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Thread: Very toxic relationship ended. Please share your thoughts

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by MattyD1980

    In the panic/stress/worry of what had just happened I drove on and my back wheel went over her left knee.
    Dude! If the wheel of your car drove over her knee, that is an extremely serious situation, her knee, ligaments surrounding would have been totally crushed and shattered, did you take her to hospital or call an ambulance?

    Also, I realize it was an accident but you can expect her to file a civil lawsuit for hospital, doctor, physical therapy expenses as well as pain and suffering (punitive damages) which tend to be quite high.

    Your insurance should pay but your premiums will skyrocket. So good luck w that.

    Other than that, agree w others, this is a very toxic relationship, in which you are both to blame imo.

  2. #12
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MattyD1980
    I drove on and my back wheel went over her left knee.
    I'm really interested in this part. If the wheel went over her knee, it would be completely crushed and she'd have a devastating injury which could take months and months to heal and she'll probably have many issues with that knee for years to come. Did you at least call for an ambulance?

  3. #13
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    Great that you're getting therapy. Is the therapist addressing why you stayed in this situation?

  4. #14
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Dont ever contact her again. Block and delete, remain NC. She sounds really screwed up and it's her job to get help if and when she decides to.

    Glad you are getting therapy, please keep going and work on getting yourself sorted out.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    Dude! If the wheel of your car drove over her knee, that is an extremely serious situation, her knee, ligaments surrounding would have been totally crushed and shattered, did you take her to hospital or call an ambulance?

    Also, I realize it was an accident but you can expect her to file a civil lawsuit for hospital, doctor, physical therapy expenses as well as pain and suffering (punitive damages) which tend to be quite high.

    Your insurance should pay but your premiums will skyrocket. So good luck w that.

    Other than that, agree w others, this is a very toxic relationship, in which you are both to blame imo.
    Originally Posted by Capricorn3
    I'm really interested in this part. If the wheel went over her knee, it would be completely crushed and she'd have a devastating injury which could take months and months to heal and she'll probably have many issues with that knee for years to come. Did you at least call for an ambulance?
    Agree with this, I actually read it as ankle and had to go back because I canít imagine how one would accidentally run over someoneís knee, I hope you come back to clarify.

    Either way Iím not participating in bashing her, not with the limited info given. At most Iíll say this was a mutually destructive situation and thank goodness itís over.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    I mean... punching someone in the head while they're operating a 2500+ lbs. vehicle is pretty bad in terms of both abuse and sheer self-preservation. I happen to be someone who, while not justifying it, doesn't believe every act of violence just falls out of the sky, but it'd be impressive if you could draw some even vague causation there.

    Still, there is a whole lot of "how?" going on. She's refusing to get out of the car but has her seatbelt off and car door open for you to shove her out? She falls out in a way half her legs are lying flat under the car? You flat our run over her knees and it's just a topic of passive aggressive jabbing for her? There's a good reason a good number of folks are caught up on this specific detail. I could maybe envision her leaning in from out the door and slapping / punching the **** out of you, and you panicking and stepping on the pedal for her to stumble and get caught beneath, but that's not the impression I got from your account of things.

    I don't know. Giving you the most benefit I possibly can, it's just as much for the potential incrimination inflicting injury while defending yourself as it is for the damage a partner could inflict on you that you should cut the cord the moment abuse presents itself. But rarely, if ever, have I seen a healthy individual just catching themselves in a relationship where they're getting punched in the head by their partner while driving. That's not to victim blame, but whether it's for a mutually toxic dynamic or your own mental / emotional complications leaving you vulnerable, I'd strongly encourage some professional help for yourself.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MattyD1980
    Thank you for your reply LikeWater. It's appreciated. I look back and question if there was anything I could've done differently for it to not end in such a crap way. She'd blame me for why she got angry. Say I'm selfish and only think about myself. Say I wasn't enough or man enough for her. Never really understood these kind of remarks.
    There's nothing you could've done differently except from getting away from this much sooner. Crazy is crazy and reveals itself crazy no matter what you do.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    Agree with this, I actually read it as ankle and had to go back because I canít imagine how one would accidentally run over someoneís knee, I hope you come back to clarify.

    Either way Iím not participating in bashing her, not with the limited info given. At most Iíll say this was a mutually destructive situation and thank goodness itís over.
    I now read the knee part better... I also don't understand, so she was inside the car hitting you in the head while you drove and wouldn't get out, but then she finally got out and you gave her a nudge (how? With the car?) and she fell down and then you wan over her knee? Autch!

  10. #19
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    Hi all,

    Went to hospital. Nothing was broken. She was just told to rest. Which she found difficult so it's probably taking longer to heal than usual as she was walking on it fairly soon after. Was just the one leg. I was concerned for my safety. She could've picked up a pen on the dash and stabbed me with it. Not justifying anything. Just trying to get across my worry. Suffered a huge amount of abuse from her over the past year and a half.

    Just checked facebook and she's just sent me a friend request!!!! What's that mean??

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    This alone is enough to end this for good and completely delete and block her and all her people from all your social media and messaging apps. Cut loose, let go, move forward. Do not jump into problems and messes like this. She needs rehab not a bf. Continue therapy and sort all this out, explore why this type of mess and damaged goods appealed to you in the first place. Date women, not projects you think you can fix or rescue.
    Originally Posted by MattyD1980
    She lost her licence to drink driving. She's an alcoholic but doesn't think she is, has depression and bad anxiety.

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