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Thread: Why Iím faking my social media life/alcohol dependence for social life

  1. #1
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    Why Iím faking my social media life/alcohol dependence for social life

    Lately Iíve been struggling with my purpose and have been striking out with the few women Iíve asked out/went on dates with.

    Iíve been focusing on social media and trying to show myself to be more of value. Itís almost to the point where I plan the end of my week to do things so I can show it on social media.

    Like this weekend I want to go to the beach just so I can vlog it. Itís like Iím craving attention. The attention mostly from one girl. I need to get out more but I feel like Iím just gonna do it just so I can show it off.

    This girl I met on vacation and I have been talking sorta. I want to meet up and she wants to too apparently but from her actions sheís not trying to at all. I set dates but she just doesnít respond until I post something on social media usually of me/me drinking or selfies. I donít want to fake my social media but I take pictures of potential hobby interest like surfing which I want to do but also because I think it would make me more cool. Is that wrong?

    She thinks Iím a fun guy who does what I want. If she knew the truth she would completely uninterested. I only travel because of my job which I hate. I want to go to college but Iím afraid of being that broke college student in his 20s.

    But I crave the attention from this girl/ other girls and I want to see her but sheís just to difficult. When it comes to girls I let them live and come to me. While Iím doing that with this girl while portraying my interest by trying to see her it just seems like itís all me and not her. Itís straight in my face her low interest yet Iím still putting myself in the same spot. It feels like Iím doing everything to get her attention. Tho I donít portray it at all. I give a lot of space but I always respond.

    I want to have an idgaf attitude when it comes to rejection and people who arenít into me. Iím just unhappy with my life. I want to be that genuine fun person who goes surfing and goes to the beach. While I do want to do these things at the end of the day I feel that need to post on social media.

    Any advice on going out alone. I think Iím developing an addiction to alcohol a bit. I like drinking it makes me the person I want to be.

    Going to college in the fall so Iím gonna have to make new friends but whenever I donít drink I feel so nervous about speaking to people. When I drink Iím the complete opposite(not drunk only takes two/three beers to get that way) but thatís how it starts addiction right. Also my current friends kinda suck and we donít have the same interest. They never wanna go out and do new things itís always bowling and eating. Still afraid of going out alone to clubs tho it eases after I start drinking.

    I feel like I need to let this girl go. At the same time I donít want to ignore her or mess up potential plans to see her again. I always wait for her to text me. Depressing because Iím just waiting days for it. Until I post on social media. Scarcity mindset. It would cost 500-600$ just to meet up with this girl so itís kinda a big deal to communicate. Sheís just so freaking hot and Iím so attracted to her and her personality that itís hard to ignore her. She may just be using me as attention or just has low interest. Plus I think to myself what would even come of us if we do meet. Me leaving and her going back to low contact while I fall for her more. Yikes! Need to develop that idc attitude.



    Btw 6 months post break up with ex. Think about her everyday. Last week she was really on my mind a lot. Got through it tho. I miss that shared connection but not much me and hers connection.

    Thank you.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I think you need some serious therapy to sort yourself out. You sound like a shallow 15 yr old girl who is doing things for attention and gets upset when she doesnt get the desired result. It's good you see you are doing these things but your dependence on social media and now alcohol are troubling. Especially the drinking.

    Please get some help, this is no way to live your life. Also, leave that girl alone, she's not interested in you.

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    I think you need some serious therapy to sort yourself out. You sound like a shallow 15 yr old girl who is doing things for attention and gets upset when she doesnt get the desired result. It's good you see you are doing these things but your dependence on social media and now alcohol are troubling. Especially the drinking.

    Please get some help, this is no way to live your life. Also, leave that girl alone, she's not interested in you.
    That comparison is eye opening. Social media is such a huge role in todayís society. Itís like a game Iím trying to figure out how to play. Iím just gonna do the things I want to do. If I post something about it then itís whatever.

    Yeah sheís just not into me.

  4. #4
    Bronze Member LootieTootie's Avatar
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    I think you are going thru a phase... that phase of trying to compensate for your loss/void by being "fun, active, interesting" on social media.

    I would say stop caring about posting and looking fun. Take a long hiatus from social media and focus on real life.

    Good luck with college! You will find more variation of people on campus.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Austino96
    That comparison is eye opening. Social media is such a huge role in todayís society. Itís like a game Iím trying to figure out how to play. Iím just gonna do the things I want to do. If I post something about it then itís whatever.

    Yeah sheís just not into me.
    Social media can be big in your life if you let it. You dont have to follow what goes on on facebook etc. Take a long break, maybe go as far as to delete your account(s) and free yourself from having to be someone you arent for people you dont even know. Work on being you. College will probably be very good for you.

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    I think you've got the wrong idea. Social media is not actually a game. Sure, it's an outlet to show yourself off but if you're actually pretending and fabricating this "perfect life", that is fake. At the end of the day YOU know it's not real and it's not really your life.

    A lot of people seem to think that to chase someone they're interested in, they have to "play the game". I actually don't believe in any of that. I think if someone is actually attracted to you and likes you, you won't have to play any games at all. I've been with my fiance for nearly two years and we did not have to play any games with each other at all and were very upfront about who we are. This is because we genuinely had a good connection and liked each other.

    I think if someone is not into you, it really makes no difference what you put on social media. In fact you have a very good example of that right here because that is EXACTLY what is happening with the girl you're chasing. She doesn't want to meet you and nothing you've been doing on social media is not helping. That is because she's NOT interested. I think it's time you got the hint.

    Sorry but you do sound shallow and immature. You are in your twenties, it's time to stop acting like a teenager. Why are you so obsessed with social media? You have a real life outside of that computer screen and maybe you should work on actually improving that life. And you're obsessing about this girl just because she's hot. I don't think you even really know her? So you're just crazy about her looks and not the real her, who she is as a person. Your behaviour overall is very shallow.

    If you want girls to like you then you actually gotta talk to them, hang out with them and get to know them. Just by putting fake stuff on your social media, you are not building a connection with anyone at all. And even if some girls liked your posts (e.g. about surfing), that is all fake. So it's not you they like, but who you're pretending to be.
    Last edited by Tinydance; 05-11-2019 at 01:38 AM.

  8. #7
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    How about shutting down the social media and getting out and living your life. For real.

    Going back to school is a smart investment for your future. It will give you more self worth and make your more confident.

    I also suggest therapy. Your obsession with social media is sad and concerning.

    Have you tried Meet ups, hiking or walking groups, surfing classes, volunteering, new hobbies, whatever?

    Lastly, the girl does not sound interested, plus she lives in another state. You're only interested because she is hot. I do not have social media. I have a very active social life. Maybe, this is because i do not live my life through a screen.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 05-11-2019 at 01:46 AM.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I don't feel you're happy with yourself at all and that's most of your problem. With or without social media you'll find yourself developing unhealthy habits: drinking, other addictions, mixing with the wrong crowds, negative outlook on college, self-absorbed and not focused on the program/school and circling around continuously about how sad and worthless you are. I don't think this is a phase actually. I think you're really hurt and plagued by issues of self-worth and are having a difficult time comparing yourself to others around you - what they're doing, what other guys and gals are up to, how you appear to others because deep down, you don't look good to yourself.

    In your other post (#3 down the thread), you called social media a 'game' you're trying to figure out how to play. What I really think you're trying to do is reinvent yourself because you're not happy with the way you are right now.

    Until you expel those thoughts and break that cycle of negative thinking, you won't move past this unhappiness. If you're unhappy with the life you're living right now, you do have opportunities for change - think positive and let those opportunities in, make better decisions for yourself. Your relationship with social media (I'm specifically meaning your relationship WITH social media not with other people on social media) is, to me, just a magnifying glass into your mind and how you see yourself/what you really think of yourself deep down.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You need to get off those manosphere sites, they are for losers and the advice is for losers.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Ahhhh, the affects of rebounding...

    I donít think you have a social media problem. I think you have a hard headed, wonít listen to your own heart and mind problem.

    You transferred all those feelings you had about your ex to this woman.... a hook up...because the pain subsided momentarily when you were with her so sheís now become salvation for you. Rebounding 101. She could be a box of cereal. you donít love her, youíre not enamored by her. You like her and had you been in a healthy head space you would have enjoyed your vacation hook up for what it was. a vacation hook up, by insteas youíre trying to prove yourself worthy...to a vacation hook up...

    Are you seeing a counselor yet? If not I think nows the time, in the meantime, no more dating or even hookups, you arenít ready and thatís ok not everyone is.

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