I want to get over it ... but i can't

Hello everyone.

I want your advice on how i can forget and get over my relationship with this girl.

She is a classmate in my first year at college ... she was cute and friendly but i really wasn't so much into dating her or making a move on her. Slowly we were becoming friends and she seems to enjoy my company. She asked for my phone number, asked to hang out sometimes, offered to work on homework together ... It was clear that she liked me more than my other classmates, and some of them even asked me if i was dating her ... She becomes touchy and flirts sometimes with me, rests her head on my shoulder when we are sitting too close to each other. I started to like her back more but i wanted to play it slowly, see what her true intentions are since i don't know her that well.

For 3 months, we were always interacting with each other and rumors about us being a couple started, and from her behavior i could only conclude that she really likes me and i started to fall for her ... but i should not have ...

I found out that she has a boyfriend already. He came to see her in an event in the faculty and seeing them together really hurt me. I felt like i was an idiot for thinking that i'm the one she likes and wants to be with. But now when i think about it, it wasn't totally my fault ... She was leading me on. She never mentioned him before despite the huge amount of conversations we had. She had the chance to bring him up more than once, but she didn't, she hid it from me and avoided telling me that she is in a relationship.

I was mad, angry and sad at first, but i stayed patient and silent, believing that this was my fault for falling for those mixed signals. If i could, i would have cut all communication with her, but she is a classmate and i will see her everyday in the faculty so i have nowhere to run and there is no way to avoid her. Even if i did, that will make me feel like a jerk, and more rumors will start. So we stayed friends. I was there for her and helped her just like i did with any other friend, and she showed that she cares about me and shows concern.

Now a few days are remaining till the end of the year, and we are still friends but colder than the beginning of the year. I don't know about her, but for me, sometimes i feel like i got over it and forgot all what happened and that being friends with her is okay for me and i don't care about her boyfriend or whatever she did to me. But sometimes, here i am, still thinking about all of this, wondering what the hell was going through her mind when she gave me all those mixed signals and flirted while being in a relationship.

I wanted to date other girls so i can forget about her and that is the best solution for me, but i didn't find a girl that likes me more than her.

What are your thoughts on this, guys ?

Thank you in advance.

I think that she is an attention seeker, and I also feel sorry for her bf. Keep your distance. She is not to be trusted.

She doesn't like you, or she would have ended things with her bf. Move on from this.

“I wanted to date other girls so i can forget about her and that is the best solution for me, but i didn't find a girl that likes me more than her. ”

You didn’t find a girl that liked you more than her???

Do you actually see what’s wrong in that statement?

It doesn’t sound like you ever met this girl outside of classes , study etc? So why would she discuss her personal life , bf with you?

Why are you behaving like a sitting duck? If you want to date someone , then ask them out?

If you had asked her out she would have declined saying she has a bf.

Stop playing the victim here.

You knew her for months and never once asked her out!

And now you are wallowing I’m self pity? Really???

That's a good start. However join some clubs, groups sports, classes, etc and just start jumping into life more, also talking to various girls. You won't "find any better" if you're not putting yourself in situations where you find them.

I wanted to date other girls

“You knew her for months and never once asked her out!

And now you are wallowing I’m self pity? Really???

Actually i did, i asked her out on a dinner and she accepted, and it was just 2 days before i found out about her boyfriend. Sorry i forgot to mention that earlier, but i clearly mentioned that we were hanging out and she talked to me about a lot of things on her personal life : her family, her childhood stories, she talked to me about her parents, her brother and her sister and a LOT of things ... but not this boyfriend. You see ? Even when the chance came for her to draw a line between us, she didn't and chose to date both of us at the same time, while keeping a secret from me that she is already taken.

And here is more. The day before the event when her boyfriend came, we met and we went out shopping and when i walked her home and asked her what are her plans during the event tomorrow, she said that she has nothing to do and that she will most likely spend the day with me, when actually her boyfriend is supposed to come visit her.

Dont call yourself stupid, because I was thinking the same thing, that she had feelings for you. Honestly she probably did, and honestly I think she was trying to cheat on her boyfriend with you. If you convince yourself that she is a cheater, that might help you get over her. Just put yourself out there a ton, occupy your time with other things, and soon those feelings will fade. Good luck man.

Just out of curiosity, how do you know he's her boyfriend? As opposed to a date to this event, for example, or a guy she's casually seeing.

Just out of curiosity, how do you know he's her boyfriend? As opposed to a date to this event, for example, or a guy she's casually seeing.

The way they were interacting, how he kept wrapping his arm around her the whole time. Anyone can tell that they are a couple.

On valentine day, when this topic came, i casually and jokingly asked her and she confirmed it, even though i knew it but pretended not to.

Dont call yourself stupid, because I was thinking the same thing, that she had feelings for you. Honestly she probably did, and honestly I think she was trying to cheat on her boyfriend with you. If you convince yourself that she is a cheater, that might help you get over her. Just put yourself out there a ton, occupy your time with other things, and soon those feelings will fade. Good luck man.

Thank you so much, dude.

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