Not feeling it anymore

My partner said that when they kiss me they say “I don’t feel anything” and they look as me as a friend. The problem is, is that we’ve been a thin since September 2018 on and off because they end it once a month for some reason and say they “lose feelings” but then a couple days or weeks go by and all of a sudden they like me again and we’re a thing again. It’s a cycle. But how do I get them t feel something again when they kiss me? I threw them a surprise birthday party with a bunch of friends and they said “you look cute” they flirt with me in person and then they always end up kissing me but then say “I don’t feel anything” how do I change that? Is there something I can do to make them have those feelings for me again??

I don;t understand why you would want to continue with this? They do not have feelings for you, why are you so desperate to be with someone who sees you as a friend? Where is your self respect!

End this and move on with your life.

Read up on attachment theory, it might help you understand. But, still, protect yourself. If this doesn't make you happy, and I don't see how it can, you should get out.

You shouldn't be subjugating yourself to this hot/cold situation. Do you have friends or any support network or are you feeling isolated?

How many partners have you got?

Do all of them say this at the same time?

Are you dating exclusively or just friends? Or is it unsure to her whether you are a couple or friends or just testing and questioning?

on and off because they end it once a month for some reason and say they “lose feelings” but then a couple days or weeks go by and all of a sudden they like me again and we’re a thing again.

"suddenly" they like you again because they're probably keeping you around while they wait for someone they really "feel it" to come up or maybe they come again when things with someone else fails... who knows? It's comfortable having you around as a friend and a safety net, but not an actual relationship.

How you change that? By getting away from that situation. Stop waiting for them to come around or be dependent on how they say they feel about you.

How many partners have you got?

Do all of them say this at the same time?

People who identify as gender non-binary often prefer to be referred to as “they” since neither “he” or “she” applies.

Honestly, I think it’s best to move on. You deserve someone who is confident in their feelings for you. Constantly worrying about when they will break up with you next is not healthy and will only widdle away at your self-esteem.

People who identify as gender non-binary often prefer to be referred to as “they” since neither “he” or “she” applies.

 

Honestly, I think it’s best to move on. You deserve someone who is confident in their feelings for you. Constantly worrying about when they will break up with you next is not healthy and will only widdle away at your self-esteem.

Thanks for that!

It’s still very confusing to read though!

They is plural.

Probably easier to decipher if the op referred to this person as x or y or anything other than plural.

Only people with low self esteem let other people treat them like yo-yo's. Dump the wishy washy person who isn't into you. Work on your self esteem so that you will attract, and be attracted to, people who are worthy of you.

Thanks for that!

It’s still very confusing to read though!

They is plural.

Probably easier to decipher if the op referred to this person as x or y or anything other than plural.

I was also a bit confused (non english native speaker here) and at first thought it was plural, but then I remembered it could be what RedDress said. I even wrote "he" (don't know why I assumed it was a man) and then deleted it and wrote "they". I think OP is referring to just one person.

Is there something I can do to make them have those feelings for me again??

No, because those feelings were never really there to begin with. This person will be gone for good when they eventually meet someone they do have feelings for.

I'm sorry, OP, but this is an utter waste of your time.

I agree. One can't arbitrarily change pronoun usage. Sheesh.

For a good relationship, you need someone who is really attracted to you. They are a lot more fun!