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Thread: Alone

  1. #1

    Alone

    I have been in a long term relationship (14 years) and it has been a struggle for me most of those years. History: I had recently left my abusive husband- going through a messy divorce. Had a little boy who was about 4 and life was a mess- I was 26. Met an older man, fell in love with him and moved in pretty much immediately- I was stupid and desperate to fill a big empty spot in my middle- he was very guarded and it took a really long time for him to reciprocate what I was feeling for him. He always threw up walls and I was stupid enough to keep running at them. Nearly a year after hooking up with him, telling him my deepest feelings, I got him to tell me that he loved me back. So life was okay for awhile- I was able to exist in a state of denial. He was adamantly against PDAs, no hand holding and I was yearning for that. I Couldnít figure I out. We ended up moving to another town for work and everything changed. Fast forward 12íish years, we donít kiss or hug, we sleep head to foot and we havenít had sex for at least 8 months. I am so incredibly lonely. . Is it time to call it a show?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
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    Whose idea was it to sleep head to foot???
    Thatís not really normal?
    So you are 40 now with an 18 yr old son that lives with you?

  3. #3
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    "Call it a show." You should have ended this years ago.

  4. #4
    Never really discussed the sleeping arrangements but he is the one turned around

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    14 years is a long time and breaking up will be painful, messy and turn your whole life upside down...

    Unfortunately though, I don't see this getting any better...probably worse if anything :(

    What does your son think about him?

    Sorry for your situation. Once your out and healing, things will improve*

    Sending You Strength

    Carus*

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What happened 8 mos ago?
    Originally Posted by LonelyPath
    We ended up moving to another town for work and everything changed. we havenít had sex for at least 8 months. I am so incredibly lonely.

  8. #7
    My son doesnít like him. They fight all the time and my husband tries to control everything.

  9. #8
    I donít know! Before that sex was about every 2 or 3 months.

  10. #9
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LonelyPath
    He was adamantly against PDAs, no hand holding and I was yearning for that. I Couldnít figure I out. We ended up moving to another town for work and everything changed. Fast forward 12íish years, we donít kiss or hug, we sleep head to foot and we havenít had sex for at least 8 months. I am so incredibly lonely. . Is it time to call it a show?
    - I'm sorry to hear this. He's either not in love, or has a problem. Women need affection and sex to stay in love with a man. Counseling might be one avenue - if you can find one who understands this, and can get him to go.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Marriage therapy. Particularly with this much family conflict. Resentments like this will kill your sex life. First go yourself and discuss all the fighting and resentment. Then ask your husband to come with you, if you want to attempt to save your marriage.
    Originally Posted by LonelyPath
    My son doesnít like him. They fight all the time and my husband tries to control everything.


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