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Thread: Lacking Mutual Respect?

  1. #1

    Lacking Mutual Respect?

    My boyfriend is off for 4 days and I had made plans for one of the days and just told him that we could stuff the other days, would you feel upset that I didn’t ask if we had any weekend plans before I made one? This past Tuesday it bothered him too cause we’re usually together but I was going to class. Ended up staying with him anyway but is it me? Or is he being sensitive?

  2. #2
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    How long have you been dating?

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    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    How often do you see one another? If you see each other often then I'd say he is being a drama queen. If you rarely get to see one another then I'd say you would have been inconsiderate to not see him when the chance arose. You ended up caving to him anyway so I have to ask: Do you cave to his whims often? Does he often pitch a hissy fit if you want to go out with your friends?

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    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    He needs a talk. Tell him that you making plans for one day without him doesn't make him less of a priority to you. There is nothing wrong with having some me time to do your own thing once in awhile. In fact time apart makes you appreciate him even more. Hopefully he has the common sense to understand that. If not he's one clingy dude and that is not good. If he's guilting you about it, making you feel like the bad guy, that isn't love, that's controlling behavior, which falls under the abuse category.

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  6. #5
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    I think it's also dependent on what your "normal" is. Do you guys always spend the weekends/days off together and it's assumed that you're going to be doing something together unless otherwise stated? If that's the case, then it's probably cool just give the other person a heads up that you made other plans. That said, giving him a heads up is more of a courtesy/consideration rather than a requirement because at the end of the day, you both should have life outside of the relationship too.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I think to err on the side of caution, clear communication is extremely important so there are no guessing games nor misunderstandings whatsoever. There is no need for drama. If you have plans, tell him about it. Be very articulate. No one can read each others minds. I don't think it's about being sensitive. It's about not knowing what the other person is thinking and not letting the other person know exactly what the ideas or plans are in the first place. Never go ahead and make plans without letting the other person know what the plan is. This way, you won't get your wires crossed.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Lack of communication. It's that simple. Just text your ideas/plans and ask if he likes the idea. Also run your plans/ schedule by him. If you are busy, have class whatever why not just text what's going on?

    Sounds a little haphazard when it comes to planning dates and spending time together. Get organized and communicate more about time spent together. Neither of you should presume things, nor just pencil someone in without communicating about it.
    Originally Posted by Leesee0702
    feel upset that I didn’t ask if we had any weekend plans before I made one? This past Tuesday it bothered him too cause we’re usually together but I was going to class.


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