Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 36

Thread: Seeing a Married Woman for over a year - completely in love

  1. #21
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    1,308
    Originally Posted by ajrau
    I completely agree with you. Itís very hard to hear, and I guess that realisation came when I decided to leave, but Iím still hurting so much as a result. I just need to know Iíve made the right choice. I mean, is it possible sheís being genuine and there are factors Iím not aware of? I simply donít know, and I can really only go off face value...
    It is possible the woman is being genuine... anything is possible... but it's highly unlikely and I think you know this if you look at the big picture.

    Also, acting like a martyr isn't going to help your situation. Put the bat down, accept the consequences of your decision and the pain that comes with it, and decide how you will move forward through the pain to something better.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    8,961
    arjau, believe it or not, your affair actually helped her stay in the marriage; having you on the side made it tolerable.

    Now that you've left (which was the smart thing to do, for you) she'll just find someone else to fill the void in her unhappy marriage, I'm sorry.

    I don't mean to sound hurtful, but once you realize you were not all that special to her, just someone to fill the void, it may make it easier to move on.

    I only say this cause my own dad had affairs for years to fill the void in his marriage.

    He never left the marriage, why? None of those women meant enough to him to leave. They were just void-fillers.

    Eventually, he did meet a woman who was special enough for him to leave (who became my step mom), and he left very quickly. And married her once the divorce became final. She was the love of his life for 15 years till she passed and he never cheated again.

    Don't ever allow yourself to be strung along like this, it's a self-esteem killer as you're disvovering now, sadly.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 05-23-2019 at 11:50 AM.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member LC8328's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    1,049
    Gender
    Female
    Of course she seems sincere. That's what cheaters do. They are excellent liars, or they wouldn't be able to hold up the deception for so long.

    I agree with maew; accept and move on. It will be a process, but you deserve better.

    I am very sorry that you're hurting, but it's better that you learn this now rather than give this woman another year, month, day of your life.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    9,732
    Gender
    Female
    She's afraid of disappointing others and what they might think of her, but she's not at least equally concerned about the impact this has on you.
    Last edited by reinventmyself; 05-23-2019 at 12:21 PM.

  5.  

  6. #25
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    23,531
    Gender
    Female
    If she DID leave her husband, dontcha think this proves she doesn't take marriage seriously and would just cheat on you, too?
    I would make sure to never contact her again and block her number.

    What about you makes you go after unavailable women? Do you not feel worthy of a real relationship?

  7. #26
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    8,961
    Originally Posted by abitbroken

    What about you makes you go after unavailable women? Do you not feel worthy of a real relationship?
    That is a good question!

    And I think one worth exploring OP.

    I recall a few years ago, meeting a man and feeling an attraction.

    I actually went on about three dates with him, lots of chemistry, I really liked him!

    Initially he told me he was separated, divorce almost final.

    After a few dates, he owned up and told me he was still married, albeit unhappily.

    Funny thing happened after that, I found I had lost nearly all respect for him!

    That he could cheat on his wife, to me that's getting down to the bottom of the barrel, no thanks.

    My own dad was a cheater (per my earlier post) it was rough going growing up around that, but we made amends later and had a great relationship.

    But nevertheless, I simply have no respect for cheaters, under any circumstance, just leave.

    Can't go much lower imo.

  8. #27
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    635
    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    arjau, believe it or not, your affair actually helped her stay in the marriage; having you on the side made it tolerable.

    Now that you've left (which was the smart thing to do, for you) she'll just find someone else to fill the void in her unhappy marriage, I'm sorry.

    I don't mean to sound hurtful, but once you realize you were not all that special to her, just someone to fill the void, it may make it easier to move on.

    I only say this cause my own dad had affairs for years to fill the void in his marriage.

    He never left the marriage, why? None of those women meant enough to him to leave. They were just void-fillers.

    Eventually, he did meet a woman who was special enough for him to leave (who became my step mom), and he left very quickly. And married her once the divorce became final. She was the love of his life for 15 years till she passed and he never cheated again.

    Don't ever allow yourself to be strung along like this, it's a self-esteem killer as you're disvovering now, sadly.
    "...your affair actually helped her stay in the marriage; having you on the side made it tolerable." This is so true. Sorry, but I couldn't agree more.

  9. #28
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    635
    Of course you are in a bad place and, although this is totally your fault for messing around with a married woman in the first place, I feel bad that you are going through this pain. I understand that one is unable to control his/fer feeling but dude, she is married; that's all you need to know. I am not trying to be disrespectful or mean, and I do feel for you, but you should have walked away from the get-go. It doesn't matter how sincere, etc that she was/is - she is a cheater! Plain and simple. If you truly loved you, she would have gotten a divorce, no matter what. Please do yourself a favour and get her out of your life. She's taken. Next time, focus your energies on a single woman. Please.

  10. #29

    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    6
    Thank you all for your support. Iíve taken the resounding advice given to me on the forum and completely cut ties with her. I know it canít be true love, and thus I need to move on. Thank you for your kind words and support. Itís a harsh reality to face, but I know Iíll come out of it stronger than ever.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    5,294
    Goddess is so right, if she was genuine, she would have left him long time ago. But even then, you would have to consider that she might do to you what she did to her husband should you become the husband one day.

    True love doesn't involve hurting other people and true love doesn't involve the kind of pain you're feeling.

    You DO have the strength to get past this. We are here to talk to you anytime you need.

Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •