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Thread: Mixed emotions over the loss of an online friend

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    I agree with the others that you need to get offline and start building up your life. Is there a reason you have not already done so?

    Unfortunately, this girl was just never going to be a viable prospect for you. I have to wonder if she's dating someone who clued into the fact that she's got an internet guy she chats with, and he wasn't happy about it. Or, she realized she couldn't keep chatting with you in the same manner if she's got a boyfriend and took a preemptive strike by cutting contact with you before that was discovered.
    You are probably on to something. In retrospect, I believe that there was someone in her life (possibly even a husband, for all I knew) and he gave her an ultimatum. I think that she knew pretty far in advance that she was cutting ties with me and she didn't want me to suspect it because she knew how sensitive I could be. So she just played it cool and made me think everything was peachy. That is why she made sure to send me a recipe through a PM the day before. So that I would not see the unfriending coming. But, yes, I think that there was a man in the picture. Definitely there towards the end, if not all along.

  2. #12
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    You really need to get out and make new friends, then you date.

  3. #13
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    It saddens me to read about people living like 90-year-old recluses. My 89-year-old mother has more of a social life.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    It saddens me to read about people living like 90-year-old recluses. My 89-year-old mother has more of a social life.
    Bingo! As a matter of fact, someone gave me something to ponder. Of course, when they said it, I just shrugged it off, but on the inside, I was like "yikes! They are right!". They told me "dude, you jump up and down and can't wait to spend an evening on your couch, chatting it up with someone online. And yet, you aren't even an afterthought to them. Don't think for one second that they are just like you, staying in all the time, living off of chats. No. They have lives. Actual lives. While you do not". It's sad how I have let that happen.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    I promise you that if you were to cultivate real life relationships and engage in hobbies, electronic friendships will have little or no appeal to you.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    As the saying goes, this too shall pass. However, it does make me leery of getting too attached to anyone.
    Here's a straight up, no holds barred bit of news for ya, WorkSux: A chat relationship with some chick you NEVER met should not be making you jaded like that.

    Get off your computer and start living a life IN THE REAL WORLD. My goodness, you have formed an unhealthy attachment to words on a screen without actions to back any of them up as the truth.

    Be glad she's blocked you because now you can rehab from your addiction to her and your superficial relating by going cold turkey and keeping yourself busy doin OFF LINE pursuits.

    I wish you a pleasant fresh air, sans screen experience.

  8. #17
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    OP, you sound like a nice guy.

    I think you need to ask yourself, if you would want to date you? Would you be interested in someone who had no life outside their home, and cultivated their friendships online, or would you want someone who got out, had interests and a social life?

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Here's a straight up, no holds barred bit of news for ya, WorkSux: A chat relationship with some chick you NEVER met should not be making you jaded like that.

    Get off your computer and start living a life IN THE REAL WORLD. My goodness, you have formed an unhealthy attachment to words on a screen without actions to back any of them up as the truth.

    Be glad she's blocked you because now you can rehab from your addiction to her and your superficial relating by going cold turkey and keeping yourself busy doin OFF LINE pursuits.

    I wish you a pleasant fresh air, sans screen experience.
    I don't know how it happened. How I became so addicted to words on a screen. The funny part is, a few years ago, I saw someone go bananas over someone who they had been chatting with online who just up and disappeared one day. They even made a second account and searched for their former online friend's account, just to see if they had been blocked. When they could not find them with the other account, they just fell apart and said "why?? Why did she just shut down her account like that?". And my reaction was "dude...it was someone you met on social media for crying out loud!". And yet, a couple of years later, I end up doing the same thing. For a year and a half, I was hooked on this "friendship". I can remember when I first sensed that she was pretty much done with me. It was a year ago. She made up her mind to cut ties with me then, but held off on actually doing it. She kept me around, out of pity, probably. And then eventually, even that expired. How pathetic have I become. Rehab is a good word. A complete and total rehab and rebuild is on the horizon for me

    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    OP, you sound like a nice guy.

    I think you need to ask yourself, if you would want to date you? Would you be interested in someone who had no life outside their home, and cultivated their friendships online, or would you want someone who got out, had interests and a social life?
    You bring up an excellent point. I either would not date me at all, or I would tell me that attempting to live life online had to cease, because it was a deal breaker.

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