible for fixing other people's lives. Many people have insurmountable problems and while you want to help, these waif type people begin to be a real drag.

My mother gave me advice regarding this a few years ago when I tried so hard to help my neighbor who married an alcoholic and my cousin who was in a hopeless situation. My mother said you have to let people live their own lives and their problems are NOT your responsibility. You have to focus and concentrate on your own life, know your healthy boundaries with others and surround yourself with people just like you are such as normal, secure and content people.

You can guide and lead troubled people in the right direction such as various organizations, local authorities and facilities but don't go overboard. Know where to draw the line with others. If you get too immersed in other people's lives, they'll consume you which is mentally and physically unhealthy for you.

She is 55. She will not take any medications for anything. She is afraid of side affects. She is not on any drugs. She is going to counselling because of the attempted suicide. She says counselling is not working. She is obsessed and paranoid about only one thing. She doesn't hear voices. As far as helping her. Her friends and family try to reason with her about her dillusions. I have been very careful to not allow myself to get sucked into her stuff. However what I saw the other day causes me to fear for the target of her paranoia and illusions thinking. But I have nothing I can say to the police that would consider her a threat. So I wondered if someone had any ideas. I think I can only pray but I will feel terrible if she hurt someone and or herself and I could have done something to prevent it.

Well its a waste of time trying to reason with someone who is in the throws of paranoia so instead of trying to do that, they should call the local mental health organization where they live and get advice (and perhaps a 72 hour lock down so a psychiatrist can deal with her delusions and get her on the proper meds before she harms herself or others) If she is threatening someone then please report her to the police or a mental health authority. Do you know how many mental patients have threatened to shot up their school or work place BEFORE they actually do it?

She is 55 years old and already sought counseling. It's her life, not yours. There is nothing wrong with praying and praying is a heck of a lot more than what most people would be willing to do. Don't guilt trip yourself into thinking it's your fault should your friend do as she will. Your friend controls her life and her decisions are hers alone and no one else. You can call the police and ask for their advice. They have resources and contacts. They know community outreach type help. At the same time, know your limits. Don't get emotionally attached and concentrate on your own well being and life.

Has she been diagnosed?

You need to avoid her. Step out of and away from this situation. Sadly her family and friends have had no success/influence in helping her. She is going to counselling, this counselor is her contact point. However at 55 it's sad that her doctors are not doing a better neurological workup.

She is 55. . She is going to counselling because of the attempted suicide.