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Thread: What just happened?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Cope's Avatar
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    "Me: And what were you doing between 8:44 am [Note: she wakes up around 7 am- 8am to walk her dog then goes back to sleep.. she messaged me last at 8:44 am] till now?"

    "I donít know what all your morning tasks entail"


    -You do know what she does.


    "Her: I am calm - do not tell me to relax. Itís just hilarious that if tables were turned youíd have been all upset. "

    - I believe her, because you're mentioning what time she wakes up, when she answered you etc.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Cope's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Tyresee
    Ive told her this before: I like being updated if sheís leaving the house, about to sleep or nap or if sheís going to be busy for a long period of time. This is because if I donít hear from her for a long time, I worry (Iím sure this is normal) so a heads up is nice. If she forgets every now and then, itís not the end of the world but consistently is a problem for me
    Personally, I don't find it normal, but if it works for you, cool. Does it?

    How many hours are you ok with her not texting you?

  3. #13
    Member Tyresee's Avatar
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    Yes I understand what you mean. I do know what time (approximately) she wakes up and all but why Iím saying is sometimes what she does in the morning is different. She told me that she wants to start applying for jobs in the morning and stay awake after she walks her dogs.

    All Iím saying is that Iím not going to assume anything. I made that quite clear to her for a long time now because in the past Iíd get penalized for doing so.

  4. #14
    Member Tyresee's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cope
    Personally, I don't find it normal, but if it works for you, cool. Does it?

    How many hours are you ok with her not texting you?
    Yes, Iím cool with that and Iíve shared this with her before. Iím not insane and go nuts if I donít hear from her for 4 hours. If it gets to around 5-6 hours then I start wondering b/c I know sheís almost always close to her phone so I donít see why she wouldnít message

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Cope's Avatar
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    Look, I don't know who started this, but what I see is both of you are indulging in it. What does it matter if she wanted to wake up earlier and she didn't? What does it matter if you didn't send as many texts as another day?

    All of this show insecurity from both sides. You say you can't assume what she's doing at any time. This sounds normal, but from the texts, I sense that it's not that you just can't assume, but that you're worried. Correct me if I'm wrong please!

  7. #16
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    Okay, so here's the deal, as i read your text, the first thing that came in my mind is that it's totally normal i swear.
    I'm in an almost 1 year relationship, and we still have this kind of issues.
    Let me explain, since i stand in the girl position, i know how it feels to be away from your beloved one, i'm not sure if i can make you get the idea, but the thing is, we want to be aware of every little detail (maybe not all girls are), but for myself (and looks like your girl is kinda similar) i feel more safe and secure when my partner takes time to tell me how was his day and what he did (even if sometimes it's not much or it's just a simple routine), it makes me feel more present in his life and more informed.
    This is just an example, but i remembered a week-end where he got sick and didn't tell me (while he told a friend), and i got verry pissed off when i knew that from his friend and not from him.
    Women are kind of possessive and curious, so this first thing is natural.
    The second thing is, i know that we tend to not realise that you might be tired or what kind of situation you are in, but this is a way to get your attention, even if it's selfish somehow. And for the "ignoring and not answeting part", well you must be sure that there is a reason for that (girls are overthinkers).
    However, well that doesn't mean you should accept it, try to find a good way to deal with it and figure out what's wrong.. matters like this shouldn't take a big part of your relationship, like you shouldn't make this a big deal all the time, try to see the bigger picture and find a better way to communicate and feel that there is attention and care between the two of you, because in the end this is a matter of "communication" and it's important not to neglect such a thing. Beside, this is an advice but try to be as direct and simple when you say something, it will make things easier and will avoid the furious talk.
    Good luck.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Tyresee
    Ive told her this before: I like being updated if sheís leaving the house, about to sleep or nap or if sheís going to be busy for a long period of time. This is because if I donít hear from her for a long time, I worry (Iím sure this is normal) so a heads up is nice. If she forgets every now and then, itís not the end of the world but consistently is a problem for me
    Does she live in a dangerous area? Is that why you like knowing when she leaves the house?

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Cope's Avatar
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    @Riri2019 No, women are not possessive, curious and over thinkers. Those are traits of human beings in general. Bad ones too.

    Asking how your partner's day is normal, checking in every single moment is not.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cope
    Look, I don't know who started this, but what I see is both of you are indulging in it. What does it matter if she wanted to wake up earlier and she didn't? What does it matter if you didn't send as many texts as another day?

    All of this show insecurity from both sides. You say you can't assume what she's doing at any time. This sounds normal, but from the texts, I sense that it's not that you just can't assume, but that you're worried. Correct me if I'm wrong please!
    I'd feel suffocated and utterly uncomfortable if my boyfriend questioned me about when I woke up, I needed to tell him when I get out home or would insist in knowing why I woke earlier than I said I would or had to know my morning or daily routines in general and check on them. This is creepy and controlling. This is too much from both of you and I don't see the big deal in all of these nor a reason to argue. Let each other breath for god sake.

  11. #20
    Member Tyresee's Avatar
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    What just happened?

    Sorry if Iím speaking like you know who we are, Iíll try to be more descriptive so you have a better understanding of the situation.

    It doesnít matter what time she wakes up tbh, she could wake up early because she wants to get Saturday cleaning out of the way or sleep in because itís a Saturday. Like I was saying before, aside from normal conversations, I only expect texts when Iím not going to hear from her for awhile. I donít feel insecure at all rather itís a safety concern for me.

    My focus isnít on that part of the conversation tho, Iím trying to figure out how it even became a problem in the first place. I literally felt no way throughout the whole convo as I was busy with my project but then she kept saying Iím ďturning it back on herĒ and is being argumentative.

    I ended the conversation respectfully because my project is very important and she knows that, apologized and told her I love her. Why couldnít she just move on? She went on to say Iím making excuses and am not actually sorry. Like Iím just tired of hearing these things

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