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Thread: She broke up with me over something I did wrong. Feeling awful about it.

  1. #21
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    Oh, dear.

    You're going to learn the hard way that this girl isn't the one for you. And you'll only get it after she breaks up with you again.

  2. #22
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    Yep so true. Good luck OP. You are going to.need it sadly.

  3. #23
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    "I run away when I get close to something" is not something you want to hear a prospective partner say.

  4. #24
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    I can understand why people donít think this is a good idea given everything I have said and what has happened. Iím a little unsure myself.

    However we have spoke about it and made amends. We both see it from each others side. She understands she has over reacted and that simply talking about what happened was the best approach. I have agreed it wonít happen again. Weíll meet at the weekend and see how it goes.

    She called me after work today and we got on like we did before this happened. Weíre just talking at the moment and seeing where it leads.

    I hope it goes back to being together. She has recognised she needs help and I said I will support her with that.

  5.  

  6. #25
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    POF is a free dating service and there is no "subscription" to cancel, unless she paid but I don't see her being the type to pay $9/month.
    Ill be honest with you. She has not changed, she has not seen the light, she has not amended her past. This action comes with time and reflection and with professional help or with help in general.
    What you are seeing is a professional play with you. I told you in another post she tells you exactly what you want to hear and you wanted justification and you got exactly what you wanted. You were off the rollercoaster ride and you were free and clear but decided to get back on.
    So any pain, confusion, sadness, arguments, sleepless nights, fights, you have from this day forward is because you wanted it. This might be a case of careful what you wish for, you just might get it. Good luck to you

  7. #26
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    Hey all. Not sure if anyone will read this but an update.

    So I went and saw her June 2nd. We spoke and set boundaries. Agreed to get back together and she said she wanted something long term. She was all over me like nothing had happened between us. She also said she would let people know weíre back together.
    Her flatmate came home early and we explained we are back together.

    Back to the phonecalls and I love you from her throughout the week. All back to normal. See her the following weekend. 8th and 9th June. All normal and we go back to having sex. She is very sexual with me that weekend.

    Following Friday 14th I go to see her before she goes away on holiday. Seems fine with me and normal. We have sex that night but she says she hurts halfway through so I put a stop to it. We speak afterwards and she tells me how her dad use to beat her and her siblings.

    Wake up the next day. She doesnít want to really talk to me or want me near her. Exactly how she was last year when I broke up with her. All day she is off with me. I get her to talk to me and she tells me she is gay again. She says she will always prefer women. She says she wants me in her life as her male best friend and that she loves me and misses me but in the sense of just friends. I agreed to be friends.

    I stayed the night on a separate mattress and she went off on holiday and sent me pictures and videos of the holiday.

    We stayed in touch and agreed to meet up last weekend. 29th and 30th June. We just hung out and played video games and watched TV. We get on very well when hanging out. It got late so I ended up staying. We talked for over an hour about everything. I said how this had made me feel and that I still love her and care about her. She said she cares about me too but she just wants to be with women. She doesnít want a man.

    She told me how outspoken her dad was about her sexuality and now she has moved out she can do what she wants. I think I was used to keep her entertained while she was living at home. Her dad ignored her when she was with a girl previously. She got fairly teary eyed during this conversation.

    She said the next girl will be lucky to have me and that she doesnít deserve my friendship. She admitted she used me to work out who she was and she knows she has hurt me.
    She said she will be gutted if I wasnít in her life.
    She said I can be the best man at her wedding. I have noticed this pattern of saying weird things like that.

    We then agreed to be friends but I have said if I need space I will let her know. Afterwards I was an idiot and asked if we could have sex one more time. She sat there and didnít say no but was unsure. I said if she didnít want to we wonít. We sat quietly for a bit and then she agreed. Saying be passionate and no talking. We had sex for a bit and then she stopped it saying it felt wrong as she only likes women.

    She was totally cool about the sex and I said I was worried it would change things but she said it doesnít and she knows how it feels to be horny and wanting it. So weíre all good there.

    Woke up the next day she was normal with me and we watched TV and had a laugh. I left at 1pm Sunday on good terms. We have messaged a little back and forth since.

    I know she is already talking to someone new. A girl called Kayleigh I think. She kept making sure I couldnít see her phone screen when I was hanging out with her and iíve noticed she is on Whatsapp till late.

    I feel so so stupid for getting back with her. Everyone was saying she would dump me again soon and I didnít listen. I am now depressed and seeking psychiatric help. I plan to go back to the gym, learn to drive, take up a martial art and join the police.

    I donít think she will ever change. Sheíll jump from partner to partner just sleeping about and not being able to maintain a relationship. She doesnít look after herself and never will. I have encouraged her to get back on her anti depressants and seek professional help but she seems reluctant.

    Will just have to see how this friendship goes as we get on well just hanging out and talking but a relationship is a big no no for us.

    Thank you for your time.

  8. #27
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    I remember this. Personally I'm not so sure remaining friends will help you recover but it's your life. Good luck and I hope you move on soon.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this happened. Walk away. Find a straight woman who is clear on what she wants in general and clear about wanting to date you in particular. Don't chase phantoms.

  10. #29
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    I think trying to hang out with her and "being friends" is a mistake when by your own admission you are still in love with her.

    What happens if she invites you over to hang out and Kayleigh or some other woman is there, snuggling up to her and exchanging kisses and calling each other pet names? Would you feel awkward? Jealous? Hurt?

  11. #30
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    Remember what I said. Any pain you feel is because you wanted it. If you remain 'friends' with her, will be asking for more pain daily. But if that is what you want, Good luck to you.

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